inviting yourself along...

Leeroy151

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so, i am at work, night shift. my friend is rattling on about how he and his buddy from out of town are going out shooting. i invite myself along and kinda find out maybe i wasn't invited. the word was i'll call you in the early afternoon and tell you where we're gonna be.
so, i go home, take a nap, get out the guns. wait around all day...no call. so, i just did yard work. was mad, now sad. there must be something wrong with me. even the wife doesn't like me right now and i am not sure why.
 
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so, i am at work, night shift. my friend is rattling on about how he and his buddy from out of town are going out shooting. i invite myself along and kinda find out maybe i wasn't invited. the word was i'll call you in the early afternoon and tell you where we're gonna be.
so, i go home, take a nap, get out the guns. wait around all day...no call. so, i just did yard work. was mad, now sad. there must be something wrong with me. even the wife doesn't like me right now and i am not sure why.
 
I will attribute to at best, forgetfulness, though I really think it's bad manners.
 
Yep, it sounds like a case of time for old buddies to reconnect and he probably didn't want to spoil it by having a third wheel around. Maybe you should have just said you love a good day of shooting which would have left him open to invite you.

Bill
 
Originally posted by BLACKHAWKNJ:
I will attribute to at best, forgetfulness, though I really think it's bad manners .
On whose part? In my opinion it is bad form to invite oneself anywhere, much less to a reunion of a couple of old buddies. I don't think that there is anything wrong with the OP... he just wasn't invited. Perhaps next time.
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Ahh... the old "I'll call ya" slip.
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Just be nice when you see him next and say, "You guys have a good time? Great!" and drop it. Whatever you do, don't sulk and don't ask "Why didn't you call me?"
 
Yeah, the guy should've just told you it was a buddy thing BUT you can't really get upset if you invited yourself. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything because then you put the guy on the spot. Kinda like seeing that girl you didn't call after the 1st date. Don't add anymore discomfort. If HE brings it up then you can use Barb's line and maybe you'll get invited to the next range trip.
 
Tell them since they did not call, you and another friend went and shot M-16s, a Thompson sub and a Browning BAR. They could have told you it was just a buddy thing but then I never invite myself.
 
I wouldn't read too much into it. How well did you know this friend? Have you gone shooting with him before?

No offense to you, but some folks are VERY careful about who they go shooting with. No one wants to get to the range only to discover that their shooting partner does not follow safe gun handling practices, is rude and arrogant to other shooters, etc. Being a co-worker makes this very touchy, since if there is some sort of a falling out, you still have to work together.

I wouldn't say anything for a week or so, then casually bring up what type of shooting you like to do, what range you go to, etc. See if you can find a time he wants to go. If he doesn't act interested, you have your answer.
 
Touchy situation. Since you don't provide details like "this guy and I go shooting all the time" or "well, I've never gone with him before and just kind of invited myself along", it's hard to say.

Range time for me is so little and far in between visits at times, if I have a buddy that I don't get to see very often who proposes a range day, I look on it as much as a time to catch up with an old friend as much as a shooting opportunity and to tell the truth, am not unhappy if we have the place all to ourselves with no tag-a-longs. Then at times, going as a 'group' lends itself to an enjoyable day.

Like I said, depends on how familiar you are with your 'buddy' at work. Unintentionally folks sometimes assume too much, though I would not myself make a big deal out of broadcasting around the office I was heading to the range if I didn't care for company tagging along.

In these situations there usually isn't something "wrong" with somebody, but assuming you're welcome to go by inviting yourself to lunch, to the range, to a wedding, or a party is a sure way to set yourself up for hurt feelings. Looking back, I know I have encountered a lot of otherwise nice people that just pushed too hard or tried too hard and I tended to back away from them. As awkward as it would have been to say "gee, that sounds like fun, I'd sure like to make a trip to the range" and then not be invited, it's more awkward now since you admitted your feelings are hurt and that is something you and your work buddy have to deal with if you are to stay on good terms.

To paraphrase something read long ago, 'what we would give to see ourselves as others see us.'
 
If somebody says they'll call you and they don't, that's bad manners. If they want to keep it private, an old buddy thing, I think they can tell you in a tactful and polite way.
I like this definition of a gentleman:
"Someone who can insult you to your face and have you take it as a compliment."
 
Originally posted by parallel:
Originally posted by BLACKHAWKNJ:
I will attribute to at best, forgetfulness, though I really think it's bad manners .
On whose part? In my opinion it is bad form to invite oneself anywhere, much less to a reunion of a couple of old buddies. I don't think that there is anything wrong with the OP... he just wasn't invited. Perhaps next time.
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Amen! I have no problem dropping a hint, like "Man, I haven't been shooting in a coon's age!" But if the invitation isn't extended, I'm not invited, and to invite myself along is just plain rude. I wouldn't have responded as those guys did -- they were trying to be polite. I'd just say, "You ain't invited."
 
Amen! I have no problem dropping a hint, like "Man, I haven't been shooting in a coon's age!" But if the invitation isn't extended, I'm not invited, and to invite myself along is just plain rude. I wouldn't have responded as those guys did -- they were trying to be polite. I'd just say, "You ain't invited."

they were trying to be polite? not really...i much prefer "you ain't invited" to "i'll call and let you know where we're gonna be." (makes me expect to be included and get prepared and wait-the hardest part).
this is the end of discussion for me...thanks guys.
 
I got into shooting by "inviting ourselves"...

Was in the USA on business and my boss invited us along with one of the guys we were working with.

I liked it so much I managed to invite myself along the next weekend without the boss ;-)
 
Go reread Berb's post for a woman's perspective of what a man means when he says "i'll call ya". It is an extremely accurate statement.
 

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