Favorite sayings

[ContinentalOp]

"Never argue with a fool. Nobody will be able to tell the difference."

"[insert name] is a penny short of a dollar."

 

[vytoland]

sayings.....these get my blood pressure UP.....

NO PROBLEM
HAVE A NICE DAY

 

[jimmyj]

1. I am going to stun slap you so hard your whole family will feel pain
2. Do you need a stun slap to get your one working brain cell working ?
3. If intelligence was gasoline, you wouldn't have enough power to get out of the driveway
4. I don't know how they do it on your planet, but here we do it this way
5. If things are so much better where you come from, why are you here ?
6. Have you taken your smart pills yet ?

*** This come on to a girl that my first FTO taught me:
"Quick, notify Heaven,one of their beautiful angels is missing and here she is"
(feel free to use this line, However, it NEVER worked for me)

 

[cpt-t]

((( Don`t Mean Nothing ))). This kinda sorta of fits me now.
ken

 

[oldbrownhat]

sayings.....these get my blood pressure UP.....

NO PROBLEM
HAVE A NICE DAY

The latter one especially. I once saw a T-shirt that read, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT SORT OF A DAY TO HAVE."

ps- from your sig line I'd guess you must have relatives from the north of England.

 

[30-30remchester]

I was called ( ) for brains so often as a child, I started wearing my underwear as a hat.

 

[TennTony]

One I made up to describe someone I once had to work with: If he was half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.

 

[hardcase60]

"Don't know anything about what happened, I was in the restroom."
hardcase60

 

[bamabiker]

Dad would say "Can't never could do nothing."
And about an ugly woman "She can't help how she looks but she could stay home so we don't have to look at her."

Edger Allen Poe said "I do not suffer from mental illness, I enjoy every minute of it."

Never argue with a fool. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

 

[goatsnguns]

"If trips around the world were a nickel....I wouldn't be able to get out of sight"

"If I had your money.....I'd throw mine away"

 

[amazingflapjack]

"History has taught us, that we have learned nothing from history."

 

[Benchrest1]

Its better to be pissed off than pissed on.

 

[Mahalo_.32]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink

 

[armadillo]

Trouble is easier to get into than out of.

Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.

 

[Hugh WW]

Messed Up.

Messed up as a fluff dried soup sandwich!

 

[SAFireman]

Duct tape can fix many things, it can't fix stupid, but it can make it quieter.

If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to me (courtesy of my mother).

 

[oneounceload]

"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience," George Carlin

 

[TX-Dennis]

If you had a brain you'd play with it.

She's so ugly she could bite a pumpkin through a fence.

If you lie down with dogs you will rise up with fleas - my mother swore that one was in the Bible. I proved her wrong by showing her the quote from Abraham Lincoln.

You ain't got sense enough to come in out of the rain.

Pretty is as pretty does.

Boy, you ain't got the brains God gave a grasshopper.

 

[olcop]

Nine dollars figured into many of my grandfather's sayings:
Boy, I'll knock you so far, It'll take $9.00 to send you a postcard (they were a penny at the time)
Harder than a $9.00 cold chisel
Stubborn as a $9.00 mule.
others too;
Colder than a wedge----ugly as home made sin---lied so much he'd have to get somebody else to call his dog,
and many, many more
olcop

 

[jinx]

At my age you never pass up a bathroom.