Humor in Uniform: Part II

[Tom S.]

That's what they did way back when. There were many, many who went
in to the service to avoid jail. I think it was good for most of them. I
don't think they subscribe to that theory now? They also have to have a
high school diploma now which they didn't back then. 17 was the age
when I went in. I think it's 18 now?

It's a bit off the subject, but yes, it was quite common to offer first offenders the choice. One of the kids in my neighborhood got busted for pot. A LOT of pot, which is whole different and hilarious story in it's own right. Judge gave him the option so he went down to sign up for the Air Force. At the time, the Air Force was very choosy on who they let join, and they could be, because it was during the dust up in SE Asia, and lots of guys were trying to join. So when the kid got there, two things he was asked was if he'd ever done drugs before and had he ever been arrested. Of course he answered affirmative to both and they showed him the door. His lawyer told the judge he had fulfilled the court's obligation of attempting to enlist, and he got off. I have no doubt the judge set different terms on the next guy to come before him.

 

[walkin jack]

I gotta smile when I think back on this'n

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE COFFEE CUP?

Well, I don't have a special cup for myself but a couple of things might fit in here. When I turned 50 my daughter gave me a coffee cup that was white with yellow lettering in a black panel that said WHAT? ME, 50? Not remarkable in any way but I have kept it all these years and this year SHE hit the big 5 0. She got this cup back.
********
Every military duty station I've had since boot camp and every place I've worked I was in charge of the coffee on my shift or for my crew. I knows my way around a coffee pot you could say. I was an E-3 stationed at the clinic at Camp Schwab on "The Rock" (Okinawa) 1963.

We got a new 3rd class petty officer. He had spent the last 3 years stationed aboard a ship and when he came into the clinic he set his coffee cup down in the enlisted lounge by the coffee maker. That night as I cleaned up the area I washed his cup along with all the others.

Let me offer a little advice here. Never....NEVER EVER EVER wash a sea going sailor's coffee cup. I mean it.

He jumped me the next morning and I didn't know if I was gonna get killed or court martialed...or both. It's about the worst cussin' out I ever got. He told me, amongst a lot of other things, that the cup had never been washed with soap, only rinsed out. When I told him that from the looks of it I believed him that didn't help us bond none.

Those guys take pride in the patina in their coffee cups Anyway I promised upon pain of death to never do more than give it a quick rinse. He held it up to my face and then threw it on the floor and broke it to smytherines and gave me until 1pm to get him a new cup there and to keep my hands off of it after that.

I did and I did.

As a side note I got really drunk one night soon after the confrontation (I'd eaten a lot of watermelon just a few hours earlier) and power puked watermelon all over the guy while he was asleep in his rack. He never found out it was me.

 

[the ringo kid]

Ive heard about that "coffee cup" thing. I heard like you described that cleaning it was not the thing to go. Glad I never had that experience though. )

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

17 was the age
when I went in. I think it's 18 now?

Probably then and now, both, 17 with parents' permission, 18 without.

 

[OLDNAVYMCPO]

When I was a young Third Class, I was stationed at NAS Sanford,FL. I worked swing shift as a troubleshooter. The routine was that each evening as the shift was getting ready to be relieved by graves, we would pour the last cup of coffee into the grave shift's Leading Petty Officer's cup (unwashed) and set it on his desk before making a fresh pot. By the time he would arrive, the coffee would be rank and cold.

Every evening at quitting time, my wife would pull into the adjacent parking lot to give me a ride home. Every evening when she pulled in, she would open the car door and let my little Chihuahua dog loose. Sailor Dog would run into the shop, frantically race around greeting all the hands and then leap onto the LPO's desk and drink two or three laps of the LPO's cold coffee. This went on every night for three years. All the hands thought this was great fun since the grave shift LPO was not popular. As a postscript, I ran into this LPO four years later, by this time I out ranked him so told him about the routine. He never did believe me but he drank his coffee after my dog every night for three years.

 

[deadin]

He jumped me the next morning and I didn't know if I was gonna get killed or court martialed...or both. It's about the worst cussin' out I ever got. He told me, amongst a lot of other things, that the cup had never been washed with soap, only rinsed out. When I told him that from the looks of it I believed him that didn't help us bond none.

Those guys take pride in the patina in their coffee cups Anyway I promised upon pain of death to never do more than give it a quick rinse. He held it up to my face and then threw it on the floor and broke it to smytherines and gave me until 1pm to get him a new cup there and to keep my hands off of it after that.

This from a PO3??
If one of my Third Classes had done this he would have been picking up the pieces with his teeth. I was the LPO of the unit and handled all of the discipline problems. I wouldn't have stood for some trumped up seaman acting like this.

Of course, were it my coffee cup, that's a different story.

 

[EQGuy]

The only time I ever interacted with a General while in the Army did not go too well. We were having an inspection by the Brigadier General in charge of the Alaska Command. He came by me during the inspection and everything was fine but I relaxed too soon. A couple of minutes later I heard him in my ear behind me asking “What are you looking at soldier”? Not wanting to lie to a General I told him the truth, “the floor sir”. That did not sit to well with SSG Carter and he reamed me a good one after the inspection.

 

[rustythread]

Closest I can recall ever getting to a general was in cannoncocker school at Ft. Sill. Our training battalion (105mm towed cannons) was up on the line, in a live fire exercise. That day, my spot on the crew was as the guy who grabs the hot casing and pitches it out of the way when the gunner opens the breech after firing. So the gun goes off, I step forward to grab the casing, turn to pitch it aside, and get about six inches from hitting this Brigadier right in the crotch with it.He had ambled a bit too close, out of curiosity I suppose. He apologized for getting in my way, which saved me a real reaming from the 1st Sgt.

 

[Double-O-Dave]

My first interaction with a General Officer was brief, and fortunately, humorous. I was a young PFC (E-3) Medic that also served as a flight medic. I was visiting a buddy assigned to a hospital ward when a Major General (MG) calmly, and quietly walked onto the ward, and I was the nearest service member to him. Pavlovian reflexes being what they are, I immediately snapped to and barked : "Attention on Deck!" The MG immediately stopped walking, turned and looked at me and said: "Attention on deck? Are we in the Navy, son?" I replied: "Sorry General, I'm a flight medic". The MG thought about my response, nodded his head, and then said: "Very good, carry-on, Flight Medic". I figured I had already dodged lightning once, so I promptly snuck off of the ward before someone chewed me out for saying "deck", etc.

Regards,

Dave

 

[LostintheOzone]

I arrived at San Diego in Oct. 67, Company 595.

I'm still not sure exactly what happened there. Seems like a bad dream these days. They had a program but I never figured out what it was or how to conform to it. I was one of three in that company that were singled out as problem recruits. Took my licks and got some pretty good duty stations when it was done. Never went to sea and spent two years in North Africa. Luck of the draw.