The Hand Ejector guys just ruined my life!

[Avery11]

Ignorance is bliss - talk me back into it.

I have a very small and very humble little collection - I have been at it for a short while.

A few that I have been able to gather into the fold are:

625-3 4"
625-7 3" 45 colt 150 made
17-2
15-3
627-0
couple 586's
686 CS-1
657 ND 4"
52-2

I have maybe a couple dozen others - no junk; the list above seem to be my favorites.

Some are interesting but not overly rare. I will call a few scarce. Some have boxes but most don't and all have been shot.

Looking at them all, I see a mix of colors and grips with most being recognizable, modern, and maybe sought after. I don't even know if its a real collection yet the only common theme being the manufacturer.

Tonight I wandered into the hand ejector section. WOW, I wish I hadn't seen those. I repeat - WOW. They were breathtaking in their deep blue and walnut with red and gold and blue boxes. Long, sexy lines or thick, beefy tools of an age of serious men. I mean, if a gun could have a long, black moustache, those would certainly be it. Am I making my point here? It gives me chills. It would almost be a priveledge to be shot in the shoulder by one of those darn things. Just a graze, of course. I didn't see one thing I didn't love. Like get married love. Like I love my momma love. Like luuuuuvvvv love.

Now I sit here looking into the safe and aside from the 17, I feel so let down.

I like my guns and I like this section of the forum - there are some fantastic arms here.

But in the mahogany smoking room over where the hand ejector guys hang out...I felt like a window peeking tramp. With nothing to say and nothing to show, I quietly left.

I don't have the energy to start over and I probably don't have the money to break into that market but now I know what real refinement looks like. How do I go back?

Cheer me up. Tell me how great this section is. Maybe slap me across the face and tell me I'm lucky to be here at all.

Do something, anything, before I sell off these THINGS and retire into depression.

My eyes, my eyes! Oh, the agony!

 

[Cpt. Obvious]

Well, while I've got a pistol that puts me in that group myself, you have my grail gun, a 52. So you definitely have big one up on me. Get a couple 27s and/or 28s, throw in couple pre-whatevers and you're set. I, on the other hand, have a long way to go...

 

[CWH44300]

Just go shooting your new smiths and stand in awe of their awesome performance ...and don't go wandering over there ...lol

 

[Avery11]

Oh, fifty-two shmifty-two. Whaaaa, whaaaaaa. On and on I cry. I'm ruined. My life is over.

I'm a 16 year old girl whose greaseball boyfriend just dumped her on prom night.

WHAAAAAAA!!!!

Really, um, you like my 52? Go on...

 

[P&R Fan]

Personally I'm just lookin' for the Mahogany Smoking Room. Sounds like my kind of (Totally Non-Politically Correct) place.
Jim

 

[Avery11]

Oh, its a wonderful place. Everybody is wearing 3-piece suits and derbys. They tell time on pocket watches and it's always dusk.

I might try to sneek back in later. But for now "sniffle" I sit here looking at these aweful, souless husks.

I'll never smile again. There are no rainbows. Kittens aren't cute. Apple pie is from China.

 

[old bear]

Avery don't go there unless you are willing to never go home again. Those handejectors and very early model marked guns are in a league of their own.

 

[410bore]

Avery don't go there unless you are willing to never go home again. Those handejectors and very early model marked guns are in a league of their own.

they sure sucked me in, but i'm not complaining

 

[Avery11]

I know, I know Old Bear. But you came too late and I've seen behind the curtain. The light...it was so silvery-blue.

There was even a guy with a monocular and he called everyone "My good man." in a really snooty tone.

Those guys drink scotch and don't make that face or anything.

They eat steak for every meal. EVERY MEAL. And its always dinner time.

Ohhhh, flowers are ugly....Labs aren't loyal....Flannel is pink.......

 

[OldBlood]

You have a serious case of COLLECTORITUS, and envy is a complicating influence. Only cure is to sell your "husks" to me for a very low price, almost giving them away, thereby alleviating the guit associated with envy, and take up STAMP COLLECTING>

 

[Avery11]

Old spice is brand new...Dirty Harry is clean...John Wayne is dead.

Wait...

 

[nawilson]

Those guys are really classy. I hear they ride those funny looking bicycles when they aren't motoring about in their 12 cylinder Cadillacs. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...

 

[Ralph G. Briscoe]

Avery, I feel your pain and wish you well on your quest. Whatever the outcome, I hope you'll continue writing about it. You've got the knack.
Makes me long for the days of my childhood when gun writers could actually write.

 

[C&R Bill]

Of course you DO realize it is ok to like chocolate, vanilla AND strawberry.........RIGHT??

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

Avery, enjoy what you have...Pick up a new piece now and then to add to the pile.......Face it.......We'll never have the $$$ to own all we want. Squirrel money away........Go to gunshows.....Enjoy what others show here. Thats what its all about
At my age I'm a little picky about what I buy....Last 2 gunshows went with $$ in hand......Came home empty handed.

 

[Goony]

Note from the Mahogany Smoking Room

My manservant has brought your plight to my attention. We have an adage (we're generally quite agog over adages and anecdotes)...er, where was I?...Oh yes, we say, "Don't lather your polo pony without swinging your mallet." (insert chortle here) In short, there are gentlemen and there are ruffians. It's a stainless steel versus a highly polished blue world. The eternal struggle, and all that blather...er, where was I? Oh yes, the most efficacious solution, as one wag has quite rightly opined, is to divest yourself of all your previously acquired noveau riche trinkets to one of our number on advantageous terms (wink, wink, nudge nudge here). There's a velvet smoking jacket in it for you.

 

[Avery11]

Oh man, one of them talked to me. To ME!

He looks like the Monopoly guy and I look like Alfred E. Newmann.

Those guys light $100 bills with $50 bills and then they light thier cigars.

I think he called me a rich Navajo or something and then he threw some change at me. This is the best day ever.

Did you see his moustache? It was so thick it had its own moustache and its moustache was thicker than my moustache.

Oh the names of their weapons are so verbose. I saw a Heavy .44 Beakart 32. 22. 44. 38. Duty Pre Victory Post War 1917!

It was pre-everything and had grips made of poor people. It came with a sample target that was made of gold leaf and shot with silver bullets. They fired two groups of 1000 rounds from England to Springfield and the group was smaller than the bullet.

Their shoes are shined by Taurus CEO's and are so glossy you can see the future in them.

The sweet stench of a $5 cigar fills my pathetic nasal passages. Hey, it's the roaring 20's...five bucks is a pile.

I gotta go. Babe Ruth just walked in. Babe Freakin Ruth! I'll be back later you guys. Save my spot.

 

[Avery11]

Alas, it's time to adjourn.

Stay tuned when tomorrow, we revisit the opulence of the Mahogany Mansion where we will meet men whose names are actually Manfred, Jeeves, and Chandler.

Oh wow, I'm even talkin like em now.

And yet, my life remains ever stripped of its vigor, its vibrance, its virility, its verve, its vel-...its vefti-...um...its awesomeness.

My jack has no cracker, my liquor no laquer, my ticker no tacker, my lips lost their smacker.

My salad no dressin, my bible no blessin, to the Priest I'm confessin, thank God Smith had his Wesson.

Good night Gracie. This was fun.

 

[kennyb]

i must agree...a true hoity-toity collects from many eras...climb out of those combat masterpieces and buck up man!!

 

[nawilson]

This has got to be the funniest thread I have ever read! I laughed so hard and often my wife thought I was crazy.