Who Told You That You Could Call Me By My First Name?

[NYlakesider]

Personally it doesn't bother me at all. It tells me I make people feel comfortable enough around me to call me by my first name. I do understand the respect aspect you refer to and in some cases I do feel it's justified. If I called you by your first name it's not that I don't have respect for you, it's just that I feel comfortable enough around you to do so. But that's just me.

When I grew up, (born mid 1940s) some people were Mr/Mrs and other people were Tom or Carrol. Most times even as a kid you know who was who. With that kind of a background I have no problem being called by my first name. For about the first few years after I got married and meeting people and they called me Mr Lakesider, I started looking around expecting to see my father.

My father was Italian a first born in this country(1906) and rather a stick in the mud as far as protocol and was a bit quick to get offended by others. No fights or anything but it definitely rankled him, even I had to be careful of what I said to him.

My kids (now in their forties) have no problem with me and think nothing of calling me old man/old timer other pleasantries also. Not a problem with me, in fact I appreciate we have a good enough relationship for them to do that or pull jokes on me. No way could I do that with my father


FWIW my first name is Dave!

 

[Golddollar]

I still call persons older than me "Mr." and "Mrs." until told otherwise, and I'm retirement age. If someone calls me "Mr." I rarely ask them to do otherwise because I figure that is how they show respect, just as I was taught to do.

One nice custom I discovered in eastern PA was the custom of calling friends of the family "Aunt" and "Uncle" even though they are not related. I think that creates a nice compromise between formality and familiarity. I am still "Uncle Randy" to a number of grown up children of friends. I called the uncle of a close friend "Uncle Kenny" because to me that represented the kind of relationship I had with my friend's uncle.

 

[Lee in Quartzsite]

Just another old tradition that has fallen by the wayside. Most old formalities are only remembered by the older generation because the younger folks have never been taught anything else by their parents. We recently visited our grandkids and while there we had dinner with them twice. Both times as soon as the kids were finished eating they departed the table to get back to their video games and phones. I was always taught to remain at the table until all were finished, and then we asked permission to leave the table. We raised our daughter the same way, so I was pretty dismayed at the lack of respect shown in her house.

I only ask that people call me the same name to my face as they do behind my back.....

My grandkids call me Grand Pa Lee

 

[Leatherhead23]

What's the issue? It IS your name, isn't it?

 

[Snapping Twig]

It bothers me greatly when a kid calls me by my first name, very much so.

The little kids across the street were calling me by my first name, so in front of the parents I asked them how old they were. Then I told them that since I was sooo old and they were sooo young, they should call me Mr. (first name). They thought it good, I get a small victory and they learn respect.

First names are for friends and family and those you choose to let use it, not for wet behind the ears little kids who haven't made their bones yet.

I let my daughter know that there was a butt warming in store for her if she ever called ANY adult by their first name, whether they said it was OK or not. She now has gainful employment, motivation and respect for those around her and expects it in return.

 

[ColbyBruce]

Life is too short to bother with trivial things. If you are truly concerned with the way you are addressed, then take the time to politely correct every person who offends you; it is the only way they will know.

I could care less how people address me as long as it contains no profanity. My favorite name is "granddaddy".

 

[WardenRoss]

Sounds like I need to change!

My sons call me POPS and I politely asked my daughter-in-law to call me POPS and she still calls me by my first name. I believe it's in her personally to act as an equalizer, if you know what I mean.

Times have changed. Thanks for letting me air this out here. Can't do it anywhere else!

 

[Simson-Suhl]

My best friend of sixty years I have always called "Slick" and he has always called me, "Shorty". We have made a shooting team together. And for the usual names, for years I was a training instructor, and they use to tell some of the new recruits, "We are sending you to Captain Jack." My first name is Philip. I have no idea who started the "Jack" name, probably some Chief I worked with. I still have people address me as. "Captain Jack."

 

[Absalom]

From the perspective of a (former) foreigner:

The one thing about the US that strikes many people from other cultures with more formal social manners (pretty much all ) is that everybody calls everybody by their first name. And that's not a new thing; it puzzled me when I first came here 40 years ago.

In the old country, your mechanic at the car dealer will have a name tag that says "Mr. Floppenbeiner", even if he looks barely 18. Here, the name tag says "Chuck" and you never know his last name.

It took about 20 years and an alcohol-fueled neighborhood party for my folks and the neighbors to formally agree to switch to first-name basis. That still does not apply to me when I go back to visit.

So when I came to the US and started working as a clerk at a hotel, I was quite uncomfortable that I was supposed to address the general manager as "Brian". That was so crassly ... American

As I learned, if you want to be reliably addressed as Mr. every day without being rich, your only chance is to become a teacher. And even that can get iffy at the high school level.

 

[hoosierone]

Sometimes I'll tell people they don't have to call me sir, I was enlisted.

 

[WuzzFuzz]

Hmmm....When I lived in the south, and sometimes there after, if the folks knew me, they referred to me as Mr. (first name only).

I thought it was kind of strange at first, then just decided it was a southern thing...

No offense was taken.


Mr. WuzzFuzz......Kind of has a nice ring to it, don't you think?


WuzzFuzz

 

[pawngal]

I'd rather be called by my first name than called "Hey You!"

 

[Xfuzz]

Just make sure to call me.......for dinner.

 

[walkinghorse]

Many days I have problems remembering people's names, especially if encountered in a place I would not normally see them. No discourtesy intended, so I fall back to a lifetime of sir or ma'm. Most likely related to the stroke about 5 years ago, but sure age has entered into it.
My wife is good about advising me of my error or saying the persons name first.

 

[nachogrande]

AS LONG AS IT IS SAID RESPECTFULLY (FOR ME)

Others place/have a different sense of self worth, or value of a former tittle. Life goes on. Dad earned a doctorate degree later in life, we still called him Dad. Even he agreed that someone calling him Dr was pompous/pretentous. We had a drunken, know it all, blowhard at hunt camp (1 year). He was called "THE GENERAL", it wasn't out of respect. A rose by any other name.

 

[Ole Joe Clark]

9 times out of 10 I insist they do.
The 10th one is probably some butt hook and don't last long around me anyway.


Anybody no matter what age that holds a door or serves me coffee or such gets a "Thank you Sir, or Ma'am. It's amazing how far a little bit of respect goes.

What he said.

Have a blessed day,

Leon

 

[chief38]

JUST DON'T CALL ME - - - LATE TO DINNER!!

 

[PatAz]

I simply prefer being called by my first name and I tell people that.

 

[CLASSIC12]

Funny, I've been doing business in the US with hundreds of American citizens for 25 years, and as far as I remember every body calls each other by their first name, even senior people, high ranked company officers, CEOs. I always start by Mr so&so but I immediately get the "call me Chuck" (or Tom, Dick, Harry).

 

[TTSH]

I guess I just learned today of a problem I don't have. No problem with people I know using my first name. As for total strangers? I can't recall any stranger addressing me by anything other than my last name or both names. That wouldn't make much sense.

++++++++++

Funny story, however... One of my many specialist doctors used to work closely (many years ago) with my PCP in the same hospital, now long closed. Suffice to say, they were on a first name basis with each other.

During my first appointment with the specialist doctor, and it has continued ever since, he only refers to my PCP by his first name and, in fact, the short version of that name.

Well, you don't know the confusion that caused since I have never once in my life addressed any of my medical doctors by his or her first name, short version or otherwise! At first, I couldn't even imagine who the heck this new doctor was talking about.

I told my PCP about it later and he just laughed. Inside joke between the two I guess.