HELP! Engagement ring issue!

[afriqueart]

Maybe you can just happen to be in a mall and swing into a jewelry store for a look see. A casual browse might shed some light on her real feelings about real vs. engineered.

Don't take the checkbook!

Funny coincidence......As I scrolled down to hit the post button, I noticed an ad for James Allen - Design your own ring.

 

[BarbC]

I've never had an engagement ring and I've never felt like I missed out on anything. The first time I found out I was marrying Charlie is when we went down to the Ford plant and he introduced me around as his fiancee.

If she is a vegan, she probably has strong sentiments and would like the symbology of an engagement ring, so get something nice to pop the question with but keep the receipt in case she wants to exchange it for something she feels more comfortable with.

 

[gunlovingirl]

But she carries a .380 and actually asks if we can go shoot my .357! Is she FAKING?!

Problem solved! Go buy her her very own .357! Get on one knee, pop open the box, and ask her to marry you! Sounds romantic to me! Then again, I'm not married either.

 

[S/W - Lifer]

Get the artificial diamond with the caveat that it can be returned if she doesn't like it. Get a second ring, a real diamond, and give her that as well. It need not be an engagement ring. Present the real diamond second.

With the first ring you tell her you saw that she was sooo impressed by the artificial diamond and that you want her to have what she truely wants. This translates to "I heard you and acted on your wishes," which is a novelty among husbands. Don't worry, it wont last.

With the real diamond you tell her this is genuine, the real McCoy, and represents the sincerity of your love and the authenticity of your relationship. She can return whatever she likes and you won't be offended, because you want her to be happy. She will likely keep both. The diamond can be small, as long as it comes with the promise of a larger diamond later in life, which signals a long term intent on your behalf.

 

[Stinger4me]

In these days of equality, exchange gifts. Diamonds are expensive and so are good handguns. Perhaps you should recieve an nice handgun, doesn't have to be new it could be pre-owned. Do some research on the history of engagement rings and how the diamond industry(Deboer's) started the ejngagement ring thing. THINK or Run Forrest, Run.

 

[ingmansinc]

Something like Dixie said was the way I handled that problem 43 yrs. ago. I took my girl out for dinner and then stopped at a jewelry store and did some window shopping. She told me she liked gold rings better than the white gold and preferred the smaller stones for her small hand. I waited a couple of months, bought the ring and surprised her for her birthday. She still has it and I still have her.

 

[slowburninsteve]

As long as her ring finger will fit inside the trigger guard on a new pistola I don't think you have a problem!
Steve

 

[USAF385]

Thank you all for the good advice. I'll have to keep you updated now.

 

[VAdoublegunner]

I think all the advice from the guys who have been married too long, and the ones who say run, and the one's long divorced and are now members of the "He Man Woman Hater's Club" is interesting, but misses the signals from your original post.

The lady wants a ring from you. That was the focus of her comments. Perhaps she thinks you can't reasonably afford a decent mined diamond now and would be happy with an artificial. Or, as an earthy-crunchy type, feels that diamond mining rapes the earth (which it does), exploits an underclass or workers (which it does), the marketing and selling is corrupt(yep) and prices are artificially set high by the few evil corporate consortiums that control them. Afterall, as gemstones go, diamonds are neither particularly rare not especially attractive unless they are really large ones. Finally, she is unmateriallistic anyway, and what greater symbol of unnecessary materialism than a diamond. She could at least brag about the technology, and how unmaterialistic a manmade one was.

Get her the manmade one like she asked for. Dude, if you can't read the signals now, you *are* doomed!

 

[thomprecision]

The lady wants a ring from you. That was the focus of her comments. Perhaps she thinks you can't reasonably afford a decent mined diamond now and would be happy with an artificial.

Yeah, I would say this is how to read into her signals as well. She's dropping hints, though probably she's not even aware of it consciously. She wants to talk about rings because that's what's on her mind.

But I wouldn't take that to mean she wants an artificial diamond. She probably hasn't thought about what kind of ring she wants yet, as that takes some serious thinking. It's easy to talk about what suits other people, but it's a different story when you have to apply it to yourself. I would ask someone she knows to ask her more directly, maybe she'll give it more thought then.

 

[NCTexan]

After 41 years of matrimonial bliss... I have learned that these women critters have incredible... but selective memories. They also have a uniquely different sense of value, propriety, importance, right, and wrong than most men.

My wife even remembers "the shirt" that I wore on our first date. I don't remember what we had for dinner last night.

Little slights from you to her will be "forever"... so it's not just "diamonds" that are forever.

You will also learn that things that didn't seem important to either of you now, will seem very important later on. Remember that gun that you thought that you didn't want and sold? .... and now you kick yourself every morning and night!

Get the real thing (diamond) and then cost it out for forty years. Probably a lot less than a can of Coke every day.

 

[paladin42]

My wife has both. She likes having a real diamond but also enjoys having a BIGGER fake one. She never mentions which is which in public - only she and I know.

 

[walnutred]

I'd buy the real diamond, no way I'd opt for the man made. When you give it to her tell her you opted for the real stone because it seemed more natural. Though if her heart is set on a synthetic stone you can have one swapped out when you have the ring sized and you will not be offended.

I proposed to my wife on our second date. That was only 24 years ago so were still waiting to see how it's going to work out. Not that I recommend that course of action to my kids mind you.

If you go to a traditional jewelry store talk to a manager and negotiate. One of my cousins has a jewelry store and I once asked him what kind of mark-up they really had. He replied that he would not say but he gives his employees a 70% discount and he didn't loose money on ANYTHING.

 

[Spotteddog]

Emerald cut stone.
Platinum band. (Of high quality!)
2 reflecting bag-gets on either side of the stone.
You can run the cubic zirconia till an anniversary in the future (5?, 10?, 20?)
Because you have the quality setting, you can go with a real stone for it later.
If you Love her, what more needs to be said? Real stone or man made, she's for real!
Congratulations!

 

[jag312]

There have been some places that sell "artificial diamonds", "Russian man-made diamonds", "laboratory diamonds", or some other catch phrase, but they are not carbon based gem stones. Usually they are cubic zirconia or something else. Be very cafeful with your money. You work hard for it, so don't let some fast talking crook steal it from you. Don't believe the sales pitch that jewelers can't tell the difference. Some kid working behind the junk jewelry counter at some discount department store may not be able to tell the difference, but a real jeweler can tell the difference in a few seconds. Go to a local pawn shop and ask the guy how easy it is. Pawn shops don't buy junk thinking it is a real diamond.

There was even a jeweler near me that was arrested for selling cubic zirconias and representing them as real diamonds. I always knew he was a crook.

 

[cass]

For an engagement/wedding ring, buy the real thing. The fake diamonds are great for dinner rings, etc. It may be something she'll pass on to your daughter later on. Granted, it's hard to tell the difference, but would you rather have a S&W or a Taurus?

 

[Sprefix]

Just My Opinion.......

Buy her a Tungsten Carbide ring on E-bay for $25-$100 bucks, take the rest of the "Diamond" money and buy her a spinning wheel(for yarn,wool,alpaca,etc.)with some age and/or history behind it, then go on a vacation of her choice, while still keeping some "Diamond" money tucked away for your future............. The point is the T. Carbide ring is almost indestructible (like the love you two share),the spinning wheel allows her to perpetuate the "giving to each other" you already have--shows you pay attention to her desires, and the vacation can be by her choice and "control" and she may want to visit a place where you can get the Alpaca,wool,etc., to make stuff on the spinning wheel as well as seeing other parts of the world and creating memories TOGETHER. You now are left with some "Diamond" money to stash back, showing your responsibility towards the future. Now I ask you, how do you lose anywhere here??? Just my opinion.........Sprefix

 

[Cruiser RN]

Hi and congrats to the both of you.I think your girl is trying to send you the message that she wants you and isn't concerned about the "material" of the ring but rather the promise and commitment behind it.To think that she doesn't want you to stress over the "two months salary" thing says a awful lot about her.Take her out and let her help pick out the ring,plan a really romantic trip and pop the question.I only wish that the both of you are blessed with a marriage that is as happy as Ginny and I.....Best of luck and God Bless....Mike

 

[G-Mac]

You all know I'm a welder, right?

And welders don't have a reputation as being the most politically correct people. Well, I need to add something here, and I'll try to clean it up from the way it was explained to me...

When I was a young welder (early 20's), let's say about 1983, I worked with this older welder named Al. He's gone now. One day I told Al I was going to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring.

His advice was..."You'd better make it a good one because that ring has to pay for all the ***** you're going to get for the rest of your life".

Y'all can figure out what the asterisks stand for. Meow.

 

[oldfella]

My advice: Don't chance it, a surprise for her may become a nightmare for you. Let her look-see both, the real one and the not so real. If she chooses the not so real, and I think she will, then surprise her with matching earrings and a nice pendant necklace - that, my friend, will put a feather on your cap.

Pete