Favorite sayings

[SC_Mike]

Sayings I use often:

I'm just glad to be here.

My, there certainly are quite a lot of books here. (from Monty Python when I want to change the subject).

Ya'll be quiet. (About nap time)

Few more:

About as ugly as a mud fence.

Wouldn't take a million dollars for him, nor give you .50 for another just like him.

I let my dog pick my friends because if my dog doesn't like you chances are I won't like you either.

 

[Huskerguy]

I haven't had this much fun since the hogs ate my little brother.

To my auto collision students when they told me how hard it was to fix a car: of course it's hard, if it was easy they would have done it themselves.

On getting something done but not perfect: you will never see it on a galloping horse.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

On giving some advice on how to treat a smashed had/finger: Soak it in cider.

 

[zeke]

In order to learn something, you must first admit you don't know it.

The more credit given, the more work gets done.

In order to change anything, you have to be willing to piss some people off.

Better to reward those who fix mistakes, than to punish those who make them.

 

[petepeterson]

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

You reap what you sow...

 

[arjay]

Measure once and cut twice
Capitalism is one man exploiting another,socialism is the opposite

 

[jtcarm]

Useless as teats on a boar.
Dumb as an adobe fence.
Sapere aude.

 

[625-7]

Genius has it's limits, but there's no end to stupidity

Can't fix dead and you can't fix stupid

Figures don't lie but liars do figure

 

[Old Seabee]

Saying

Never trust a fart
Never piss into the wind
Your about butt ugly
If you had one less brain cell you would be a grape

 

[Bajadoc]

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

 

[gdog357]

If I thought I was going to live this long I would have taken a little better care of myself!

 

[Collo Rosso]

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Ignorance IS bliss.

If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose.

I don't loan money, it causes amnesia.

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink

, unless you're from Texas.

 

[Maddog 521]

"we don't care how you did it up north"

 

[zzzippper]

"The Pessimist sees the glass as half empty, the Optimist as half full; the Engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be"

There comes a time in every project when it is time to shoot the engineers and get on with production.

There are two kinds of ships. Submarines and targets.

 

[deadin]

5. If things are so much better where you come from, why are you here ?

This one is going to be used on certain new residents here.....

 

[greeman]

A friend at work used to say about the way we did things:
"We measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk and cut it with an axe"

 

[labworm]

After losing the fight:

He has a backhander like John McEnroe

 

[Stevens]

From the Spanish "En boca cerrada no entran moscas!"

Flies don't enter a closed mouth!


Similarly from a church in Apalachicola, Fl.

 

[OFT II]

My granddad told me to avoid any woman that cooks carrots and pees in the same pot.

 

[ContinentalOp]

I'd let my mind wander, but I'm afraid it wouldn't come back.

Behind every dark cloud, is an even darker cloud.