Phrases you like to use!

[mtgianni]

In response to the idiots line "I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you" : Hey don't go thinking your the first to try it, you ain't exactly getting a virgin in that department.

 

[trapper704]

When asked how I am, I reply great I'
m still on the right side of the sod.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

If BS was dollar bills he would be the richest man in the world. Also "You stepped in What?"

 

[Stu Honea]

Ever since I found out girls don't have weenies,nothing surprises me anymore.

 

[Moosie]

Do you ever pull your head out of your *** long enough to breathe?

 

[skeetshooter]

When asked how I am ? MY RESPONSE IS:
Finer than Frog Hair !

 

[ogilvyspecial]

Chester, on an early episode of Marshall Dillon, said one that I'll probably use in the future.

"I've seen people who've been kicked in the head that makes more sense than he does."

 

[sierra255]

When talking guns and using them on or off duty, mine are:
1. There are no second place winners.....coined by Bill Jordan
2. A dead man cannot testify against you in court.....

 

[Capt Steve]

After being cut off twice and nearly hit once I was expressing my dismay at a woman's lack of driving skills:

She: I think you are rude!

Me: I think you are stupid. Now assuming we are both correct, tomorrow I have the option of being polite.

 

[M29since14]

You remember the story of Churchill's encounter with Lady Astor, don't you?

 

[Old Corp]

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

 

[Marshwheeling]

You remember the story of Churchill's encounter with Lady Astor, don't you?

Topped only by Dr. Samuel Johnson:
"You flatter yourself, Madam; it's hanging out."

 

[rocketdog]

Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

For the love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10)

On seeing or hearing of someone doing something really stupid, "It's a guy thing." Which sort of goes along with, "Hold my beer and watch this."

 

[semperfi71]

"You've got you head so far up your 'rear-end', you need a window for a belt buckle." My long ago ATC instructor to me.

"When you take an easy job and make it harder, its time to quit."

 

[Pistolpete1969]

When asked how I am today, my usual reply is:

If I was any better they would have to up my meds and put me in a padded cell.

That usually shuts 'em up...

 

[CW Spook]

Normalno...
Nevazhno...
Chto??

 

[Bevo1]

Put your hands behind your back.

 

[LTC]

The only differance between this project and the Titanic is.... the Titanic had a band.

LTC

 

[Rawhyde]

Teaching him how to do ______ would be like teaching a monkey to fly a Learjet.

 

[lawandorder]

"I haven't had this much fun since the Hogs ate my little Brother".

 

[blujax01]

When asked how I am:
"Better than some - not as good as others."

Borrowed from the 90's Nickelodeon cartoon Rugrats:
"As Bob is my witless..."

When reminded that "There is no "I" in team", I have been known to respond:
"But there is in "Idiot". (Teams tend to leave me alone ...)

And from a Canadian friend of mine, used when concluding a set of instructions:
"First you do A then B and then Bob's Your Uncle." I have no clue what it means but I use it anyway.

 

[labworm]

Since I retired 11 years ago.

I constantly say: WHAT'S THE RUSH

 

[kraigwy]

The middle name of Life is IF.

Sin Loi

 

[Jhp147]

About people who have an inflated idea of how smart, good looking, or hard working they are (usually all three): I'd like to buy that boy for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth.
And in response to whiners that complain about something not being "fair": Fair is my least favorite 4-letter F word.