Being a resident of the Worker's Paradise known as the Democratic People's Republic of Illinois, I haven't been carrying all that long. But after reading this very thoughtful thread, I had a few thoughts of my own.
1. Harrychristopher's experience with numb fingers really hits home with me, and the possible loss of dexterity in a defensive situation is why I've switched to all DAO semi-autos with external hammers.
When I first started to carry, I figured I would use a standard DA/SA. But a couple of classes and dry-fire practice at home have convinced me that dealing with a safety is an added complication I don't want to worry about. One time fumbling with the safety may be all you get.
So, with the DAO, I get whatever round capacity I want, depending on which "revolver with a magazine" I choose to use. In my case, that's 8 to 17 rounds. Plus, all my defensive handguns work pretty much identically: Get the sights on target, pull the trigger.
Additionally, I like the external hammer as I can keep my thumb on the hammer as I holster for an additional safety factor.
2. I also have a Ruger LCR snubby in .38, and I have found that quality lead full wadcutters from Winchester, Remington, or Federal have relatively low recoil, and probably enough energy to be useful. I shoot those very well, they're not too expensive, and follow up shots can be quick.
When I've had someone tell me that I should be using something a lot more powerful, my reply is that my job is not to deprive someone of their liberty or their life, but simply to break contact and make-it-stop or escape.
3. I wish I could find a modern polymer DAO with external hammer semi-auto, but I don't think anyone makes anything like that anymore. Having the DAO advantages in a plastic gun would be nice, my bigger all metal guns are tanks but heavy. I'm going to need suspenders to carry so my britches don't fall down.