Toilet Paper!

Baby wipes the flushable ones or check the stock of Preparation H wipes.

Fortunately folks around here seem to still be semi sane as far as the beer virus.


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All you need is a bidet.

No more toilet paper worries 😀

Or a power washer.

For that extra fresh feeling...?

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:D
 
Bidets are for ladies. Manly men, well, that's a butt washer.

Actually, nowadays, it's just a different button, bidet vs butt, to push on the Cap'n Kirk Star Ship Enterprise command seat. (Spots needing washing being in different locations depending upon, principally, gender, for the bidet button, tho both sexes find the butt washer of equal value. Plus, ya got yer forward and back, higher pressure and lower, for the fine tuning.)

In Europe, 50 years ago anyway, the bidet was a separate device located next to the toilet. ("Mom," said six year-old me, "What is that thing for?" Mom said, "Why, that is a foot washer, son.")

I think the washlet toilet seat is a major step up like the invention of TP vs finding some handy leaves. Easy enough to buy off Amazon, tho to make it look nice you need an electrician to install an outlet behind the toilet. (Or, you can buy a non electric, cold water only one. Have that in my cottage in Hawaii. Takes a bit of fortitude when the cold water hits, but beats an unwashed butt for those who have become accustomed to the custom, as it were.)

Hard to go back home once you've been to the Big City....:)
 
Back in the 1970s, a Japanese pal of mine told me that while he'd been backpacking through Afghanistan in the late '60s he'd had occasion to use the local outhouse. Upon finishing his business, looking around for some TP, all he found was a pile of rocks and a hammer.

He didn't continue his story beyond that point, but I thought at the time it would be a bad bet to mess with the Afghans.

When I first arrived in Kabul, Afghanistan in July 2004, my group of police advisors asked for and was given a rundown of local customs, dos and don'ts, etc. At one point, we were told not to pick up any small, flat rocks. I stuck my hand in the air and asked, "WHY???" We were then told that Afghans seldom had access to toilet paper and that... At that point, I stated loudly, "I think we all understand why we should avoid small, flat rocks!"

A few days later, I was assigned to a regional training center (RTC) in Kunduz, in the NE section of the country. An RTC was basically a police academy. Ours was located in a tent city 5 miles north of the city. The only sanitary facilities were a number of porta-potties. Whenever new police officers came into the RTC, the Afghan staff would instruct them to use toilet paper and do NOT to put rocks in the port-a-johns, because it messed up the pumps when they were emptied. Of course, every few days, when the honey wagons arrived, you would hear rocks hitting the impellers during the pump out sessions.

TP is a wonderful thing. :)
 
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Wonder what an exchange rate would be between TP and 9mm? 6 rolls per gallon or 15 rounds per gallon. This is National Enquirer stuff. What a world.

Today's exchange rate is a 1 karat diamond or $4,000 per roll. I am taking my stash of TP to the local pawn shop.
 

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Guys you all better get you some toilet paper.

Here in Las Vegas the coronavirus scare is causing absolute and utter panic. Every single store around me is totally out of toilet paper and most disinfectants. Guys, DO NOT WAIT.

Look what this type of thinking leads to :D
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQv5PWMzI-w[/ame]
 
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