Loknload, I was torn about leaving a "like" on your post, because I didn't "like" what you had to say, but I sure do admire how you said it and the grace and courage it took at this point in your journey to remember us and write that.
Graydon (ancient one) left a pearl of wisdom above that jumped out at me: "I ask that you to talk freely to your family as it will make it easier for them to express their feelings to you. People sometimes, in this situation, do not empty their heart and say the things that they feel and then regret it the rest of their lives."
I've been there and done that several times, and sometimes cry myself to sleep thinking about it, because I didn't.
May God bless all of you, and give you peace.