Ghosts of Relationships Past

[MelvinWalker]

Maybe, something is missing from my life and I'm chasing the good feelings, the high, if you will, from from that relationship. Maybe reliving those memories is a way to escape what's in my current life. I think that's what it is.

Could be so...Men want companions as much as women do, but show it far differently. Escapism is a thing too with everyone.

When I watch "Easy Rider" and long for some of that, my wife scoffs and says I'm being an escapist and she's right...However, when we go to the beach and she wears flip-flops and drinks margaritas all weekend, she wants to think she has become Jimmy Buffet..Same thing.

Escapism is needed for fun in life, but it can be a drug and that goes for relationships especially.

 

[quikdraw67]

No, let it go.

Life is not the Hallmark Channel.

 

[pmanton]

I met a beautiful wonderful girl in 1956. I was in the military, didn't commit and lost track of her.

Over the years I wished I had made a commitment.
Many years later while searching in the internet, we connected.

We recently celebrated our 20th anniversary. Life is good.

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[SMSgt]

No one has ever interested me more than my wife of 52 years. She will be my "one and done."

 

[Telecaster]

I’m in the “scratch that itch” camp.

 

[soFlaNative]

I need to figure out what's going with me on before I attempt to make contact.

There you go.
If I felt similar about someone from my past and was able to locate them I'd pen a short note, maybe relate the circumstance that triggered the feeling, in your instance the Bible dedication.
Because I no longer do it enough composing a hand written letter forces me to collect my thoughts so I can relay them on paper in a way that may actually make sense.
You may have regrets if you don't and not much could happen you wouldn't shake off.

 

[RM Vivas]

People -do- change; just not always for the better. Also, we may think the other person has changed but we often don't recognise the changes in our self that the other person may see.

I know that after some of my life experiences, I was a definitely different person.

I'd say if you're single and she is single AND you're ready for 'something', then take the shot.

An aside:
After my divorce I cut a swathe through the nurses I worked with. It was not unusual for me to be 'interacting' with multiple nurses (though not, alas, simultaneously).

One day I got on the elevator at work and in the course of trying to go just six stories up, the elevator picked up THREE nurses who I was 'involved' with. None knew about the others and I was in desperate fear one of them would say something and I'd never get out of that elevator intact. Longest damn elevator ride of my life!

 

[DWalt]

I had one relationship that lasted over three years, and I thought at the time it was the real thing and would never end. I was wrong and got ghosted by her without warning for no reason I could discern. I knew where she was and what she was doing for years after she left and fantasized about trying to get back together with her even after I married someone else. I eventually came to my senses and realized it was total foolishness to believe that we would ever get back together. I just purged her from my memory bank and haven't thought about her much since. And that is exactly what I would advise anyone in similar circumstances to do.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Yes, nothing ventured, nothng gained. Lost touch with a good college friend bck in 1981, found he passed away in 2002. Send a Christmas card with a note of explanation to his wdow-she had remarried. No response. Sent an Easter card to a woman I had been casual friends with 50 years ago-she was recently widowed, received a very nice and detailed card in response.

 

[moralem]

I would look in the mirror first, do I look like a shadow of the young man I was, or simply an older version. Then I would imagine what she might look like….remember you were first attracted to her because of her looks. People age and sometimes not so prettily…..I know I am no looker….lost all my hair, lost all my muscle mass and am now just an old bald skinny dude weighing in at a buck seventy…..standing 6 foot. I once was muscle bound, full head of hair tipping the scales at 225. I am going to my 50th reunion in October…..I will let you know how that turns out.

 

[peyton]

I am so glad this topic came up. My brother is active on reunion web sites and my first girlfriend from 1972 contacted him and asked for my point of contact information.
I spoke with her on telephone and she mentioned divorcing her husband (which is the one I was vying against in 1976).
Well she said she mailed a letter to my house as well!! Buddy, I was glad I am the one who picks up the mail!! Anyway, she was volunteering to come an stay with me.
It seems that my divorce and then getting married again was not mentioned by my little brother! We corresponded a few times and it was good to hear from some one from almost 40 years ago,
but like Garth Brooks sung in "thank god for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
And just because He may not answer, doesn't mean He don't care "
I am happy and content with the women who I have spent 25 years with.

Some where in my junk is that letter, someday I will find it and think fondly of the possibilities and be glad my life turned out the way it is for better or worse.

 

[glenwolde]

Here's how I see it. You're thinking about this and imaging outcomes. What's the positive scenario? What's the negative scenario? I can guarantee you neither of those will work out anything like you imagine. Something else will. Something that's impossible to predict. Could be the best thing that ever happened, or the worst. How lucky are you feeling?

 

[Mule Packer]

After reading the above responses, I'm surprised no one has looked at it from her perspective.

For example, thirty years ago, she dropped you because you were "needy and clingy." Now, just suppose you do happen to get in touch with her again. What do you think her reaction might be? Maybe..."Oh no...he hasn't let go after thirty years. He's still needy and clingy." Probably won't be a turn on for her.

In reality, the fact that you're still thinking about her just proves her point. You're still "clingy."

I certainly don't want to throw ice water on your dreams, but just a thought from maybe the way she might look at it.

 

[galena]

As a Country and Western song says: "Thank God For Unanswered Prayers"

 

[Iggy]

I don’t have this problem.
All of my old girlfriends are dead.
I am blessed to have my true love and best friend still sharing life with me for the last 52 years.
She called me a “turd” because I didn’t ask her to dance before I even knew her name.
It’s been downhill ever since.

 

[RM Vivas]

All of my old girlfriends are dead.

I can respect that. I usually end it with something like "We can still be friends", but hey, you do you!

 

[M29since14]

…I just purged her from my memory bank and haven't thought about her much since. And that is exactly what I would advise anyone in similar circumstances to do.

My recommendation as well. “You can never go ‘home’ again.”

 

[Ματθιας]

No offense to anybody, but think some are reading way too much in what I posted.

I know I have a distorted memory of the reality of that time. In my mind that was the greatest, happiest time of my life! Was it hers, I don't really know. I'd like to think it was, but only she knows. Truth be told, the relationship at that time wasn't meant to be and didn't work out -obviously.

This more about me than it is about her. There's a reason why these memories bubbled to the surface, now. I want to know what triggered these memories and why, then I can move on. They just didn't show up for no reason. That's the outcome I want.

Besides, she's living her life, been living her life with out me - it's not like she made contact w/me. Me making contact with her will not resolve my issues. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.

Typing my thoughts out and interacting with you all is actually helping me - thank you!

 

[jaguargolf]

Laura broke up with me when I was 23. I thought we were going to get married. Her Mom was an heiress of some fortune and told Laura she would cut her out of the will if she married me.
Years later, well after her mother passed and her father was nearing his end, he asked her about me and said he always thought we would have made a good team. Laura told me she had to sit down when he said that.
22 years since the last time I had seen her she tracked me down through an old roommate while I was attending a meeting in D.C. and staying in a hotel near the Whitehouse. She showed up at my hotel room door wearing nothing but a trench coat, pearls and high heels. Thus began an almost 5 year fling. She wanted us to run away together from our families and live somewhere off her money. I couldn't leave my children and broke it all off.
At 45-50 she still was as good looking and well kept as when she was 22.