Stupid stuff people say to LE

[S&W Fan]

"I was speeding because I have diarrhea"-c'mon I know some of you have heard that one lol.

I got pulled over while out on my motorcycle a couple years ago for going a bit over the limit. I wear a full face helmet. When I took it off the officer said "wow, I was expecting a younger rider they way you were riding". I came back with that I've been riding over 50 years and was trying to recapture my youth.

He got a good laugh out of that and gave me a break with a defective vehicle ticket, first points I had in a really long time!

 

[Buford57]

And one of the best, you can't give me a ticket because you don't have your hat on.

When I was on the job not wearing the hat would have carried a stiffer penalty than the ticket.

 

[OLDSTER]

Cop--"you drinking ?"

Me--"you buying ?"

"We laughed and laughed !! "


"Need bail money"

 

[Smoke]

I've never heard this except on gun forums but it's like fingernails on a chalk board every time.

Cop: Do you have any weapons in the vehicle?

Citizen: Yes Officer, I have blah, blah, blah and it's wherever.

Cop: Well if you don't touch yours and I won't touch mine.

It just sounds like a really dumb line to me.

 

[Muss Muggins]

I've actually had this interaction, but it was "Don't show me yours and I won't show you mine . . . "

I won't say who said what . . .

I've never heard this except on gun forums but it's like fingernails on a chalk board every time.

Cop: Do you have any weapons in the vehicle?

Citizen: Yes Officer, I have blah, blah, blah and it's wherever.

Cop: Well if you don't touch yours and I won't touch mine.

It just sounds like a really dumb line to me.

 

[themightyhawk]

not a good thing to say....

back in the mid '80s, in austin, texas, a friend had his car towed for parking in a no parking spot. he called me to come rescue him. he had already found out where the lot was, it was a long ways away. i took him there and he bailed out his car, thanks to a loan from me, and took off down the highway, hauling ***, 'cause he was running late due to the tow. he got pulled over, which put him in an even grumpier mood. the cop walked up to the window and greg asked "what did you pull me over for, i don't have any donuts?" needless to say, any chances for a warning were pretty much gone.

BTW, parking in downtown austin was pretty much non existent, back in the mid '80s. i cannot prove it, but it looked like they had tow trucks patrolling looking for illegally parked cars to tow.

 

[16thVACav]

Cop: "Have you been drinking?"

Driver: "Just one beer."

Cop, spreading his hands about two feet apart: "Was it about this big?'