What's your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

[fat tom]

I've been hearing a lot of these lately. Let me hear 'em! Here's a few examples:

The boogeyman is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When the Incredible Hulk gets really pissed off,he turns in to Chuck Norris.

When things get really out of control,the National Guard calls in Chuck Norris.

f.t.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

Bullseye

 

[Grog]

Walker Texas Ranger.

 

[moonclip]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.


......moon

 

[NFrameFred]

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer . . . but Chuck Norris has never cried

Some soaps/sanitizers claim to be able to kill 99.9% of germs . . . Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever-the-**** he wants to . . . .

 

[los]

Sharks have a week devoted to Chuck Norris.

The BP oil well was plugged by Chuck Norris' pinky. He is still there.

 

[JayCeeNC]

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris.

 

[Wheelgunner840]

-Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down.

-When Chuck Norris stares at the sun, it blinks first!
(I actually made that one up!)


WG840

 

[Ronald617]

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris got into a staring contest with a portrait, and won.

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Everybody loves Raymond, except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can deliver a roundhouse kick to your face, with his fist.

 

[MATTHIAS]

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with a beef jerky.......saw it in my Chuck Norris calendar.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with a beef jerky.......saw it in my Chuck Norris calendar.

Now that right thar's funny, I don't care who you are.


Bullseye

 

[los]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uncycle.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris taught The Kraken how to act.

 

[arrowhd]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

 

[Strato]

What happens if you flip off a room full of ninjas?

Nothing if you're Chuck Norris.

 

[Chili Vega]

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Every night before he goes to bed, The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

[Dennis The B]

There is no evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

 

[Rangerpat]

Only Chuck Norris can Prevent Forest Fires!

 

[Walter Rego]

The reason Chuck Norris has a beard is that he got tired of pounding the whiskers back in with a hammer and biting them off from the inside.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

The reason Chuck Norris has a beard is that he got tired of pounding the whiskers back in with a hammer and biting them off from the inside.

We have a winnah! I laughed so hard I spewed. Thank you, Walter!!!!


Bullseye

 

[viceunit]

Each year Chuck Norris picks one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


In a fight between Darth Vader and Superman, who would win? Chuck Norris.

 

[mr.magnum]

the two i have in mind are too vulgar to post here. someone might get offended.

 

[NFrameFred]

Chuck Norris took a flight on Virgin Airlines . . . now they're just known as "The Airlines"

 

[truckemup97]

Chuck Norris made the big bang, just by snapping his fingers.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Chuck Norris won the 1983 World Series Poker. He held a Joker and a Get Out of Jail Free Monopoly card. The board flopped a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
To this day they call it the "Chuck Norris" hand.
Chuck Norris can swallow a rubik's cube and three minutes later throw it up solved.

 

[bubbiesdad]

 

[ServiceGun]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

[mgjohn]

Chuck Norris's secret hide out is at the center of the sun.

 

[lowhog]

I can kick Chuck Norris butt. Now thats funny !!!

 

[kmyers]

Chuck Norris is who watches over the The Watchmen.

The Comedian was the funniest one of the bunch.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

Bullseye