the private detective and the blond haired brown eyed waitress

I have to admit, I was waiting for the punch line. But in the end, epilog, I thought it was touching. Never happen these days though. I do hope Im wrong about that.Kinda does make you want to go to a diner though, doesnt it?
Jim
 
Hi mg357,

Keep up the good work. I haven't written anything in a long time--not since college. Stay positive and keep at it; and don't take a critique as negative. Plus, remember, it is always far easier to critique what someone else has written than to come up with truly unique content. ;) Best, TH
 
TheHobbyist said:
Hi mg357,

Keep up the good work. I haven't written anything in a long time--not since college. Stay positive and keep at it; and don't take a critique as negative. Plus, remember, it is always far easier to critique what someone else has written than to come up with truly unique content. ;) Best, TH
Click to expand...



Exactly, critique is not automatically criticism. Read it & use what you think will help and ignore the rest.
 
I've probably got more spare time than many of you but I enjoyed the read. If we assume the story was just written and subtract the 69 years of marriage and 3 years of being a widower from 2015, this took place in 1942. Three things I noticed were that the actual model 36 came out in 1957. WalMart didn't become Walmart until the 1960's and seat belts weren't standard in American cars until about 1965 although you could buy one earlier than that for about $5.00 and install it yourself.
 
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Geno44 said:
I've probably got more spare time than many of you but I enjoyed the read. If we assume the story was just written and subtract the 69 years of marriage and 3 years of being a widower from 2015, this took place in 1942. Three things I noticed were that the actual model 36 came out in 1957. WalMart didn't become Walmart until the 1960's and seat belts weren't standard in American cars until about 1965 although you could buy one earlier than that for about $5.00 and install it yourself.
Click to expand...
My wife gets miffed at me becaues we seldom see a movie where I don't point out some gun, holster, knife, etc. that doesn't fit the supposed time frame. They usually get the cars right.
 
Geno44 said:
I've probably got more spare time than many of you but I enjoyed the read. If we assume the story was just written and subtract the 69 years of marriage and 3 years of being a widower from 2015, this took place in 1942. Three things I noticed were that the actual model 36 came out in 1957. WalMart didn't become Walmart until the 1960's and seat belts weren't standard in American cars until about 1965 although you could buy one earlier than that for about $5.00 and install it yourself.
Click to expand...

No, I think it takes place now and add 69 years, which makes it 2084. There weren't no cell phones 69 years ago.
Jim
 
P&R Fan said:
No, I think it takes place now and add 69 years, which makes it 2084. There weren't no cell phones 69 years ago.
Jim
Click to expand...


I had guessed 1961.

The first cellphones, sort of, came out just after WW2. Sure they weighed 75 pounds or so...

But notice how Craig suffered from terrible OCD what with his car scrubbing, constant showers, thorough manscaping etc. Doubtless this somehow led to him being an early adopter.

Though their later adventures in the Bermuda Triangle fighting Robot Hitler and the future space Nazis could have altered the timeline.
 
I found the read both amusing and entertaining. Looking at the way it's formatted and all the credits at the end, it reminded me of a 'game' my son plays with his friends on the long rides to "away" athletic games.

Each person contributes a short bit to the story, leaving off at a point where the next person has to build on it. Kinda read as if the group of Forum Members all took turns adding their pieces. Hence, the occasionally in-depth detail and repetition.
 
I see; just before me, the "story" had 52 comments.

Just guessing here, but, not only is that likely above average in the number of replies, it accomplished what I suppose we all start a thread for. RESPONSES !

However, no one can deny this forum can be "hard" on your feelings, no matter the subject, if, you allow critique to get too personal.
 
I've noticed in your past posts and inquiries that you were going to write about 1) a Green Beret in Iraq, 2) a Green Beret in Vietnam, 3) a Green Beret Sniper and, 4) a Green Beret on a special assignment. In each case, you were inquiring about what type of Smith and Wesson revolver such a person(s) would most likely carry.

In all of the replies, the forum members were very thorough, very patient, and gave responses based on actual experience and observation. I noticed, however, that the majority of replies as to what our Special Forces would carry were pretty similar. In fact, after reading three or four of your posts, it was almost like visiting the Department of Redundancy Department.

I may have missed some others, but I'm curious...have any of your works been published?
 
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Mule Packer: yes sir as a matter of fact i am member of a website called Stories online.net

An i have published a grand total of 22 stories on that website.
 
I never read story books. But this sounded ok. No wild sex scene or drunken rampages but it was squeaky clean. Nowadays that's different.
 
Maybe it's me but I got buried in all those details - sounds too much like a police report or lab research.
 
BigBill: Thank you for your comment i appreciate it.

All the romance stories that i right are as clean as a whistle.
 
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