Humor in Uniform: Part II

[OLDNAVYMCPO]

Speaking of free-fall from second story, first night in bootcamp, actually about 0200, after a night of screaming and hollering by a cadre of junior Petty Officers. Being rushed from place to place on the run, getting a mid-nite shaved head, standing in some semblance of a formation amidst all the shoving and threats. We are finally marched to an old WWII wooden barracks and assigned racks on the second floor. For some, its their first time away from home, they are scared shirtless. The barracks is filled with all kinds of weird noises as boots have nightmares, screams and crying. One young Hispanic boot from Texas, jumps up screaming and runs as fast as he can down the middle of the barrack's bay. He runs right out the door at the end of the bay and keeps running in a cartoon like free-fall. He breaks both legs and is held back until healed.

 

[steelslaver]

Quonset huts. 1971. MCRD San Diego. Lotsa stories... Ah well... Tired and drinkin Jack. LOL

Should have been in the old Corps. Same quonsets, summer of 69 when I was 17. Had my 18th birthday 2 weeks into bootcamp. No party. LOL

My brother went in the next year. He was 6'8" tall and therefor in the front of a line. First day lined up on the yellow foot prints for haircuts. (head shaves). The DI screams this line forward indicating my brothers line. He takes a step forward and the DI slammed him in the chest so hard he falls into the guy behind him and down they go. DI calmly says I change my mind, that line there.

My brother later in boot camp actually jumps the fence and goes UA. Finally after talking to me on phone turns himself in. Believe it or not some elderly woman had taken him in. He goes to Motivation Platoon where they are PTed and do various punishments constantly. They are in a circle, take a step, shovel a scoop with an e tool, take a step, shovel. Round trench gets deeper. One kid throws down his shovel and screams he isn't going to do this bleep bleep no more. DI says that fine, sit in the shade, drink some water and smoke a couple. Kid does while DI has everyone else continue to shovel. Then DI goes over and talks the kid back into the trench. He makes a round and then throws down his e tool again and starts cursing. Recruit behind him smacks him on the head with a shovel and knocks him out. Brother said that was the last time that kid quit or anyone else for that matter. Sly DIs. reward the problem. You make a mistake during close order drill and then he punishes everyone but you. NOT GOOD.

 

[Cpo1944]

You all know the "sea story Line ' But this is no s***!
After the Cuban Blockade we were back in Norfolk and had a full dress inspection with medals- there I was a 18 year old kid with two of them boy was I proud of too. Anyway a few nights before the inspection a new chief Electrician had reported aboard, so he mustered up with the rest of us EM`s . The Captain came up to the chief and asked Chief didn`t you get the word this inspection is with medals?
The Chief replied but Captain I have no medals. The Captain asked how a man could serve in this mans Navy long enough to make Chief and not win a medal? The Chief replied he just came into the Navy only a year ago and was based in Pensacola working on aircraft and was brought in as a chief because of his special skills. WELL just at that critical moment a Laughing Gull flew over and deposited the biggest load of used fish right down the left side of the Chief`s Jacket it splatted beautifully . The Captain dryly said " Well you got one now Chief"!
the unable to be restraint laughter was un-bearable and here it is 50 years later and I still laugh when I remember it.
Sadly that Chief -we found out later was a dismal failure in Pensacola and thats why they transferred him to the Fleet- HUGH MISTAKE- he was even worse on my Destroyer and I don't think he lasted a month and was suddenly gone with no explanation.
Poor guy should have stayed a civilian.Maybe thats where he went from my ship.

 

[e3mrk]

When I was in Boot Camp at MCRD San Diego(19740) We were out on a night training exorcise(compass reading class) and after it got dark some of the others decided to hide under a Tree and have a smoke. I saw one of the Drill Instructors take a Cover(hat) from a Private and He joined in and those morons were even badmouthing the D.I. I would have given anything to see Their faces when They realized the D.I. was right there with Them.


There are so many funny stories about Boot Camp (like when the Platoon Commander gave Me a black eye) that there is not room to tell them all.

 

[M E Morrison]

You all know the "sea story Line ' But this is no s***!
After the Cuban Blockade we were back in Norfolk and had a full dress inspection with medals- there I was a 18 year old kid with two of them boy was I proud of too. Anyway a few nights before the inspection a new chief Electrician had reported aboard, so he mustered up with the rest of us EM`s . The Captain came up to the chief and asked Chief didn`t you get the word this inspection is with medals?
The Chief replied but Captain I have no medals. The Captain asked how a man could serve in this mans Navy long enough to make Chief and not win a medal? The Chief replied he just came into the Navy only a year ago and was based in Pensacola working on aircraft and was brought in as a chief because of his special skills. WELL just at that critical moment a Laughing Gull flew over and deposited the biggest load of used fish right down the left side of the Chief`s Jacket it splatted beautifully . The Captain dryly said " Well you got one now Chief"!
the unable to be restraint laughter was un-bearable and here it is 50 years later and I still laugh when I remember it.
Sadly that Chief -we found out later was a dismal failure in Pensacola and thats why they transferred him to the Fleet- HUGH MISTAKE- he was even worse on my Destroyer and I don't think he lasted a month and was suddenly gone with no explanation.
Poor guy should have stayed a civilian.Maybe thats where he went from my ship.

What ship was that?

 

[Cpo1944]

What ship was that?

USS Stormes DD-780

 

[M E Morrison]

USS Stormes DD-780

Thanks for the reply.
I was on the Southerland, DD-743.

 

[model70hunter]

Should have been in the old Corps. Same quonsets, summer of 69 when I was 17. Had my 18th birthday 2 weeks into bootcamp. No party. LOL

My brother went in the next year. He was 6'8" tall and therefor in the front of a line. First day lined up on the yellow foot prints for haircuts. (head shaves). The DI screams this line forward indicating my brothers line. He takes a step forward and the DI slammed him in the chest so hard he falls into the guy behind him and down they go. DI calmly says I change my mind, that line there.

My brother later in boot camp actually jumps the fence and goes UA. Finally after talking to me on phone turns himself in. Believe it or not some elderly woman had taken him in. He goes to Motivation Platoon where they are PTed and do various punishments constantly. They are in a circle, take a step, shovel a scoop with an e tool, take a step, shovel. Round trench gets deeper. One kid throws down his shovel and screams he isn't going to do this bleep bleep no more. DI says that fine, sit in the shade, drink some water and smoke a couple. Kid does while DI has everyone else continue to shovel. Then DI goes over and talks the kid back into the trench. He makes a round and then throws down his e tool again and starts cursing. Recruit behind him smacks him on the head with a shovel and knocks him out. Brother said that was the last time that kid quit or anyone else for that matter.


Sly DIs. reward the problem. You make a mistake during close order drill and then he punishes everyone but you. NOT GOOD.

And I think the other fellas meted out the punishment. The DI only showed everyone who to straighten out.

 

[crazyphil]

In STRIPES I liked the scene in the latrine. (Hey I'm a poet)
Sgt. Hulka (Warren Oates) had a "discussion" with
John (Bill Murray). It didn't end well for John.
I could kinda relate to that. At 17 I thought I was tough. I found out
the Sergeant knows stuff.

 

[steveno]

there was a guy in the radio shop that had a sister and her husband that lived in Wurzburg with the army. he went down to see them for the weekend. well Monday comes around and he doesn't show up for work for the swing shift. Tuesday comes around and he shows up late. so rather go through all of the trouble for an article 15 there is a lot less paperwork if you make him airman of the week. that means you have to get up every morning bright and early for different meetings with the brass and other squadron meetings in dress blues. he also had to work his normal swing which meant staying until the airplanes were fixed or stuff on order. lesson learned because he was always back on time from then on

 

[Old 44 Guy]

Camp Roberts, Ca. June 1951. I was 19 & scared of my Sgt. was a cruel guy. We had a FU if you know what I mean. A red head that didn't bath regular. We had run a operation over a burned hilltop & valley. We were glad to be back & shower. The redhead slept till chow. I went down to the C.O. office to mail a letter to my folks. I heard the old man yelling to all the NCO's. "Either that redheaded *** gets a shower, shave & a hair cut by this time tomorrow or we will have a lot of NCO's the next day". I started back to my barracks & passed by the head. I heard some screaming & looked in. Six NCO's had the guy down, all shower heads were full blast. They had GI yellow soap, a razor, a single edge blade, sissiors & several GI bristle brushes & were GI'ing him all over. Giving him a shave, haircut & shaving off half of his scrawny mustache. Never saw him again

 

[STCM(SW)]

Company 293, 1960, Great Lakes.
Don't remember too much except the guys shouting out as we entered
"Your be sorry!"
CC was a ABM 1st class.
Two jobs I said I would never do, Boot Pusher & recruiting....

BTW, my wife was in Navy Recruiting for 2 or 3 years.
I went along and forgave her....

 

[Cpo1944]

I too remember the "touchy feely" Navy when a Petty Officer would box your ears for some offense or other. We even had a Bosun who had a "Starter" anyone remember them?
I only got roughed up a few times , but I believe it did make me a better sailor .
Is it time to bring back"The Rocks & Shoals"???

 

[crazyphil]

Where it not for my time in the military I don't think I would be worth a
damn. As it is I am worth a damn.

 

[M E Morrison]

I too remember the "touchy feely" Navy when a Petty Officer would box your ears for some offense or other. We even had a Bosun who had a "Starter" anyone remember them?
I only got roughed up a few times , but I believe it did make me a better sailor .
Is it time to bring back"The Rocks & Shoals"???

Starter? what was that? guess they did away with them by 1967.....

 

[Tom S.]

Not my story, but true nonetheless.

My former brother-in-law got into legal problems in the early 60's in Detroit and was offered the choice of jail or service. He chose the army. While in boot camp, the recruits were circled around a sergeant who was going to give a demonstration on self defense. Just as portrayed in the movies, he asked if there was anyone who thought they could beat him, and my former brother-in-law raised his hand. Unlike the movies, he beat the sergeant up pretty good, as he had a brown belt in karate. A few days later, he was paid back when a bunch of sergeants threw a blanket over him and beat the snot out of him. Still, he said it was worth it.

Also, the sergeant had a VW bug, which was fairly rare in those days. BIL and a few cohorts lifted it and put it in the "V" of a tree on the base. Luckily, none of them got caught for that one.

 

[GUNMIKE]

Humor

Another story for the books.
My brothers, brother inlaw got in trouble and the judge said he could join the military or go to jail. Needless to say he joined the Navy. 32 hears later {two years ago} he retired as a Command Master Chief in the Seals. Good decision following a bad one.

 

[Cpo1944]

Starter? what was that? guess they did away with them by 1967.....

A "Starter" was a home made switch kind of mini whip, which was used to get you started if you took too long to jump to a command.
It was almost certainly out lawed long before my time , but there were still some "Old Salts" who got away with using them.
I almost got it once , but I was quick enough to run away from it.

 

[M E Morrison]

A "Starter" was a home made switch kind of mini whip, which was used to get you started if you took too long to jump to a command.
It was almost certainly out lawed long before my time , but there were still some "Old Salts" who got away with using them.
I almost got it once , but I was quick enough to run away from it.

OK, thanks. I never saw one, so that is just as well!

 

[crazyphil]

That's what they did way back when. There were many, many who went
in to the service to avoid jail. I think it was good for most of them. I
don't think they subscribe to that theory now? They also have to have a
high school diploma now which they didn't back then. 17 was the age
when I went in. I think it's 18 now?