Sometimes, I just can't resist.

[G.T. Smith]

A few years ago my neighbor lady stopped by on her 4 wheeler and she was pretty wasted. I think she drinks quite a bit. Any way, I was outside working on something and she asked me if I had any standing water and if I did to dump it out as she had a horse die from west Nile virus. I don't know if that can happen or not. I told her that I do have some standing water but I had been down in bed with the bird flu and never got a chance to dump it. She just looked at me with a sympathetic look and drove off. I guess she thought I was serious. I probably shouldn't say things like that but, Oh well.
Peace,
Gordon

 

[kthom]

My problem is that when I try to be a wit, I only get the job half done!!!!

 

[Fishslayer]

When the box gal at Costco is good lookin', when she asks if I wanna box for my groceries sometimes I tell her "No, but I'll wrestle ya for 'em!"

 

[hardcase60]

I have failed miserably at taking the advice of my poor deceased grandmother who told me "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". My latest escapade occurred at the drive-thru window of a fast food restaurant. After two attempts at getting a very simple order delivered correctly, I was handed the bag. The cashier never thought about an apology for the mistakes. I then felt incumbent to ask her if she really thought her performance was worth $15.00 an hour. The wife don't think we should go back there for a while. hardcase60

PS. Verbally using logic and common sense when conversing with college educated millennial's should probably be a misdemeanor.

 

[vonn]

I have to admit that I am not politically correct very often. This is not an apology,just who I am.

 

[Tom S.]

When the box gal at Costco is good lookin', when she asks if I wanna box for my groceries sometimes I tell her "No, but I'll wrestle ya for 'em!"

I've used that with waitresses as well.

 

[steamloco76]

I can get in trouble without even opening my mouth!

During a corporate meeting a few years back I received the death ray glare stare from my boss for snapping my fingers and clapping my hands twice.

You see, the president of the company, the CFO and CEO were in attendance as was the director of advertising who had a very annoying habit whenever he entered a room. Mr. Ad director would snap his fingers and clap his hands-always. Well, as a reflex reaction from my wise cracking brain center, I snapped my fingers and clapped twice when the president recognized the DofA's attendance at the meeting.

My boss, who was directly across from me, was not amused. The president and CFO both nearly passed out from holding in an outburst of laughter, just about everybody chuckled and the DofA just looked at me and shook his head. Amazingly, I still had a job after the meeting.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I can get in trouble without even opening my mouth!

I've been told I can roll my eyes out loud . . .

 

[Krell1]

Unfortunately, more times than I can count. It's a bad habit that I pick up early in life. I've been known to open my mouth and insert my foot on many occasions.

You must know my sister. She suffers from foot in mouth disease. I've never known anyone that has that bad a habit. She's pretty much alienated the entire family with some of her comments.

 

[coltle6920]

I can honestly say that I've never said anything to offend anyone in my life.I don't consider it my problem that many people took offense at what I've said.

 

[Arik]

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[RSBH44]

I had sticky note pads made up that I would often use to leave service messages for my road techs. The heading said " Sarcasm is just one service I offer"

 

[gman51]

I worked with a man that when he was goosed he would shout what he was thinking. One time he was staring at a pretty young lady sitting at a desk when someone goosed him. I am not allowed on this forum to say what he yelled.
Myself I am sorry to say I have said some pretty offensive/ disrespectful/ stupid things that I wish I could have shoved back in my mouth. I often wonder what the heck is the matter with me. At the time it didn't even dawn on me to keep that thought to myself. Like a bullet words can't be taken back.

 

[M E Morrison]

You reach a point--at least I have--at which you figure you're so old they expect you to be crusty, and have too little time left to waste it holding back.

Before I retired I called that my "grumpy old man card" and used it as required!

 

[M E Morrison]

I have to admit that I am not politically correct very often. This is not an apology,just who I am.

I would extend that to "probably never", just to be a wee bit conservative....

 

[turnerriver]

"My lady tells me, (frequently), I have a "50/50" personality. Half the people I meet, think I am witty, smart,and funny. The other half think 180 degrees opposite,....in all respects."

All the people I meet think I'm Witty.
I have actually gotten better at stopping myself before saying something stupid or hurtful. I'm still a wisecracker and am not anywhere near 100% but I find myself thinking "glad I didn't say what I almost/usually/was getting ready to say" pretty often.
Regards,
turnerriver

 

[M E Morrison]

"My lady tells me, (frequently), I have a "50/50" personality. Half the people I meet, think I am witty, smart,and funny. The other half think 180 degrees opposite,....in all respects."

All the people I meet think I'm Witty.
I have actually gotten better at stopping myself before saying something stupid or hurtful. I'm still a wisecracker and am not anywhere near 100% but I find myself thinking "glad I didn't say what I almost/usually/was getting ready to say" pretty often.
Regards,
turnerriver

Yeah, I usually try to avoid hurtful, unless some toad REALLY deserves it.

 

[old bear]

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Well, that's gotta be a short catch up list...

 

[Arik]

Well, that's gotta be a short catch up list...

Yea but it's always growing, changing, evolving

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[soFlaNative]

The guy wouldn't know a good idea if it crawled inside his shirt.

I do try to give credit where credit is due.
The man asked me to attend a weekly update meeting with the chief's, plant manger, etc.
I doubt I'll be invited back.