What's the rottenest

[LazyKB]

We were always trying to get one up on each other at work. It wasn't anything to come in off vacation and find your office chair replaced with a commode. Once I opened the door and found someone had erected a tube and coupling scaffold complete with X bracing I had to crawl through. Usually it was the same guy doing the mischief.

I always took a banana as part of my lunch. I stared hiding the peels in his office. I put them behind wall pictures, taped them to the bottom of his chair, placed them behind books on the shelves. It wasn't long before the fruit flies showed up. You could see a cloud of them hanging over his desk. I would walk past his office and see him with the phone to his ear waving away the flies with his free hand. I had to stop when one day I heard the boss, four offices down the hall, yelling, "Where did all the **** fruit flies come from?"

 

[badge107]

When I was about 10 we were all eating Christmas dinner at my grand parents. There was about 20 family members eating at three tables in large dining room. I lit a smoke bomb and dropped it underneath the center of the main table. Smoke started billing out from under the table filling the room. People started jumping up running around, opening front door and windows. Burned a hole in the floor. Grand Dad busted my tail and then my Dad got hold of me. Been 50 years and Uncles and other family members still bring it up.

 

[oberon]

I need to claim the fifth. I was a rotten person, and I have two ex wives that will claim that I still am. I try to make up for it when I can.

I did a lot of rotten things.
Not pranks.
Counseling & psychoanalysis has revealed a great deal, if not all the motivation for such rottenness.
It comes a little late for guys like me.
No excuses here.
I look forward to the day when I can fix some of the damge.....

 

[durango]

My personal favorite:
Take a rubber band and wrap it around the trigger of the spray nozzle on the kitchen sink. Make sure the nozzle is aimed properly.

It's not overly involved or dastardly, but it's totally worth the price of admission.

 

[duppie]

I did a lot of rotten things.
Not pranks.
Counseling & psychoanalysis has revealed a great deal, if not all the motivation for such rottenness.
It comes a little late for guys like me.
No excuses here.
I look forward to the day when I can fix some of the damge.....

While I appreciate such honesty and/or sarcasm, I'm not sure that such a candid confession on a public forum especially in these strange times of firearm confiscations of perceived "disturbed individuals" is wise even for someone residing in Maine.
Perhaps an edit is warranted?

 

[Wyatt Burp]

I wrote my most rotten prank already. Here's an innocent juvenile one that isn't new but was funny when I was a kid. We would call up people we didn't know and say, "Is Floyd there?" and get, "Sorry. There's no Floyd here. you got the wrong number". Then a little while later we'd call back and say, "Hello, this is Floyd. Did I get any calls?" Old, innocent, but kind of funny at the time.

 

[Cholo]

My boy, about 9 years old at the time, and I were eating at a crowded Arbys. I'd brought a raisin from home and stuck it between my middle and index finger while we ate. I started making these loud zzz zzZZZzz zzzz sounds like a blowfly all the while cranking my head this way and that way as if I was following it. Other people started looking my way as I slammed my hand down on the table and deposited the raisin. It sat there about a second when I slowly picked it up, looked at it, and stuck it in my mouth. I chewed it just enough for it to stick to my front teeth while I smiled at everyone.

My boy about tossed his cookies as well as about a dozen other patrons. I think I was the only one to finish my meal. Did I mention that it was my boy that was 9 years old?

 

[redneckemt]

Why a couple of felonies been admitted to. Tampering with food exlax, or eye drops can be dangerous. Smoking (or burning) poison oak or ivy can be deadly.

Worst prank I ever pulled. Bed pan with melted chocolate bar sun drop and toliet paper. Placed in the front seat of a unit. Fake called put out. We had a puker

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

 

[Old TexMex]

Wait, wait! I got one that was pulled on me, and it's a killer.
We're having a cookout, 20+ guys and gals, all laughin it up, drinkin beer and the steak burgers are comin off the grill.

Hey Tex, here's your burger, mate! (I'm near three sheets to the wind, and holding forth with some BS) .. and my AFP buddy Billy hands me a big ol burger, all loaded up Aussie style with everything but a fried egg, I take a big bite, and thinking the meat was a little tough, I just gave a little more of a pull. It didn't come away in my choppers, so so I gave it a good solid yank.

My " friends" had placed a #64 rubber band (yeah, like you see on broccoli) on the meat in the middle of the burger. With that chomp and wrench, the entire contents of the sandwich, meat tomatoe coleslaw mayo cheese- everything but the bun- goes right on the shirt, center mass.

 

[LazyKB]

Two buddies and I went hunting in Namibia a few years back. The hunt was winding down, we had been pretty successful and everyone was in good spirits. With all of our tags filled and not much else to do but hike through the bush I started messing with people. I took a picture of my buddy answering the call and filled the guide's backpack with zebra dung. That night at dinner I ate a little too fast as I sometimes do and got a severe case of hic ups. I was making a lot of noise so I excused myself and went to the cook tent for water. A few minutes later they were gone and I returned to the table. My two buddies, the two professional hunters and their wives were all patiently waiting my return. I noticed they had half smiles on their faces. I just thought they were amused by my hic ups. We were eating outside by candlelight. I reached for my fork, which still had a piece of steak attached. I popped it in my mouth and was cutting another when the first piece began to crawl across my tongue! I spit a one inch dung beetle half way down the table. People cried they were laughing so hard. I had reaped what I had sewn. The next night when we settled around the table I reached in my pocket and pulled out my head lamp. We had another good laugh.

 

[carpriver]

I signed my friends for catalogs from Victoria's Secret, Adam And Eve and other Adult type themes. they were sent there offices. Now that here is funny.

 

[raisedin99]

In my day if you were fortunate enough to find enough pop bottles with a trade in value of 2 cents to trade in at the mom and pop grocery for a candy bar it wasn't unusual to let another kid get a bite of it. The Burns boys who lived one street over from Creamers grocery were notorious for begging a bite off of everyones candy bar but would never share theirs.

A much older friend "Dave" went into Creamers one day, the Burns boys were sitting on the front porch of the grocery store. Dave purchased a bar of Ex-Lax and a nickel bag of Planters peanuts, while in the store Dave slid the outer paper sleeve off the Ex-lax removed the foil inner cover and then strategically placed split peanuts and sort of friction fit them over each square of the laxative bar then recovered the bar with the foil and walked out the stores front door and in doing so went through the motions of unwrapping the foil from the bar...at that point here comes the Burns boys both in full begging mode "Hey Dave gimme a bite please Dave please". In an act of disgust Dave handed over the peanut laced laxative bar and said something to the effect of "here, take the whole thing a person can't even buy a candy bar without you two always begging for a bite" later that afternoon we all were in the county fairgrounds parking area playing baseball, that is until both the Burns boys had to go home cause they filled their pants...

terry

 

[Cholo]

8th grade in a tall 3 story school building: The teacher wasn't in the room when a venetian blind chord from the 3rd story enticed me in the 2nd story. My tug led to another tug from above. Hmmm... I tied it to a desk/chair and gave the chord a yank. ErrrErrrErrr as the desk screeched across the floor until it hit the old fashioned radiator heaters beneath the very tall windows. I jerked the chord, it jerked back. I poke my head out of the window to see Chris M smiling at me from above One last jerk and up the radiator the desk slowly went until it swung out of the window. EeeeEeee it went up until out of sight. Somebody's about to wonder how their desk/chair went from floor 2 to floor 3. SNAP...BLAM!!! I looked down and you couldn't have made a tooth pick out of the remnants of that desk!

Somehow I believed that person was about to know where his desk was at that given moment in time. The bell rang and we all went our merry ways, nobody the wiser. Well, not exactly... Both classes were called into one large classroom and we were to stay there until the person who pulled the desk out of the window confessed. Hey, I didn't pull it out of the window From 3pm to 5pm we all sat there, code of silence you know. Finally Chris M stood up and walked to the front of the room.

It's funny to look back on it, it wasn't funny at the time that Chris took the detentions. After Chris stood up with a sheepish look on his face, I should have stood with him as the instigator.

The folly of youth...

 

[Old 44 Guy]

I once worked for a very disagreeable man. He smoked a pipe & had put me on the S... Shift. 9:30 am to 6 PM. He left his pipe & tobacco to attend a meeting on his desk. So when I called into the test board for a case of trouble I dumped half a can of Skoal into his tobacco pouch. He quit smoking the next time I saw him, can't imagine why.

 

[LazyKB]

The best one I heard was when buddy 1 put an add in the local paper, "Free Persian kittens. Call between the hours of 12 and 4 AM." and gave buddy2's phone number.

 

[shouldazagged]

My home room in high school was the "Home Ec" room--remember those days? Included a kitchen. The home economics teacher appeared to be someone who partied a lot on weekends. She would come in on Monday mornings looking like rigor mortis on toast. First thing she would do would be to grab her jar of the awful powdered instant coffee that was just coming onto the market then, and make a cup black and very strong.

One Monday a sadistic classmate of mine emptied an entire shaker of ground black pepper into the instant coffee and mixed it well.

The results were truly pitiful. Naturally, being uncivilized little pre-humans, we loved it.

 

[adwjc]

This was a stunt I pulled on some guys I worked with on the midnight shift, not as kid.

Got a hold of this polymer powder that solidifies liquids into gel like substance - I knew this was the perfect cure for our office coffee nut, who dictated and took over the type we drank, the brand, how fresh, etc.

Got the powder, went home took some of the wife's sweetner packs, slit them open and dumped the sweetner out, guess what - it is identical to the polymer stuff.

Next Monday, go to work and switch out the real sweetner packets for the "special" ones. Our victim comes in, throws out the pot that's there and brews new one, then he adds his stuff, cream, "sweetner" stirs and picks up the cup w/o looking at it - goes to his station about 10 feet away - the cup is still hot to touch, but solid. He freaks out, yelling at everyone, most of whom had no idea what was going on.

He dumps out the coffee pot, brews a new one, pours a cup, is all set to put cream in it says "oh no, I'm not falling for that again" throws out the whole container of cream and opens some of those little (artificial)creamer packets and pours two in his cup, stirs it in, goes "ha!" and then adds the "sweetner" packets. Doesn't look, just walks to his station again and sits down. Without looking he goes to drink and tips his cup - again, hot to touch, flexible but solid gel. He went berserk all together that time, called the on duty boss and claimed some one was trying to poison him. By the time the boss came in, the real sweetner was back, he couldn't duplicate the problem. He started bringing thermos after that.

BTW, that stuff set so fast, I wasn't worried that he would actually ingest it, it solidified as soon as you poured it in, I think it was intended for some clean up of toxic spills - you sprinkled it on liquid spill and you could shovel it up as a gel.

 

[shouldazagged]

That's very nice!

Many years ago I had a weird brother-in-law who was a grad student in physics at the University of Virginia. For some reason known only to him he called me "the Red Baron". Once he sent me a letter addressed to the Baron, challenging him to an aerial duel over the trenches in France. He said that since dueling was illegal he had enclosed a map written in invisible ink. He said to place it in a cup of cold water and immediately cover it with a saucer. After five minutes the map would appear. There was a little square piece of apparently blank paper enclosed.

I figured I would just get a soggy piece of blank paper; but my then wife said, "Remember, this is Larry who sent you this. He's more devious than that."

So I followed the instructions--cup of water, drop in the "map", cover the cup, wait five minutes.

When I removed the saucer, the paper was gone. Nothing at all left.

Some of his friends who were chemistry grad students had been developing a water-soluble paper for industrial applications.

After I stopped spluttering my wife reminded me that the date was 1 April.

 

[Cholo]

Someone else mentioned those ketchup/mustard packs and it reminded me of this: We were about 12 and had just finished banana splits at the local Woolworth's with the obligatory squeeze bottle mustard fights. After being tossed from the establishment, I lifted about 10 packets of mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise while retreating to a bench outside the strip mall's grocery store. There was a car parked parallel to the store front. Hmmm... The car would have to back up before exiting the parking space. I wondered what might happen if I lined up all the condiment packets right behind the front wheel with 2/3rds of the packets about to be run over, the other 1/3rd being the end of the barrel so to speak.

A woman comes out of the grocery store and enters the vehicle while myself and 2 friends watched. Sure enough she started to back up. We expected the packets to splatter the store's windows, but little did we know... Right then another woman was leaving the store with 2 brown paper sacks full of grub. I believe all 10 packets bulls eyed her dead center, nice clothes and all.

To this day I still can't believe the things we did in broad daylight and nobody ever saw a thing. One of life's great mysteries I guess...

 

[jgh4445]

Introduced my used to be best friend to my ex wife...he married her....best one I ever pulled!