hey IBEW from an old Laborer's 264 KC, Mo hand. Like you & hoc that posts here too, I'm stage 4 cancer, lung & liver NSC adenocarcinoma. Started out with a tumor in a lobe of my R lung in 1999...... had that lobe removed, & chemo....... was in remission until 2013 when it returned.. 2 more tumors R lung......... had them removed then had the entire R lung removed........... 3 big surgeries & 7 small procedures (1 hour to 3 hours long) in 2013...... The cancer came back 2 tumors in my L lung, & a large one in my liver..............I can't have any more surgery & I'm not a candidate for radiation........ So far chemo has worked extremely well, the 2 tumors in my L lung cannot be detected now, & the large one in my liver hasn't grown or changed. He has truly blessed me with this. They gave me 4-6 weeks to 4-6 months to live in April of 2000.. Our Father gave me 13 years of gravy time...So I understand what you are going through...........
Back when I had my first tumor out in 1999, the Pediatrics Oncology wing was 25 feet from my room & thru a double door...... when you see those beautiful little bald headed angels that are fighting for each day of life..........you realize how much our Father has given all of us old farts..
we've been fortunate enough to fall in love, raise a family of good kids & have grandkids & great grandkids ....a lot of these children with cancer will never be well enough to go to their first dance, must less date, fall in love, get married etc etc etc..............We must never fall into the trap of feeling sorry for ourselves........instead we must always be so grateful for the long full lives our Father has given us.
the only way I found that I could deal with this disease is to ask Him for help, in the Name of His Son, and by putting it in our Father's Hands, according to His Will.........until I did this I was going nuts with worry & spending hours each day on the computer looking for medical trials etc. etc. etc. Rely on Him to guide the hands & eyes of your healers,, and leaving it according to His Will & His Plan.
Several things that you'll discover about having a serious illness/ medical problem........ it is far easier on the patient than it is on our families..... Our good ladies, who have been able to solve any problem that a can come up for any member of her family, can't fix these problems & it leaves them feeling helpless.......I try to always tell my lady how beautiful she is each day, to compliment her on what she does & to always tell her & our loved ones thank you & that I love them..........and that is someone makes a mistake, to learn to forgive & forget and to try and look at problems from several viewpoints before making a decision.......
If you're having some serious pain, the docs will give you meds for it..... we learned to never chase it, but to take the meds before it gets bad... you'll end up taking far fewer meds that way.
But taking those strong meds means that I cannot drive, Missouri's law on driving under the influence (DUI) includes impairment by alcohol, legal prescribed meds & illegal drugs..... I also quit reloading, friends/lodge bros come over & use our gear to reload for us & themselves......
all those safety talks we gave & or listened to at work every week brought it home on our responsibilities to our families.....it is up to us to know when it was/is time to hang up our car keys........ now if I think I'm going to have to drive, or that we might shoot, I won't take any pain meds after my 4:00AM meds.
Know that you are in my prayers