Question for our Women Forum Members: Is using "Ma'am" offensive?

[Fishslayer]

Maybe shoulda tried "sugarbritches?"

 

[2152hq]

I was in the grocery store tonight and the checkout person was a Woman. She said something to me and I replied "Yes, Ma'am". She looked shocked and told me she was not over 40, so she is not a "Ma'am". I told her that I call all Women Ma'am until I get to know them. She looked kind of offended.

So, all you Female members of the Forum, does that offend you?

I was raised a Gentleman.....and I don't intend to change.
Jim

Nothing wrong with it at all. It's a common respectful term to use with a female stranger or one in authority.
Problem is that it's been turned around. Now many take it to mean (they are of) old age or infirmity. The person then takes offense when it's directed at them.

Much better to use 'Hey Cupcake,,How's it goin'?' so as not to offend.

 

[Delos]

Grodie fur-sure

This subject is like way totally wrong. Like gag me with a spoon.

 

[LL617]

I was raised by a Yankee mom in a southern state to say "Yes, Ma'am" and "Yes, Sir." When addressing strange women in public, I usually call them "Ma'am" even though they may be younger.

However, up north it can be a little different. A friend moved up north; she had six well behaved, polite kids, who were all also a bit rascally. She got called into the office by the high school principal who grilled her because he thought she must be abusing her children because they said "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Ma'am".

Some people are just ignorant to what manners are; others understand but don't have any themselves. Then others will appreciate your cordiality.

 

[CW Spook]

I was taught as a kid to be respectful, but I know my intentional usage of "Sir" & Ma'am" is a carryover from my hitch in the Navy. I've never had a comment or complaint from a woman, but I do get comments once in a while from a younger male when I respond to a question with a "Sir"...not criticism, just commentary to which I usually respond "I'm being charitable here.."

 

[old bear]

The terms "Ma'am and sir have nothing to do with age and everything to do with common Courtesy and Respect, of which we appear to be greatly lacking in this day and age.

I even referred to arrestees as sir or ma’am, whenever possible.

 

[Coldshooter]

All this discussion reminds me of a time about thirty-five years ago or so. I was brand new in graduate school....fresh off the farm. One morning, as I went into the department office, I greeted the secretaries by saying, "Good morning, ladies." Boy! Those two gals were all over me like ugly on squid!! They chewed me up one side and down the other, telling me in no uncertain terms that they weren't ladies....they were women! I felt terrible and humbly apologized.

The next morning when I went into the department office, I greeted them by saying, "Good morning, women." I thought they were going to kill me!! What the heck did I do wrong??? Sometimes a guy can't win for losin'.

They were right they were not ladies by action.

 

[rimfired]

The terms have lost their respect/influence on the society.
I learned "sir" and "ma'm" through the 50-60's.
Their was a greater respect for your elders.

Now, "a nod's as good as a wink to a blind man".

 

[rwsmith]

They think it's funny

People think such forms of address are reserved for older people and they don't like to admit that they are getting older just like everybody else that's alive.

BTW I'm an old guy with old standards. Just like the senator, they don't get respect if they don't appreciate respect. Personally, after she didn't accept the respectful term 'ma'm' I'd be creative in using another term.

 

[LouisianaJoe]

I always say ma'am and sir to all no matter what age. If someone complains, I tell them that my mama raised me that way and I am too old to change.

I also hold doors open no matter what age or sex. Same reason.

 

[medxam]

Old Bear has it right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

medxam

 

[AKtinman]

and how old is the female? I've moved alot, lived on both coasts and now in the South. In some places (not the South) people seem offended by terms/acts of respect. I thought it was kind of funny to be called ma'am when I was young (>25), didn't feel like I had earned the title yet!

I think our culture is discouraging anything that may indicate discrimination - feminism has wrought some serious damage in the past 45 years. Parents are not teaching the basics of respect to their children and wonder why it's not being taught at school. I have two teenage sons, they have been taught from toddlerhood to show respect and courtesy for others, male and female.

Great post! Makes me feel like I did something right in raising you (besides buying you your first S&W )

I'm proud of you, kiddo!

 

[chez323]

I still use ma'am in person or on the phone unless I know their name. It is my opinion a sign of respect. Learned it at home and was reinforced during my active duty time.

I asked my wife (27) if she's offended by it. She's not, but she thinks it's kind of funny.

I use sir and ma'am. Just the other day there was a woman ahead of me in line at the grocery store. A new line opened up, so being polite I wanted to let her know since she was in front of me and that is only fair. You can't say "hey, lady". I guess you could just say "exuse me, there is a new line open". But it just seems most normal to use ma'am.

 

[3strokes]

As a forum female member, I myself have never been called Ma'am but because I'm 30 years old but I still look like I'm in my teens.

Well said Ma'......err I mean, Young lady!

 

[flgolfer29]

I was at a doctors office a while back and the nurse that was assisting corrected me for saying "yes ma'am". She said she was from New Jersey and that was considered that being disrespectful. Said it was like calling her 'Old'.

joe

 

[Lil' LadySmith]

No offense here. Growing up I was taught it was about respect. We were to address others as Mr./Mrs./Ms. so-n-so if we knew their name and Sir or Ma'am if we did not.

 

[Roadtrash]

Born in SC and grew up just outside of Savannah, GA and have lived all over the country and never had anyone correct me when I said ma'am. I have had a few look at me funny when I opened the door for them but they've always said thank you and gone through.

As a child I learned early on if a lady was a family friend but older than you you would call her Miss Barbara and if she wasn't that close of a friend then it would be Miss Jones or whatever their name was. The same was done for a male friend Mr. Tommy or Mr. Jones.

It's not done as much today as back then but in the more rural areas in Georgia this is still done today. At least in the areas that I go back to every year.

 

[Delos]

You can not get there from here by train either

So far all I have figured out is that a woman’s snootiness and femininity is directly proportional to who it is that opened the door for them.

They cannot go around changing shoes all day and once the lipstick and eye shadow is on its on. So they use verbal cues to tell you that you are not the one they dressed up nice to please.

 

[Malpasowildlifer]

I'm a lady AND a military member. On the lady side, calling me ma'am is just find. If I'm in uniform, however, don't call me ma'am, I work for a living!

I'm 23 years old and I didn't grow up learning sir or ma'am. I intentionally chose to start using it in my teens as I developed a sense of old timey class and put aside the punk rock. Our whole culture is losing its sense of dignity in both word and deed. How long ago was it that every male regardless of age or social strata owned at least one suit? I'd love to see everyone dress up a bit to go out, dawn a fedora and treat everyone else with respect. I like the old ways.

Right on girl!

 

[strbrinky]

Don't call me Ma'am...I work for a living!

Well, that was always my reply when I was in uniform...now, only those who know about my past service get that reply. Otherwise, I figure it's simply a polite address and I am a bit bemused, unless it is delivered in a "less-than-polite" manner