How do you react when a stranger approaches you in public?

[Kelly Green]

Every situation is different but I try to avoid being approached or talked to by strangers when I'm outdoors in public. It may be rude but most of the time I ignore them and continue on my way. I'm not a paranoid person just cautious. I know that some of these people are just down on their luck but I have know way of knowing what their true intent is. I'm usually armed but the last thing I want is a situation that could become threatening. When I'm with my wife and a person, or persons, we don't know approaches us, I take her by the hand and we make our way to the nearest store entrance or get back into our car, whichever is closest.

Yesterday there was an incident over in Houston where a man was shot in a Lowe's parking lot in the middle of the afternoon. The victim was approached by a man who asked for gas money. When the victim reached into his pocket to give the man some money the perp shot him.

Suspect asks for gas money, shoots Lowe

 

[Kanewpadle]

I don't worry about it much but I am cautious. If I can see their hands then I will close the gap a little so I can use my hands if I need to. But people don't normally approach me because I always have a pissed off look on my face.

 

[jbull380]

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

 

[tops]

I don't worry about it much but I am cautious. But people don't normally approach me because I always have a pissed off look on my face.

Also works for me. Larry

 

[StatesRightist]

I agree, it depends on their posture, manner and most importantly, can I see their hands. I do not mind helping people, but if they get in my personal space or I can't see their hands, it's a problem.

 

[moosedog]

Seeing how most people I pass by or run into in public are strangers, I usually check them out and if we make eye contact long enough, I smile and say "Hi".

 

[DeathGrip]

The way I usually look they want to help me. I carry my little friend in my "Cardboard Concealment Sign". (T.M. goes here).

Custom sizes and personal printing (Cursive at a extra cost, I have to source that out.) are offered by special order.

 

[rags]

The way I usually look they want to help me. I carry my little friend in my "Cardboard Concealment Sign". (T.M. goes here).

Custom sizes and personal printing (Cursive at a extra cost, I have to source that out.) are offered by special order.

WHAT???

 

[arjay]

The last homeless guy that approached me,I handed him my french fries.He acted like I was trying to poison him.Kind of insulting ;-)

 

[sipowicz]

The last homeless guy that approached me,I handed him my french fries.He acted like I was trying to poison him.Kind of insulting ;-)

All the bums around here in Cali are transfat and gluten free. Guess it's catching on elsewhere.

 

[Black_Sheep]

It depends on the strangers body language and the circumstances.

 

[ladder13]

The way I usually look they want to help me.

 

[DeathGrip]

WHAT???

Oh yeah, I'm a professional. Catch me on 441 and Riverland. I'm the one with the most professional signs.

 

[DeathGrip]

If I only had a camera

 

[jlrhiner]

The last homeless guy that approached me,I handed him my french fries.He acted like I was trying to poison him.Kind of insulting ;-)

WOW! What kind of fries were they?

 

[arjay]

McD's of course.Are there any better?

 

[Damn Yankee]

I just tell them to get on the other side of the street that I'm working this side.

 

[Sebago Son]

This used to work.... not so much anymore... "Lo siento, no habla Inglés"... Now I just put some cover between them and me and reply "Samahani, sijui kuzungumza Kiingereza"... as I brisk on by.

 

[COL Jagdog]

I tell them that I am xenophobic and misanthropic if they look intelligent.

If they do not look intelligent, (which is usually the case), I ask them loudly "Can I help you?" as I take a Gracie fighting stance with both hands brought up in front in a parry/punch stance. They take a wide berth at that point.

Seriously, I have very good spatial awareness -- I check them out -- when they ask for money (which is usually the reason for a very close approach) -- I tell them that it is illegal and that I will have the police there in 30 seconds -- works magically.

 

[feralmerril]

I have no problem with it. For one thing on the job for 35 years as a lockheed guard I was habitualy dealing with all types of people all the time. At a young age I was raised in a large country general store. I was dealing with bums to execitives a lot. I have many times dealt with bums and helped them out or insulted them depending on their storys and demeaners probley all in the same day. You get a sense for it. I used to ride with my dad pedaling potatos or watermellons a lot. My mother ran a fruit stand many years and we dealt with complete strangers all the time. I never avoided anybody and had no trouble being either nicer or meaner than them. Usualy I let them lead the act I would follow up with whatever was called for.

 

[old bear]

That depends on where I am and most importantly what the person approaching me looks like and their body language. If it's someone who needs help with directions or the like I offer whatever help I can give. The second I hear the start of a *** story, they get the "look" and explain in no uncertain terms I don't have any money for them and I'm not paying for any of their gas or whatever they want.

 

[Kanewpadle]

All the bums around here in Cali are transfat and gluten free. Guess it's catching on elsewhere.

Only in Hollywood.

 

[yaktamer]

When it comes to panhandling, I pretty much NEVER give people anything. However, the other day I stop to get gas and this gal comes up to me with the "Excuse me sir, but...." and explains that she just needs some help with gas to get home on the other side of town. I'm about to say no, figuring she's scamming for $ for drugs or booze, when she says, "You can pump it yourself." She points to her truck at the next pump. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I guess I'm just getting to cynical in my old age. Anyway, I gave her some cash, she pumped her gas and drove off.

 

[feralmerril]

I know I told this one before, but I like it so dont stop me!
I assume the average age on this site is a lot less here than my 71. I was raised in centeral wisconsin in the 40s and 50s. No big citys in that area so possibly I could have got a false impression. I dont remember ever seeing a panhandler in those days. There may have been a incident or two of a bum passing through knocking on your door offering to chop wood or work for a meal. I had no experiance even seeing a panhandeler untill I came west in the 60s. When I lived in california I reconised some of the same panhandlers for a generation! I mean they worked the same area for over 10 years and better!
I have went both ways on the deal. At times I belittled and refused them, and at other times I have taken them in resturants and ate with them. I have taken them to a cheap motel and paid their rooms for a few days in advance, but overall, I have many more times refused them
any money. I guess I went by my sences of beliveability and snap judgement. I have blew up at a few.
I have had 12 year old kids ask me for money in stores that were well dressed like they expected it to buy a toy or snacks! I belive that made me even madder than older poorer bums that seemed to really need help.
Once I was entering a coffee shop for a chat with friends. A older black woman asked me for gas money so she could go pick up her chillen at school. I gave her a few bucks and silently observed she seemed old to have school age kids. My buddy saw me give her money as he waited inside for me. He asked about it than roared with laughter saying, "Ya dang fool, there aint no school open today, this is memorial day!
Once I was starting to leave my house and a lincoln mark pulled up in front. This older black guy got out, walked straight up to me and was crying. I come here to tell ya my wife died this morning! Well I am sorry to hear that, but I dont even know any black women, are ya looking for sombody else that knows her? No, she told me she had talked to you about a week ago and that yo wuz a nice christian man. ( I faintly rememberd a black woman walking by and trying to engage me in conversation about that time frame.) I had been set up! Then he asked me if he could come in my house and me pray for him! I yet hadnt put his game together, and being a christian, what do you do? I said okay, let him in and prayed with him. Then he proceeded to tell me how he had to take his kids to san diego to his sister for a week or so untill the funneral was over but didnt have gas money. He explained he was about 25 years older than his wife and they had young kids.
I said I would loan him $200 to make the trip. About 4 days later here he came again and told me he hadnt forgot the loan and was going to get some more money up to go to a pawn shop to get out his new browning 380 that his wife bought new last christmas and he never fired, and that when he bailed it out he was gonna sell it and pay me back.
Of course when he was to my house the first time he no doubt seen numerous gun magazines and books!
Larcaney took over. I had earlier once owned the same gun and knew the value. Tell ya what I will do. Heres another $100s. Go get that gun bailed out, bring it ta me, and we will square the deal.
I am still waiting for my browning .380!

 

[Onomea]

Feral, my take is you are a good man. And I believe that the good Lord will reward you.

God bless.

 

[brucev]

When approached by a stranger, I face them and speak plainly letting them know that I will not be responding to any request for money, etc. If I am accompanied by my wife, etc., I will interpose myself between them and the stranger and be prepared to act if necessary. If I am alone, I will be prepared to move to safety as I consider that a better choice than confrontation. If the stranger is acting illegally, I will let the police handle it. If forced to it, I will handle it. On two occasions in 33 years, circumstances required that I handle a situation. I managed to do so without anyone being greatly injured, etc. Happily I sustained no injuries at all. Cool. Nowadays, I use more common sense that was the case earlier in my life. I do not throw caution to the winds and just go right ahead and do as I please. I think that caution and common sense have allowed me to not have to repeat the two referenced incidents. Cool.

 

[David LaPell]

We don't have alot of people here asking for money, but the ones that do are ex-inmates so I usually spot them quick and then they leave me alone. We just had an article locally about one "celebrity" bum that when told no can get violent but yet the local judge refuses to give him any jail time even those he has chased people before when they refuse him. I had one run in him back a few years ago right after I started working for the jail. He walked up to me and asked for $10 and I told him no and he drew back like he was going to take a swing and I stepped into him and got nose to nose and gave him a few words. When I was in college I worked security part time at a new parking garage under construction and we had a large homeless population in Rutland, VT. We had one guy who carried a large butcher knife, and one day when I was working there one homeless guy didn't have the money to ride he pulled out the fat end of a fishing rod minus the reel angled to a point which would have done some real damage and almost stabbed the driver until I got into it. As I tell the wife, everyone is a threat and you never know what they are going to do so take nothing for granted.

 

[Steak]

I don't give anything to anybody period! Obuma is taking enough from me as it is.

Seriously, if Im approached and the person looks like they're up to no good according to my gut, I say "get away from me NOW!" in a very stern voice. If they look like they are just asking for change I don't even acknowledge them. Obviously, I differentiate between a lady or somone in a grocery store versus a bum in the city or someone out in a parking lot that automatically looks suspicious to me.

Im sure most of you all have seen this before. But, for those that haven't, read it and then see how you feel. I say this because a lot of "innocent" encounters on the street or in parking lots start out as asking for something.

 

[Steve in Vermont]

I agree, it depends on their posture, manner and most importantly, can I see their hands. I do not mind helping people, but if they get in my personal space or I can't see their hands, it's a problem.

Some habits never die. Even 10 years after retirement if I can't see a persons hands I'm mentally preparing for a (possible) confrontation. One other concern, if a stranger offers a handshake with his right hand and you can't see his left....decline.....which you probably should do in any case. We've talked about this before, situational awareness!!! Staying away from strangers isn't just for kids.

 

[retarmyaviator]

Darn, I must living right. I don't live in fear of strangers, we do not have panhandlers here and usually when approached by a stranger it is someone asking directions. Living in an area with many Civil War sites being asked for directions by a visitor is not uncommon.

So in answer to the original posters question, How do you react when a stranger approaches you in public? If approached with courtesy I react with courtesy.