Home defense?
Home defense bullets vary based on your situation. A farmer with a bull fenced-in might have a large rifle in case it gets loose and threatens someone. When I was a city kid in 1940's my mother, who was raised rural, outside Des Moines had advice about farm animals. The Bull she said - still kills more farmers than any other animal.
The other extreme might be living in a city condominium or apartment with thin walls, and people all around you. Something small might be the order of the day, for the safety of the neighbors, behind the thin walls.
So far my new town has had no crime. Not in the six years I have been here. They say about 8 years ago a family with delinquent kids moved in. One night the kids walked down the street taking the ignition keys out of several vehicles. It caused quite a fuss the next morning when several people got in cars and could not start them. Fortunately most people have two sets. People stopped leaving keys in cars but still seldom lock doors, for a few years. Then the oil boom began. Lots of strangers following the new gold rush mentality. One lady was out jogging in a town a couple hundred miles north-west. She was raped and murdered. Women all over this state began carrying pepper spray and such.
My main handgun is still a J frame S&W with round nose lead bullets. Lead bullets go down the barrel with less resistance so just a little bit more velocity for a given barrel length. I sold my model 19 .357 years ago and miss it very much. You could load it as light as one wishes or load it up. My 40 semi auto is reliable but you cannot load it down for ear safety indoors. I am most concerned about keeping what little hearing I have left.
Let your conscience be your guide. I am a little outside of town. One night my first year I heard the coyotes came in pretty close. I had deer and rabbits back in my trees. Every summer at least one deer would come in to hide and give birth. I bought a lever action 22 mag and lever action 30-30. No coyotes are going to get my latest baby deer. Times are always changing. (I have other guns in safe).