Things you no longer do for your spouse...

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When my wife and I were dating a hundred years ago, she would hunt with me and I would go to musicals and plays with her. You know how it was...young and in love and open to new experiences.

Over the many, many years however, things have changed. There are now certain things that my wife has forbidden me to do on her behalf.

1. I am not allowed to touch her laundry. No problem, I won't touch any of it. ;)

2. When we were in our early twenties, I picked up a matching outfit for her at a department store. It was purplish in color, a matching top and pants, and it was not cheap. Back then we weren't making any money and I think this outfit was around $60-$70 IIRC. I good chunk of money for us. But, I think it was her birthday and I wanted her to have it.
When she opened the package, she initially liked it. Then she tried the outfit on. The crotch of the pants hung down close to her knees. She said she looked like M.C. Hammer and refused to wear the outfit. So back it went in spite of my protests and unrequited encouragement.
I no longer buy clothes for her.

For those of you who don't remember M.C. Hammer (famous for "Can't Touch This" ), here he is. I have to say that the outfit I chose looked much nicer and more tasteful than this! :D

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3. As a child, I grew up with my mother and grandmother cutting all the children's hair. So as a father, I would cut my children's hair on occasion to save a few bucks. One day my wife asks if I could trim her bangs. She said she needed them shorter and didn't have time to get to the beauty shop. "No problem" I says and proceeded to trim them a little.
Back then, the wife had bangs and would put the curling iron to them. She didn't bring that to my attention. I trimmed her bangs to the middle of her forehead and feathered them. I was rather pleased with myself for doing a good job and saving some money.
She left for a few minutes and then came back in with a Yosemite Sam scowl on her face.

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She had put the curling iron to her bangs and she looked something like this. :eek:

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I didn't hear the end of it for over a month until they grew back out. We laugh about it today, but I am not allowed within 10 feet of her hair with a pair of scissors! :D:D

So what have you and your spouse agreed that you are no longer allowed to do for the other?
 

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Since I retired, I do the laundry. Since she didn't like my folding,....

I don't allow her to load the dishwasher, she can get two more days of dishes in there, but nothing gets clean!

But the second most romantic everyday thing a man can do for a woman is to run the vacuum, the most romantic is plug it in first!

Ivan
 
We don't talk. Use Angel as the interpreter! You know, "Ya gotta go out? Go see Daddy!" "Go ask Daddy where my keys are." "Tell Mommy you need a clean dish." "Tell Daddy where the laundry is."
I love my new puppy!
 
Put her to bed and clean up after her when she passes out drunk on the couch…… AGAIN. As a matter of fact, the list is long…. now an EX-spouse.

She has a new partner who participates along with her in her nightly knee-walking commode-hanging exploits.

I hope she gets some help before it is too late. I couldn’t do anything to help her.
 
I had a friend like the above. She really knew how to drink. When she got all drunk then she wanted to hang on me...otherwise we were just friends. I quit going to her place when she called...but drinking. Wasted her life with alcohol. Nothing helped...not me either. Theresa. My WIFE never understood why I tried to help her...

As for my wife... I learned to not do the painting in the house and LEAVE THE LAUNDRY ALONE!
 
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I was visiting my daughter..got there and she was gone...called me to come to a neighbors house to help...guy had bought his wife a cast iron skillet...she had a short fuse I guess cause she brained him with it. He was out for more'n 30 minutes...I think alcohol may have been involved?
 
I don't buy my wife flowers anymore.

But I never did before.

This Valentine's Day she said "don't waste money buying flowers for me"

I said, "Since Valentine's Day 1992 I never bought you flowers. Why would 2023 be any different?"

Oh, and I don't do the dishes, I was told long ago that I don't do them correctly.

No problem with that!
 
What I no longer do is shut her out. I am her sounding board. When she comes home from an arduous shift I listen as she decompresses.

After a 12 today she called me a bit weepy as a resident that she was close to had passed tonight. She said that a pot of tea, pancakes and bacon and a willing ear would be comforting.

That is exactly what I gave her.
 
I never make comments about her spending habits. She has a personal $account, I have one and we have a joint account for "home economics." I used to lament tripping over the "after work pile" of Amazon, UPS, Dillards, Ann Taylor etc, blocking the door. Now that she's retired too she beats me to it. I love it when a 30lb 1K bulk box (about 6"x6"x6")of ammo get mixed in with her dump, the "look" is priceless. Joe
 
My wife hates it when I do the dishes. Says I make a mess and get water everywhere. I don't like to use the dishwasher because I don't think it gets everything as clean as I'd like.

She also hates it when I DON'T do the dishes.

Can't win, I guess. We each do our own laundry, and that has worked out since many years ago when I washed her new cashmere sweater and it came out of the dryer just about Barbie doll size. Hey, who knew? Well, I do now, but it's okay since she does it herself now.
 

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