I've been dating an awsome woman for many months who is quite beautiful, caring, loving, giving, and intelligent. She is an accounting mangager for a defense contractor and she is very polished in her professional appearance and her communication. There is however, one thing that bugs me a little about her. In conversation she will use the phrase "I seen" instead of saying "I saw", as in "I was driving home and I seen this stray dog". I know some regions of the U.S. may consider this acceptable local grammar, but it strikes me as poor grammar. Now I love this gal enough that she could talk like Porky The Pig and I would still be glad to keep her, but it does bug me a little and I wonder if it would hinder her climb up the professional ladder. Any thoughts on how/if to tell her?
Poor grammar?
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mstuhr
Member
Howdy
Hi Farmer,
You asked so here is my two cents.
I dont think there are many relationships anywhere that a person isn't better off to overlook some things.
She might be grateful you brought it up, or she might react as if you told her that she has a big butt and dresses funny.
If she is all those things you say to you I'd focus on them and let it be.
Good luck
Mike
Hi Farmer,
You asked so here is my two cents.
I dont think there are many relationships anywhere that a person isn't better off to overlook some things.
She might be grateful you brought it up, or she might react as if you told her that she has a big butt and dresses funny.
If she is all those things you say to you I'd focus on them and let it be.
Good luck
Mike
pete-driver
Member
Tim Wilson did a song about this. He still seems happy.
YouTube - Tim Wilson - I Married a Woman Who Talks like Jerry Reed
YouTube - Tim Wilson - I Married a Woman Who Talks like Jerry Reed
Part "briar" added to your list of excellent qualities that she exudes, hain't that bad! 
rags
rags
george minze
Member
Heck be a man and tell her about your displeasure with her speech. Then go to some library and find a dumpy book worm to date....Are you nuts or are you just trying to twist our tails. I'll bet you would want to comment on her cooking to.....Not at my house, I love domestic tranquility. I'll bet you don't like Reba 's twank ether????
if it bothers you their are other problems that you are not talking about . if she has all the abilities to hold the position's you say then you best get over her grammer or leave . Or did i mean grama
BarbC
Member
You can't say anything.
My husband Charlie was a blue-collar Ford assembly line worker who said "ain't" and "supposably", "I seen" and a slew of double-negatives and everything else and I figured during the first month we dated that he'd just be a good time for the time being, but here we are 10 years later and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Oh and by the way - if corporate felt it was a problem, they would tell her. You keep out of it but be supportive in a constructive manner if they do bring it up ("I know childhood speech habits are hard to break but if this is what they want, and if you're determined to get ahead with them, then you'll have to make that effort").
And maybe corporate likes her just the way she is because she comes across as genuine and sincere.
Stay out of it unless you're dragged in kicking and screaming. And then be as gentle and supportive as you can. Women despise criticism. Trust me.
My husband Charlie was a blue-collar Ford assembly line worker who said "ain't" and "supposably", "I seen" and a slew of double-negatives and everything else and I figured during the first month we dated that he'd just be a good time for the time being, but here we are 10 years later and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Oh and by the way - if corporate felt it was a problem, they would tell her. You keep out of it but be supportive in a constructive manner if they do bring it up ("I know childhood speech habits are hard to break but if this is what they want, and if you're determined to get ahead with them, then you'll have to make that effort").
And maybe corporate likes her just the way she is because she comes across as genuine and sincere.
Stay out of it unless you're dragged in kicking and screaming. And then be as gentle and supportive as you can. Women despise criticism. Trust me.
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OP
I've dated her 8 months and if that's the worse thing I can find to complain about her, then I'd be so happy I'd do cartwheels with a sparkler in my butt. I mainly was just wondering if it would hurt her in the corporate workplace since she is seeking some pretty high level management positions.
TNDixieGirl
Member
Hearing "I seen" bugs the life out of me too. You aren't alone. Whether you say anything about it or not is totally up to you.
35Rem
Member
THAT was funny! I love Tim Wilson. He's a nut!
back on topic...that type of stuff makes me nuts, too. Spelling is another. My wife is a member of "Bad Spellers of the World Untie."
I kid her about it, but she isn't a professional, either. It would hurt her career if she were.
That's a tough one. Depends on how good you two get along as to whether you should try to correct it. I think I would.
5_Is_Alive
Member
Some pretty humorous responses here. 
My 2 cents goes something like this:
If in conversation she happens to say the phrase in question, kindly say, "I love the way to talk..."
When she asks what you mean, just tell her that you love the way she says "I seen" instead of "I saw." Then at least she's aware of it. I wouldn't take it much further than that...
Jason
My 2 cents goes something like this:
If in conversation she happens to say the phrase in question, kindly say, "I love the way to talk..."
When she asks what you mean, just tell her that you love the way she says "I seen" instead of "I saw." Then at least she's aware of it. I wouldn't take it much further than that...
Jason
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it could hinder her professionally...i would tell her...as you relate she is great in all aspects,then i suspect she would appreciate something that could very well help her
rburg
Member
I grew up in a family where any infraction was called on the spot. I have tortured views on it now. My long time gun show buddy had a wife who was an English teacher. He got away with nothing. It was pretty funny to watch, and she occasionally was tempted to correct me. I didn't care or mind.
But after a weekend of John and I being together, I always managed to get him to relax and talk like a good ole boy. She just had to get used to it!
The situation at hand is different. Some people, especially in a dating situation, might take great offense. You need to be the judge on it. If it irritates you enough, take the risk of offending her. Just remember there may be a bad outcome. She may just clam up and be afraid to speak around you. Weigh the consequences.
But after a weekend of John and I being together, I always managed to get him to relax and talk like a good ole boy. She just had to get used to it!
The situation at hand is different. Some people, especially in a dating situation, might take great offense. You need to be the judge on it. If it irritates you enough, take the risk of offending her. Just remember there may be a bad outcome. She may just clam up and be afraid to speak around you. Weigh the consequences.
gr8AmericanBash
Member
We can all weigh in, but it's all useless without pics!
BarbC
Member
feralmerril
Absent Comrade
I am the very last who should give imput on the matter as I am the worst speller here. BUT I used to live with a highly educated english woman for 13 years that corrected me habitualy for 13 years!
I am now married to a woman that spells worse than I do, if thats possible! I never had it better than now! This one never ever corrects me and does everything she can to back me up etc.
If experience counts, I am here to tell you, keep your mouth shut!
I am now married to a woman that spells worse than I do, if thats possible! I never had it better than now! This one never ever corrects me and does everything she can to back me up etc.
If experience counts, I am here to tell you, keep your mouth shut!
bmx
Member
Hey Man,
Is she an Okie????? If so this is a normal speech pattern along with Ima needin and Ima fixin.
Roll with it a take her out to Junior's on Northwest Highway for a great steak dinner.........
Is she an Okie????? If so this is a normal speech pattern along with Ima needin and Ima fixin.
Roll with it a take her out to Junior's on Northwest Highway for a great steak dinner.........
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oldRoger
US Veteran
To the OP’s point, In most corporate circles “I seen” or “axed instead of asked” will indeed be a stumbling block. Not many will be good enough in other aspects of their jobs to avoid being pigeon-holed by improper grammar.
Fortunately for me poor spelling is a bit easier to overcome, since clients and the public don’t see it.
Far better for her to hear this from a co-worker rather than you. Girlfriends/wives do not take this sort of “he means well” correction from significant others well at all; you can trust me on this point.
Fortunately for me poor spelling is a bit easier to overcome, since clients and the public don’t see it.
Far better for her to hear this from a co-worker rather than you. Girlfriends/wives do not take this sort of “he means well” correction from significant others well at all; you can trust me on this point.
41Rem
Member
Grammar
Hay farmer, I feel your pain. I just let it go. The words are not coming out of my mouth (or yours) even though I'm standing right next to her. I (cudnt) couldn't believe what I was hearing. But like I said let it go. I do any how. Grammar and manners are my pet peevs. I should talk I can't spell worth a crap.
Hay farmer, I feel your pain. I just let it go. The words are not coming out of my mouth (or yours) even though I'm standing right next to her. I (cudnt) couldn't believe what I was hearing. But like I said let it go. I do any how. Grammar and manners are my pet peevs. I should talk I can't spell worth a crap.
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