Sorting through life's shoe boxes

[bigride]

I am still going through belongings that my wife had stored in various plastic containers. She much preferred plastic containers over cardboard boxes. I suspect this preference was developed after the basement in our first home flooded and destroyed every cardboard box we used for storage. What a mess!

I recently opened one tote to find two shoe boxes. One was full of letters I had written to her while I was in college. We met at college, but she finished a semester ahead of me so during that time, we lived in different cities. We were not yet married, and she was actually living with my parents. Mom and dad said that if I ever broke up with Candi, they were keeping her. I believed them. I have not read through all the stuff in this shoe box yet, and to be honest, I don't know if I can.

The other shoe box contained all my report cards and mementos from school. I had no idea this stuff still existed. I even found my kindergarten "diploma." Apparently, my mom gave all this to Candi while she lived with them. I guess my mom knew that Candi would take care of those memories better than I would. These mementos and memories are more meaningful to me now though...because they were cherished by her.

So I'm sorting through life, trying to figure out what stays and what goes. I don't have everything figured out yet, but I know this...those two shoe boxes aren't going anywhere.

And those report cards of mine? Well, turns out I was actually a pretty smart kid. Too bad I outgrew it.

 

[vonn]

Read your post and been thinking on a reply,cannot find the words. Hang in and keep your faith.

 

[BC38]

Bless you brother. I can only imagine what you must be going through. Be strong, I'm sure that is what Candi would wish for you.

 

[DeathGrip]

September will be four years.

My wife didn't have alotta things but I'm finding out she had more than I thought. There's things that have no meaning to me. I wish I knew who all of the pictures were. I wish I could read German.


Hang in there, It does get a little easier. Only a little.

 

[MetalMan]

Wow...such memories...

I would keep everything for the history's sake and as your legacy to pass down to kids/grandkids/family.

With all of the current interest in DNA testing and genealogy, I am sure all of these keepsakes will be appreciated...if not today, certainly some day in the future.

Stay strong.

 

[hoc9sw]

My wife didn't have alotta things but I'm finding out she had more than I thought. There's things that have no meaning to me. I wish I knew who all of the pictures were. I wish I could read German.

I had that moment with my Grandmother. Her father was Austrian, and his mom never learned English. I found a huge, to a 10 year old, box of pictures. Grandmother went through them telling me who they were. I proceeded to start writing the names on the photos. She got upset, then I looked up and asked her how I was supposed to remember. She gave in, and we labelled all of them. They are now in a local museum, and are a key research aid for people just getting into family history, as I'm somehow related to about everyone in the county.

 

[Grip_Maker's_Wife]

It sounds like a treasure chest from Candi, especially the letters you exchanged. What a special gift! Those are a lot of sweet memories and reading one every once in a while might make you smile. Love is such a blessing. ♥

 

[perryhd]

bigride
I tried to respond to your OP earlier but my screen was to blurry to type. I am sorry for your loss but happy for the good memories.

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

We do not mourn them for their sakes, but for ours. That stuff was carefully saved for this moment to help you relive the good memories and remember where you came from, and to inspire you to find new good times. Peace be with you.

 

[two-bit cowboy]

I don't have to pretend you're witty, bigride.

Very nice to see you've not only retained, but share, your sense of humor. A delightful trait.

Thanks for sharing this tidbit with us. I believe it helps you and us, too.

 

[shouldazagged]

I went through something similar when my beloved Carol died, twenty-two years ago. The only word that comes to mind is "bittersweet". For me I think it was a necessary part of starting to heal. I hope it is for you as well. I know that is what Candi would want for you.

When I was newly bereaved I reached the point of wanting to spit in the eye of the next person who said, "It will get better, but it will take time."

But it did, and it did.

I'm pulling for you.

 

[les.b]

We all mourn your loss....glad you have these memories to cherish. I still have unopened boxes from my mom's passing many years ago that I haven't had the heart to sort through. She was also a saver of family memorabilia.

Hang in there, brother.

Best Regards, Les

 

[italiansport]

September will be four years.

My wife didn't have alotta things but I'm finding out she had more than I thought. There's things that have no meaning to me. I wish I knew who all of the pictures were. I wish I could read German.


Hang in there, It does get a little easier. Only a little.

I agree with hanging in there and I expect many on this forum have had similar experiences with grief.
One point struck home to me in the above post. For years I tried to get my father to label the large lots of multi-generational photos we have. For one reason or another he never did it and I'm now trying to do the best I can but a lot of them will not be identifiable. If you have photos like this and your parents/grandparents are still alive get the photos identified by them before it's too late. You owe it to your children and grandchildren.
Jim

 

[Golddollar]

One point struck home to me in the above post. For years I tried to get my father to label the large lots of multi-generational photos we have. For one reason or another he never did it and I'm now trying to do the best I can but a lot of them will not be identifiable. If you have photos like this and your parents/grandparents are still alive get the photos identified by them before it's too late. You owe it to your children and grandchildren.
Jim

This can be a project for the whole family. My late mother did a lot of family history and continued doing it even though her hands got crippled up when she contracted rheumatoid arthritis.
She designed some wonderful albums of both sides of my family doing back 5 generations. She got a lot of old photographs copied and organized the pictures from my great grandparents down to my nephew. But the part she couldn't do was label the photos in the white border space so the information would be on the front of the pictures. That part of it fell to me. Because of my job, I was very good at doing small handprinting. This might be something that the children in the family can help out with and take pride in being a part of an important family project.

 

[Hithev]

Yes, it helps, your post. Reminding us to slow down, not to care about things that won't last and soon appear insignificant, while rather cherish and enjoy what matters. Candi is living in you. Your mutual love will survive and remain –beyond the details of your private letters – in the feelings you share with your loved ones , and here with us. Be safe. Keep going.

 

[joeintexas]

Paul, I read your post again, keep coming back to it for some reason. My heart goes out to you and prayers for your continued strength. Just can't think of any other words to say.

 

[straightshooter1]

Paul, I pray for you every day and I think 'zagged is right, it'll get better and it'll take time.

I appreciate you sharing these things with us.

Bob

 

[Rustyt1953]

Paul, I read your post again, keep coming back to it for some reason. My heart goes out to you and prayers for your continued strength. Just can't think of any other words to say.

^^^^^THIS^^^^^

 

[bigride]

I'm doing okay, everybody. I was actually trying to post something encouraging with a touch of humor. Thank you all for being so kind and supportive. I am pressing on. There ain't no quit in me.

Don't worry about having the "right words." Just being decent human beings to one another is enough. It costs zero dollars to be kind...and a lot of people here are rich where it counts.