The J frame, especially the lightweight alloy framed ones, are a challenge to consistently shoot well. They demand practice and dedication to make their extra heavy factory trigger work without moving the gun around during the trigger stroke.
I've found with a little aftermarket trigger work and plenty of dry and live fire practice, I can generally hit what I intend to. These light gun are still "snappy" with +P rounds and run dry pretty quick compared to today's modern high-capacity wonders.
One other thought on the lightweight J frames... Unlike the generic internet "wisdom", I advise AGAINST giving one to the wife, girlfriend, or daughter. Yes, they are easy to carry and simple to operate, however they have left more than one new shooter with the thought that shooting isn't much fun.
Their snappy recoil is even snappier for smaller shooters, the flash and blast from the short barrel can be alarming, the short sight radius is hard to hit with, and the long heavy double action trigger pull isn't any lighter for smaller, weaker hands. Pick a compact or sub-compact semi-auto in 9mm and you'll have a new shooter who leaves the range with a smile.
Maybe the OP needs to try a mid-sized 9mm??
Just one man's opinion.
Edmo