Why I Don't Talk To People About Concealed Carry

Smoke

Smoke

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This is a topic that comes up frequently and I thought maybe I could address it from a different perspective and instead of asking if I should tell people talk about why I don't.

In the past 6 months or so there have been two threads started by people that decided to start conversations about guns with people they didn't know and neither conversation ended well.

In one the OP starts a conversation with a salesman in his office who clearly doesn't know a whole lot about guns and at some point in the conversation the salesman asks him "Are you carrying a gun now?" (Because gee no one saw that coming) and when the OP doesn't say "No" fast enough the salesman correctly concludes that the OP is carrying a gun.

In the second the OP starts talking guns with some half drunk person he met in a bar and tells this random stranger that he is armed( yeah, because that couldn't go wrong). The random stranger then proceeds to start a fight and ask the OP if he can borrow his gun to settle the score (Again, did not see that coming).

People I don't know well don't need to know the details of my life; there just isn't any reason for it. My experience has been that the less most people know about me the better off I am. As for friends I've mentioned previously that I've had some really bad experiences that were directly related to telling a "friend" who really wasn't a gun guy that I had a permit. He then proceeded to share my business with a bunch of people I don't know.

If I can keep that kind of hassle out of my life by simply keeping my mouth shut I'm all for it.

There are very few people I'll talk guns with in the real world, most of the time if I want to talk guns I come here. I don't give strangers any reason to assume I might be armed. I don't start conversations about guns at work and if people around me do I don't participate.
 
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Found this on the Western Rifle Shooter's Association site...there's a certain logic to it.


The Grey Man is always invisible in plain sight.

The Grey Man is totally aware of his environs, his own capabilities or lack thereof, his weaponry and his levels of competence with that weaponry. He constantly strives to improve upon both his capabilities and competence. In public, he is always respectful, even to the point of obsequiousness if the situation calls for it. He always appears to be just a little confused by what is happening around him, while in reality he is alertly doing a tactical assessment.

The Grey Man NEVER draws attention to himself by word, dress, action, or mannerism. The Young Grey Man is dismissed as a wimp, the Older as a doddering old fool. The Grey Man derives great inner satisfaction from having this portrayal of himself accepted by all he meets, for it means he is succeeding in his disguise of his actual persona.

The Grey Man is a private man. He practices with his weaponry in private, or only with his fellow Grey Men, always in a secluded location. If he must resort to use of a public facility, he schedules his practice for times when he is likely to be the only one there. At such times he would probably wear bright clothing, to be remembered only as 'that guy in the red jacket and sunglasses', a quite different person from his usual persona. If right-handed, he would always occupy the leftmost station on a NRA bullseye pistol range, with his back to an observer, or the rightmost one for riflery or combat pistol practice. He would not have his name emblazoned on clothing or equipment, nor would he have any noteworthy affiliation proclaimed on his cap. "He's just a guy. Comes every Wednesday morning for his coffeebreak. Always pays cash."

The Grey Man does not drive a pink Cadillac with steer horns on the hood, NOR does he drive the biggest mutherin' 4X4-with-all-the-bells-and-whistles BOV in the lot. The older his vehicle is, the rustier, the less likely it is to draw attention (or to be stolen, for that matter). This vehicle is, under its exterior, scrupulously maintained and in excellent running order. If pulled over by authority on the basis of appearance, it can be shown to meet or exceed all requirements under licensing laws, and an obsequious co-operative manner precludes a search under the seats. The Grey Man does not speed on the highway: cruise control is his friend. So is the Highway Patrol: he waves to any he sees. If he travels the same route constantly, at the same times, The Grey Man becomes a 'fixture' and can be dismissed from conscious observation.

It helps the Survivor to build up this persona of The Grey Man gradually and over time. The anti-gun sheeple neighbors will quickly rat out the 'Patriot' who is always loudly declaiming about his 'Rights' and 'what will happen if they try to take my guns'. The Grey Man goes far out of his way never to offend anyone, imitating the duck which appears calm on the surface of his pond whilst paddling like hell under the surface.

Be seen as conservative in all you do. A Survivor is a Grey Man, and that little old grey man alone over there in the corner is probably a Survivor!

And that young guy next to him? Just another wimp? Or are they both watching each other's backs?

Making the other guy waste precious time in assessing the situation is a big part of staying alive. Practice being grey now, while there's time to build your skills.

Western Rifle Shooters Association: Next Steps: The Grey Man
 
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Bat Guano said:
Found this on the Western Rifle Shooter's Association site...there's a certain logic to it.


The Grey Man is always invisible in plain sight.
Click to expand...

Snipped

The only thing I disagree with here is the idea of being the only one at the range.

I make a point of not going to the range alone people have been murdered and their guns stolen doing that.
 
The people I work with, I would say at least 70%, which is probably conservative, all have CCW's, including myself. With the exception of work (federal installation) where we can't legally carry, we are always armed. That said, several of us spend time at the range, etc. We are very tight knit. If you don't know me though, you won't know I'm carrying. As stated, concealed is concealed.
 
Anyone who I would share that info with already knows, everyone else it's none of their business. Most of the ones who do know have their CC permits.
 
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I was behind a car in traffic with a Don't Tred on Me license plate (brilliant yellow) and the letters spelled something to the effect that the driver was "ticked off." A "Glock Perfection" sticker on the back window completed the picture of the Bright Orange Man out for a drive.
 
69camfrk said:
The people I work with, I would say at least 70%, which is probably conservative, all have CCW's, including myself. With the exception of work (federal installation) where we can't legally carry, we are always armed. That said, several of us spend time at the range, etc. We are very tight knit. If you don't know me though, you won't know I'm carrying. As stated, concealed is concealed.
Click to expand...

I am retired military and still work on a major federal installation as well so don't carry at work. The guys I work with took me to the range and I was hooked and went from 0 handguns to 4 in two years and my wife and I hit the range weekly. My civilian friends have no idea I carry, and I know some would be shocked from their offhanded comments about guns, so I don't bring it up. When I see an open carry person and the reaction if gets from a majority of the citizens they come in contact with, I'm convinced that CC is the way to go even if the law allows people to open carry. If others want to let people know they carry by open carry, or by talking about it, it's their right. I just agree with the folks that don't.
 
Guns??? Carrying a gun??? I'm just here for the Lounge! :D

Several people at work know I hunt and I assume that they know I own firearms, but don't mention that I carry even though most own guns and quite a few carry. Just feel better not talking about it.
 
Smoke said:
This is a topic that comes up frequently and I thought maybe I could address it from a different perspective and instead of asking if I should tell people talk about why I don't.

In the past 6 months or so there have been two threads started by people that decided to start conversations about guns with people they didn't know and neither conversation ended well.

In one the OP starts a conversation with a salesman in his office who clearly doesn't know a whole lot about guns and at some point in the conversation the salesman asks him "Are you carrying a gun now?" (Because gee no one saw that coming) and when the OP doesn't say "No" fast enough the salesman correctly concludes that the OP is carrying a gun.

In the second the OP starts talking guns with some half drunk person he met in a bar and tells this random stranger that he is armed( yeah, because that couldn't go wrong). The random stranger then proceeds to start a fight and ask the OP if he can borrow his gun to settle the score (Again, did not see that coming).

People I don't know well don't need to know the details of my life; there just isn't any reason for it. My experience has been that the less most people know about me the better off I am. As for friends I've mentioned previously that I've had some really bad experiences that were directly related to telling a "friend" who really wasn't a gun guy that I had a permit. He then proceeded to share my business with a bunch of people I don't know.

If I can keep that kind of hassle out of my life by simply keeping my mouth shut I'm all for it.

There are very few people I'll talk guns with in the real world, most of the time if I want to talk guns I come here. I don't give strangers any reason to assume I might be armed. I don't start conversations about guns at work and if people around me do I don't participate.
Click to expand...
I think the problem has to do with how a lot of gun owners perceive guns. I can't explain it but I notice how guns are treated as some sort of a awe inspiring thing. People have to show them off, play with them, polish them never sell them or regret selling, ooh and aaah over them. This I don't get. To me its just a thing. I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases. To me it would be like saying he guys come check out the new socks I bought. Or hey look at this new box of detergent. They are all just things I buy for use
 
All of our relatives, friends, and neighbors know my wife and I both carry.
 
Arik said:
I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases.
Click to expand...
+1
I have 2 gun buddies that share an interest in S&W revolvers. We talk about new finds, etc. on a casual basis.
Most of my other gun buddies aren't anymore interested in a newly acquired S&W treasure than if it were a High Point, Jennings, Daisy, etc.
It is good to have someone to talk to with similar interests. One of the reasons I enjoy this forum.
 
moralem said:
My father, rest his soul, would always tell me , "Son, you are far less interesting than you think you are" , which taught me to be cautious about what I say and to whom.

He also admonished me to...." Keep a brilliant idea to yourself, in the event it isn't."
Click to expand...

I have a sign (that only I can see) taped to my desk that says "Never fail to take advantage of a good opportunity to SHUT UP"
 
This is a topic that I give a lot of thought to and the reason I do is because I've made the mistake. When I first started carrying a gun I joined the NRA and I got the hat and wore it everywhere I went. I found out that it drew unwanted attention as did the NRA stickers on my car.

I also made the mistake of telling people that were friends of mine. One guy dropped me and another proceeded to spread the word to everyone he knew and continued to do so after I asked him not to.

So it's a lesson I've learned the hard way but there's more to it (IMO) than just not telling people that I have a CHP. I've said it before but when it comes to co-workers or acquaintances (not close friends) my personal life stays personal.

My experience has been if you go out of your way to attract attention to yourself you'll usually succeed. I don't discuss politics, I don't discuss religion and I avoid any other controversial topic as much as possible. I don't wear clothing with logos of any kind (except a couple of hats that say Alaska or Estes Park)

Rumor has it that one of our guards was removed from a site because a client employee was offended that he could hear the guy listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. Obviously I have no way to substantiate that but the lesson is taken to heart.

Occasionally I run into people that don't just advertise they announce. I trained a guy a couple of years back; part of the training includes company/client firearms policy. In the middle of that segment of training he flat announced that he had a permit and asked if I did as well. I looked him dead in the eye, said "Nope" and continued with the training. My concealed carry status is on a need to know basis and if you aren't immediate family (and not always then) you don't
 
Arik said:
I think the problem has to do with how a lot of gun owners perceive guns. I can't explain it but I notice how guns are treated as some sort of a awe inspiring thing. People have to show them off, play with them, polish them never sell them or regret selling, ooh and aaah over them. This I don't get. To me its just a thing. I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases. To me it would be like saying he guys come check out the new socks I bought. Or hey look at this new box of detergent. They are all just things I buy for use
Click to expand...

To develop this line of thinking a bit further, I also sometimes feel like gun owner overdramatize the way "non-gun people" view guns. I've had a license and carried when appropriate since Oregon went "shall-issue" back in 1989, that's 25 years now, so yes, all my long-term friends, no matter where they are politically, know by now that I have a CCW and carry; when we head on outings into the woods, it's pretty much assumed that I carry a gun on me somewhere, and since they all know me really well, it's not a big deal at all. Of course, this is Oregon, where the old equation "liberal = anti-gun" has never really worked anyway. Of course I would never tell a stranger that I was carrying or even had a permit, certainly not in a bar like mentioned in an earlier post. But to me it's not warranted to treat it like a deep dark secret either.
 
NEED TO KNOW ONLY!

If you can't keep a secret, don't expect anyone else to. I don't care if it's a "friend"/spouse/other CC'r, unless it REALLY needs to be brought up, then don't. I've had complete strangers at LGS's tell me how they have 100's of guns and 10's of thousands of rounds of ammo at home. I usually tell them, "that will be me following you after you leave to see where you live".
 
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