Chuck Norris

[Kanewpadle]

Bigfoot saw Chuck Norris once. Nobody believed him.

When the Boogie Man goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

[ditrina]

BABA YAGA Sleeps with one eye open, If Chuck is in town

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[Toolguy]

It's been rumored that Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun...

 

[Rudi]

Chuck is THE MAN!

 

[lihpster]

Chuck Norris tried to give a cat a bath once. ONCE!

 

[The Last Standing Knight]

"Yea, it is written that Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Paul Harrell"
-ancient internet proverb

 

[Jlpgumbo]

My favorite
Chuck has died many times, but the Grimm Reaper is too afraid to tell him

 

[Xfuzz]

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do ?

All of them.

 

[demkofour]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

[SnidelyWhiplash]

 

[SnidelyWhiplash]

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[madmikeb]

My favorite is: Chuck Norris had a street named for him but they had to change it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

 

[Tom S.]

 

[ditrina]

I once saw Chuck Norris in a bar kill Baba Yaga WITH A PENCIL!!
WITH A PENCIL.... WHO DOES THAT??? Chuck of course!

 

[Eric300]

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his house in front of his fireplace. The bear's not dead, it's just too afraid to move.

 

[A10]

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised...

 

[Rudi]

Chuck Norris was out for a swim one day. That's what the Titanic hit.

 

[Lou_the_welder]

What better password is there

 

[handejector]

DON'T use a mere 9mm on Chuck Norris!
(That oughta start somethin')

 

[Imissedagain]

Chuck just borrowed my Grafs, and will be playing Enforcer for the Panthers tonight.
Oilers might not show up.
Superfoot wears the same size boots, and will play game four.

 

[venomballistics]

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

 

[Rudi]

It was Chuck Norris that wiped out the dinosaurs.

 

[Truckman]

Chuck's home, Lone Wolf Ranch, is on Hwy 90 near Navasota...I drive right past it on my way to the gun shows in Brenham...Across the highway is his bottling plant for CForce Water, (some of the purest, best tasting artesian water on the planet for those who haven't tried it) and once in a while all the delivery trucks leaving there to fill the demands cause the road to get a little rough...When this happens Chuck walks out to his front gate and just stares at the pavement until it straightens back out...The county grants him a partial tax abatement in return for this service......Ben

 

[S&W Fan]

Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups, he pushes the earth away from him

 

[venomballistics]

How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?......

.... All of them

 

[Rudi]

NASA didn't launch Apollo to the Moon. Chuck Norris threw them up there, side arm.

 

[steelslaver]

Chesty Puller used Chuck Norris for an Aide de Camp.

Chesti went to a women's lib meeting and camp back with a sandwich and his clothes ironed

 

[soFlaNative]

Re: the Bear vs. Pepper spray thread.
Chuck uses one breath freshener, the other's a deoderant.