Sometimes, I just can't resist.

[Tom S.]

Some day, my mouth will be my undoing. Too often, events lead to me blurting out what my brain is thinking before I stifle the impulse. For example, yesterday I was at the grocery store when I was pushing my shopping cart past a man and woman in my pursuit of bread crumbs. I didn't hear the prelude conversation, but the woman said very tartly: "I don't like your tone of voice." Out of my mouth popped: "And the tone of yours is better?". Yeah, I hurried on my way before the shock wore off them.

Then there was the time I was in line at the local pharmacy and the druggist asked for my name. When I said it, she replied: "Can you spell that?" "T-H-A-T." came my instant reply. At least in this case, she had a sense of humor and said that as an English Major, she deserved that response. One positive came out of it though, she never asked for my name again after that.


Ever had one of these moments?

 

[RSBH44]

Unfortunately, more times than I can count. It's a bad habit that I picked up early in life. I've been known to open my mouth and insert my foot on many occasions.

 

[arjay]

I don't remember what I had said,but an old friend recently commented that the first sign of an aging brain is a breakdown of the ability to filter comments [emoji33]
Wimmin are mean!

 

[gregintenn]

Naaa. That's mainly a yankee flaw. Down here, we're quite civilized with our language.

 

[warcloud]

Remember to engage brain before putting mouth in gear

 

[RSBH44]

Naaa. That's mainly a yankee flaw. Down here, we're quite civilized with our language.

Uh, nope, I ain't rising to that bait.

 

[hoosierone]

My mouth has caused me a lot of problems over the years. I'm not dumb, but have said dumb things.

Good advice to think before speaking.

 

[Erich]

Yeah, when they happen in court, they can be a bit awkward.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I've lived with Opinion Tourette's for years . . .

 

[nodpete]

It's not so much that I said dumb things, it just that a lot of people I've met over the years needed my opinion, simple as that !

 

[raljr1]

Naaa. That's mainly a yankee flaw. Down here, we're quite civilized with our language.

Bless your heart....

 

[S42N8]

Never had that problem, but my occasional relapse of smart*** syndrome pretty well makes up for that.

I will, however, borrow the "Opinion Tourette's" term for use at a future time; likely tomorrow, less'n the office calls tonight

 

[rog8732]

My lady tells me, (frequently), I have a "50/50" personality. Half the people I meet, think I am witty, smart,and funny. The other half think 180 degrees opposite,....in all respects.
Thank goodness, she is of the first half.

In my own defense, I never made a sarcastic remark intended to hurt someones feelings.....(unless I meant to).

But even William Muny, who had blown up trains killing women and children, and killed every thing that walked or crawled at one time or another was able to say: "but I ain't like that no more".

 

[old bear]

Ever had one of these moments?
__________________

Yo Tom I live for those moments. Ya gotta take your shots when the opportunity arises. Think about it, how much fun world the world be, if it was not well staffed with idiots to amuse the rest of us?

Added: I recently purchased 4 multi bulb packs of LED lightbulbs. The young cashier asked me if I wanted her to bag them? I replied NO I want to juggle them all the way to the car. The poor girl believed me. Sometimes all you can do is shake your head.

 

[Doug627]

But William Muny was still like that.

 

[soFlaNative]

When the candy due to be tossed at the crowd off the Utilities float at this years parade failed to appear, I suggested the Assistant Director forego his trip to Scarlett's and use the dollar bills otherwise destined for garter belts be used to placate the crowd.
The guy wouldn't know a good idea if it crawled inside his shirt.

 

[DeathGrip]

When the candy due to be tossed at the crowd off the Utilities float at this years parade failed to appear, I suggested the Assistant Director forego his trip to Scarlett's and use the dollar bills otherwise destined for garter belts be used to placate the crowd.
The guy wouldn't know a good idea if it crawled inside his shirt.

Ha Ha Dollar bills at Scarlett's. A.D. ought to stick with penny candy.

 

[JohnRippert]

One of the young ladies that lived near me at my old apartment used to call me "No Filter".

It fits.

 

[6518John]

Learn from Yogi:

"I never said most of the things I said."

 

[shouldazagged]

I don't remember what I had said,but an old friend recently commented that the first sign of an aging brain is a breakdown of the ability to filter comments...

You reach a point--at least I have--at which you figure you're so old they expect you to be crusty, and have too little time left to waste it holding back.

 

[G.T. Smith]

A few years ago my neighbor lady stopped by on her 4 wheeler and she was pretty wasted. I think she drinks quite a bit. Any way, I was outside working on something and she asked me if I had any standing water and if I did to dump it out as she had a horse die from west Nile virus. I don't know if that can happen or not. I told her that I do have some standing water but I had been down in bed with the bird flu and never got a chance to dump it. She just looked at me with a sympathetic look and drove off. I guess she thought I was serious. I probably shouldn't say things like that but, Oh well.
Peace,
Gordon

 

[kthom]

My problem is that when I try to be a wit, I only get the job half done!!!!

 

[Fishslayer]

When the box gal at Costco is good lookin', when she asks if I wanna box for my groceries sometimes I tell her "No, but I'll wrestle ya for 'em!"

 

[hardcase60]

I have failed miserably at taking the advice of my poor deceased grandmother who told me "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". My latest escapade occurred at the drive-thru window of a fast food restaurant. After two attempts at getting a very simple order delivered correctly, I was handed the bag. The cashier never thought about an apology for the mistakes. I then felt incumbent to ask her if she really thought her performance was worth $15.00 an hour. The wife don't think we should go back there for a while. hardcase60

PS. Verbally using logic and common sense when conversing with college educated millennial's should probably be a misdemeanor.

 

[vonn]

I have to admit that I am not politically correct very often. This is not an apology,just who I am.

 

[Tom S.]

When the box gal at Costco is good lookin', when she asks if I wanna box for my groceries sometimes I tell her "No, but I'll wrestle ya for 'em!"

I've used that with waitresses as well.

 

[steamloco76]

I can get in trouble without even opening my mouth!

During a corporate meeting a few years back I received the death ray glare stare from my boss for snapping my fingers and clapping my hands twice.

You see, the president of the company, the CFO and CEO were in attendance as was the director of advertising who had a very annoying habit whenever he entered a room. Mr. Ad director would snap his fingers and clap his hands-always. Well, as a reflex reaction from my wise cracking brain center, I snapped my fingers and clapped twice when the president recognized the DofA's attendance at the meeting.

My boss, who was directly across from me, was not amused. The president and CFO both nearly passed out from holding in an outburst of laughter, just about everybody chuckled and the DofA just looked at me and shook his head. Amazingly, I still had a job after the meeting.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I can get in trouble without even opening my mouth!

I've been told I can roll my eyes out loud . . .

 

[Krell1]

Unfortunately, more times than I can count. It's a bad habit that I pick up early in life. I've been known to open my mouth and insert my foot on many occasions.

You must know my sister. She suffers from foot in mouth disease. I've never known anyone that has that bad a habit. She's pretty much alienated the entire family with some of her comments.

 

[coltle6920]

I can honestly say that I've never said anything to offend anyone in my life.I don't consider it my problem that many people took offense at what I've said.