Interpreting the female language...

[Salty RI]

I used to like getting my wife mad at me, she would get her Isish temper up and wouldn't talk to me for weeks, I'd come home from work eat dinner, go out and have a few beer's, go fishing, take the hounds out in the woods for a run, go to the club and shoot some trap, I was havng a grand ol time, finally she would start talking to me again, I would wait a few weeks and do it all over again, finally it dawned on her that I was enjoying this, now when I say something that will P her off, she just looks at me and smiles, well last month we had our 50th, something must be working.

 

[carpriver]

A couple of years ago I had planned on going to the range to relax and shoot some of my firearms. I had mentioned it to my loving wife the day before, I know I did, as any good husband would do. So on the morning in question I eat my breakfast, excuse myself and grab my range bag and gun cases from NEXT to the garage door and say I'll be back around lunch time. That's when the plan hit the fan. She wanted me to go help her pick out some paint for the bedroom, which had been painted just the year before. I attempted to remind her of my afore mentioned morning at the range and to tell what ever color she picked would be fine with me. She gave me the HUFF and said Whatever. So I went to the range. When I returned it was like an iceberg had moved into the home. So I asked what the problem was. I heard how I didn't love her, I would rather spend time alone then with her, and I had no interest in our home. Then the fat hit the fan again when I remained her that she said I should do Whatever.

We have been married for 46 years, we don't fight often and enjoy the time we spend together. we also understand the need to have time for ourselves. I had forgotten about the part of having time to myself when she wants to do something she wants. Did reminded her that whatever means go head do what you want. So now when I am confused about something my bride says sometimes I place the first 2 fingers of both my hands to the my temples and said I am not a mind reader I do not see what you are saying. She normally laughs and tell me in clean sentences that a man can understand. Length of time being married does little to clear up women's language.

 

[radar1972]

42 years in May.

Success = "Yes, Dear."

 

[Hillbilly77]

 

[BobC357]

If I ever tried to comprehend how women think, I'd go crazy myself. They make no sense, expect you to read their minds (which are mostly mush anyway) and then change their minds faster than they can complete their request that they want you to do. Nope, I won't even try. If you take it seriously, you'll just go mad.

Just sit back and enjoy the show. It's always entertaining. Besides, you'll never know what they will come up with next. That's why I love my wife -- 100% unpredictable even when there's only one correct way to do something.

----- just now ----
Wife: Did you feed the dogs?
Me: No.
Wife: When you feed the dogs, don't give them too much.
Me: OK
...5 minutes pass and I'm feeding the dogs...
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Feeding the dogs like you asked me to do.
Wife: NOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I JUST FED THEM!!!
Me: Sorry, they said they were hungry. Why did you feed them and then ask me to?
Wife: Evil stare -- silence.

 

[smokindog]

I guess I should have mentioned how appropriate this thread is. Today is our anniversary, .... "Yes dear, where ever you'd like to go, uh huh, mmmm, yup, anytime works, yep!"

 

[Arik]

I love this! I have strict rules for these questions. They are very simple. Don't beat around the bush. If you have a question ask it. I will answer honestly and don't read into it past the actual verbal response. If you want to hear that this looks good on you just tell me. If you ask I will give my thoughts on it. We are not in pre school anymore. Act like an adult. If you get mad that I gave the wrong response you can either take a long hike of a very short and very high ridge .......or don't ask.i know this sounds somewhat harsh but I'm tired of having my day and mood ruined because I'm not a mind reader. I'm the same when it comes to the toilet seat. If I can pick it up, you are capable of putting it down. If you want to make a big deal out of it you're not going to win. Instead I will gladly Google one way directions for you to that ridge.

And yes I'm not married.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

 

[Engineer1911]

We just did the "lunch after church thing". She was driving.

I have no postable civil thoughts, but its only been 8 years. Some things aren't important, somethings are very important. ENOUGH ! ! !

 

[Murphy's Law]

My wife asked me to take her some where she's been before. I told her how about "The Kitchen". It goes without saying, not a good move on my part!

 

[Engineer1911]

Arik: Some place there is a really lucky woman who isn't your wife, and she doesn't even know how lucky she is!

 

[shouldazagged]

Despite smug smiles and the impression of omniscience, they don't really understand us either, and we aren't much simpler than they are.

It's a little comfort.

Vive la difference!

 

[imashooter2]

I don't have enormous trouble interpreting what I am told. The problem I have is mine is firmly convinced that she has told me things she has never said.

 

[Arik]

Arik: Some place there is a really luck woman who isn't your wife, and she doesn't even know how lucky she is!

Lmao! Probably true.

In reality I'm laid back easy going, a big goof of. I hardly ever take things seriously and I can get along with just about everyone. I don't get jealous. But the one thing that drives me nuts is having to play mind games and getting into arguments because someone said "A" but ment "7". NO! I'm in titled to my opinions and if I say that something doesn't look good it's because I don't think it looks good.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

 

[vonn]

Seems like mine is nicer to me the older I get,think she is afraid I kick off with out her permission.(said with a smile)

 

[Mule Packer]

My marriage became a hundred times smoother when I finally realized that there is a BIG difference between labor and management. I'm labor...she's management.

As long as I remember that, things go great!

 

[5BeansintheWheel]

Maybe this'll help...

She emailed this picture to me some years back. She said the setting changes hourly but I keep dialing the same old tune.


Patrick

 

[BaldEagle1313]

Some men will say they understand women. We call those guys "liars", or perhaps "delusional."

Dictionary terms men don't get.


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an
argument when they are right and you need to shut
up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this
means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around
the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you should be on your
toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually
end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.
Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a
non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back
to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most
dangerous statements a women can make to a man.
That's okay means she wants to think long and
hard before deciding how and when you will pay
for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not
question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I
want to add in a clause here - This is true,
unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE
sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO
NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a
"whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW
YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another
dangerous statement, meaning this is something
that a woman has told a man to do several times,
but is now doing it herself. This will later
result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the
woman's response refer to # 3.

 

[silentflyer]

Been divorced 25 years, have some lady friends, but no problem with the understanding them deal. If I don't and they chose to make a big deal out of it, it won't be an issue with one again. Life is too short.

 

[indiandave]

I saw a sticker on a motorcycle helmet once. It said "the more I learn about women, the more I love my Harley".
Bet he's not married. LOL!

 

[the ringo kid]

Happened with me twice in a week with two different women.

Last week my ex-girlfriend wanted to go out and eat dinner. She asked me where would I like to go? Figuring that was a trap of sorts, I suggested The Cracker Barrel Restaurant since I was in the mood for breakfast of sorts. We were maybe a mile away and she goes: "Im in the mood for a Chinese Buffet--what do you think?" Trying to keep the peace, I said: "Thats fine by me but that I wasnt super hungry, but id go." Im not a fan of pig-out places-aint good for the waistline.

Jenny goes: "But I really feel like having Chinese food." I said: "Thats ok by me-I hsavent had any since The Mandarin Garden--closed its doors several months ago and could use a different kind of food."

Jenny: "No....I changed my mind--I want to eat at The Cracker Barrel." We drove by it heading to the Chinese pig out joint was very near the place and drove ever further to het back to our original destination.

The other with the 2nd woman--which happened on Wednesday--was one of those "mind-reading things.

BTW, she admitted that eating at TCB, was the best decision I made that day.