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My Dad was fond of saying "He couldn't pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the heel"...
Old Sayings
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bamabiker
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I got dinged the last time I shared some sayings so I'll just sit here and read y'alls.
"You never score high by aiming low"
He would starve to death if you hid his food stamps under his work boots.
My gf teaches molecular biology & genetics at university. Her model organism is the fruit fly (drosophila melanogaster.) She told that one in class one day and one of the students didn't get it
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet"
(Abe Lincoln)
(Abe Lincoln)
1. Reply to "You shoulda...., etc." - Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his --- when he walked.
2. Men, you don't have to like it; you just have to do it.
3. What's the hardest thing about work? Thinking about it, so let's get started.
4. You stink like a billy goat (overheard addressed to a coworker whose personal hygiene was notoriously lacking).
2. Men, you don't have to like it; you just have to do it.
3. What's the hardest thing about work? Thinking about it, so let's get started.
4. You stink like a billy goat (overheard addressed to a coworker whose personal hygiene was notoriously lacking).
From my Mother, Something's rotten in Denmark
Can't never did anything
Mouth like a whippoorwill's *** in chokecherry time
Her opinion of "10 cent millionaires" , If it cost a dime to take a piss, they'd have to hold it.
She was a woman of few words but had some zingers.
Can't never did anything
Mouth like a whippoorwill's *** in chokecherry time
Her opinion of "10 cent millionaires" , If it cost a dime to take a piss, they'd have to hold it.
She was a woman of few words but had some zingers.
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Even older than your mother!
Hamlet Act 1, scene 4, 87–91
HORATIO: He [Hamlet] waxes desperate with imagination.
MARCELLUS: Let's follow. 'tis not fit thus to obey him.
HORATIO: Have after. To what issue will this come?
MARCELLUS: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
HORATIO: Heaven will direct it.
MARCELLUS: Nay, let's follow him.
Exeunt.
HORATIO: He [Hamlet] waxes desperate with imagination.
MARCELLUS: Let's follow. 'tis not fit thus to obey him.
HORATIO: Have after. To what issue will this come?
MARCELLUS: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
HORATIO: Heaven will direct it.
MARCELLUS: Nay, let's follow him.
Exeunt.
BLACKHAWKNJ
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From the MAD Magazine Shakespeare primer:
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
That's not surprising-they didn't have refrigerators then.
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
That's not surprising-they didn't have refrigerators then.
One of my dad's favorites was something was "better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick".
One of my favorites is "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him think." As I grow older, I seem to use it more.
One of my favorites is "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him think." As I grow older, I seem to use it more.
Lonegle57
Member
My Dad was good for the following:
Many hands make light work.
Once the job has begun, never leave it until it's done, may the job be big or small, do it well or not at all.
It wont be long now, said the monkey as it's tail went thru the lawn mower, it won't be long now.
Many hands make light work.
Once the job has begun, never leave it until it's done, may the job be big or small, do it well or not at all.
It wont be long now, said the monkey as it's tail went thru the lawn mower, it won't be long now.
Have a plan
Have a back up plan
Plan to modify or abandon both if they aren't working
Which goes with you can plan forever and still have nothing till you actually start to do the work
Have a back up plan
Plan to modify or abandon both if they aren't working
Which goes with you can plan forever and still have nothing till you actually start to do the work
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CAJUNLAWYER
Member
Can't make chicken salad out of chicken.......feathers
As someone with wet AMD who has been getting eye injections for 5 years, that kinda rings a bell
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Too dumb to pour piss out of a boot with directions printed on the bottom.
With reference to the worm & bird thing: That worm didn't get up earlier than the bird, he was on his way home from an all night party.
With reference to the worm & bird thing: That worm didn't get up earlier than the bird, he was on his way home from an all night party.
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