susieqz
Absent Comrade
real cowgirls know how to rope, so i had to learn how.
bot a rope n started practicing.
i roped every fencepost for miles around.
i was pretty happy with myself.
then, one morn, i saw this cow that had a little hoof coming out of her rear end.
i waited hours n the calf wasn't getting born.
well, that was an expensive cow n the calf was worth $400 to me, so i had to help.
at least i was smart enow not to saddle a horse. one thing i knew for sure, if i roped anything bigger than a chipmunk ahorseback, i'd wake up in the hospital.
so i got in the truck n drove up to the cow. i dallied the end of the rope to the trailer hitch n tossed a loop around the cow's head.
she wasn't pleased.
after a while, she decided that she wasn't gonna move a 3/4 ton pick up n looked at me.
i was in the bed of the truck in a flash so she couldn't trample me into jelly.
my first mistake was not realizing that holding one end of a cow doesn't immobilize it. my second was leaning over n saying ''nyah nyah, you can't get me''.
she looked at me n said that she wasn't gonna forget this n she knew i had to come down sooner or later.
the problem was the rope was too long n she could get to either door easy.
i'm smarter than a stupid cow so i could get on the cab n shimmy into the truck n drag her to the corral n call the vet.
rats, the windows were closed.
i couldn't make a run for it because by this time a group of her friends had gathered round n looked like they wanted to learn how to trample too.
well, the bed of a pick up isn't the worst place to live, but i wished i had packed a lunch.
after a few years i was standing there trying to remember how long it took to die from hunger n thirst n a cowboy i hadn't met rode up.
he looked at the cow.
he looked at me.
i smiled n waved.
he took a rope off his saddle, built a loop n tossed it at the cow's rear legs, catching one.
he backed up his horse til the cow was balanced on three legs n stretched to the max, at which point she fell over.
so, i got down n delivered a healthy calf n all was fine.
or, maybe, i went n sat on the cow while the cowboy reached inside her, grabbed the other leg that had been bent wrong stopping the birth n with great force dragged the calf out.
at that point everybody was happy n the cow stopped wanting my blood.
so, i had learned the two big rules about roping.
1] practice til you can do it, then once you use the skill,
2] make sure somebody who knows what he's doing comes around to save you.
bot a rope n started practicing.
i roped every fencepost for miles around.
i was pretty happy with myself.
then, one morn, i saw this cow that had a little hoof coming out of her rear end.
i waited hours n the calf wasn't getting born.
well, that was an expensive cow n the calf was worth $400 to me, so i had to help.
at least i was smart enow not to saddle a horse. one thing i knew for sure, if i roped anything bigger than a chipmunk ahorseback, i'd wake up in the hospital.
so i got in the truck n drove up to the cow. i dallied the end of the rope to the trailer hitch n tossed a loop around the cow's head.
she wasn't pleased.
after a while, she decided that she wasn't gonna move a 3/4 ton pick up n looked at me.
i was in the bed of the truck in a flash so she couldn't trample me into jelly.
my first mistake was not realizing that holding one end of a cow doesn't immobilize it. my second was leaning over n saying ''nyah nyah, you can't get me''.
she looked at me n said that she wasn't gonna forget this n she knew i had to come down sooner or later.
the problem was the rope was too long n she could get to either door easy.
i'm smarter than a stupid cow so i could get on the cab n shimmy into the truck n drag her to the corral n call the vet.
rats, the windows were closed.
i couldn't make a run for it because by this time a group of her friends had gathered round n looked like they wanted to learn how to trample too.
well, the bed of a pick up isn't the worst place to live, but i wished i had packed a lunch.
after a few years i was standing there trying to remember how long it took to die from hunger n thirst n a cowboy i hadn't met rode up.
he looked at the cow.
he looked at me.
i smiled n waved.
he took a rope off his saddle, built a loop n tossed it at the cow's rear legs, catching one.
he backed up his horse til the cow was balanced on three legs n stretched to the max, at which point she fell over.
so, i got down n delivered a healthy calf n all was fine.
or, maybe, i went n sat on the cow while the cowboy reached inside her, grabbed the other leg that had been bent wrong stopping the birth n with great force dragged the calf out.
at that point everybody was happy n the cow stopped wanting my blood.
so, i had learned the two big rules about roping.
1] practice til you can do it, then once you use the skill,
2] make sure somebody who knows what he's doing comes around to save you.
Last edited:
