YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.......

[the ringo kid]

I got through this and came to the conclusion I'm not a redneck but just a good ol' boy. I shop at lots of stores liquor, sporting goods, tractor, book, etc.. My hair is bit on the long side so no sun on my neck.

I know what bathroom to use but sometimes in some fancy restaurants I get confused by their cute signs that don't just say mens or woman. The last time I made a mistake they told me being confused wasn't a good enough excuse.

Your lucky. Me, when I go workout at the gym, I can't wear my glasses because I sweat rivers. I can't see very far either. Twice, I walked into the ladies lavatory, but realised something was wrong when there were no urinal stalls. Luckily, no ladies were there that time. Anyway since, they painted the entrances to the ladies lavatory, red, the men's, blue. Or is it the other way around?

 

[italiansport]

We used to have a saying when I lived in Illinois:
If you can't find what you need at the Kane County flea market of Farm & Fleet your not a real redneck!

 

[PatriotX]

The Big R, a tractor supply/farm store, has just expanded into foodstuffs.

Get your ammo, baby chicks, Carhart, and Mac&Cheese in one stop!!!

 

[shouldazagged]

You know your wife is a redneck if the lavender fake-fur cover of your toilet seat lid matches the chenille doll skirt of the cover for the spare roll of toilet paper. You may also be a redneck if she had to throw away the matching rug...

 

[rwsmith]

Gun stores, hardwares stores...

On the drive home from picking up four pound of powder at the LGS, the wife commented, " you know you might be a Redneck if the only two places you shop are gun stores and Tractor Supply". That woman knows me better than I know myself.

I really feel at home in gun shops and hardware stores. Dilbert, the comic strip character couldn't drive past a hardware store. It would try to suck him and often sucked off his clothes.

Generally, guys easily get the humor in this.

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

Add to Tractor Supply & gun stores......Lowes & Home Depot......and you got me too.

 

[Chuck24]

You know your wife is a redneck if the lavender fake-fur cover of your toilet seat lid matches the chenille doll skirt of the cover for the spare roll of toilet paper. You may also be a redneck if she had to throw away the matching rug...

That's not Redneck, that's just poor aim.

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

You might be a redneck if the first thing you do after cranking up the coffee pot is go to a gun forum on the internet.

Does before count?

 

[Salty RI]

You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

 

[SC_Mike]

"...If you take your kids photos with a game camera."

 

[TXSWFAN]

If your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.......

 

[JohnK]

if your front porch falls in, and it kills at least three dogs..............

 

[GatorFarmer]

The Big R, a tractor supply/farm store, has just expanded into foodstuffs.

Get your ammo, baby chicks, Carhart, and Mac&Cheese in one stop!!!

Is Big R a sort of quasi independent chain like IGA stores? Here we have Shiptons Big R stores. But other than the candy aisle, they do not sell groceries.

 

[charlie sherrill]

Two of my favorites: If you take a beer to a job interview. If you go to a family reunion to meet girls.

 

[cbore]

Love Redneck jokes but most of the strike to close to home and apply in my life.- Mississippi Boy

 

[Fishslayer]

If your toilet valve repair involves monofilament, a plastic bead & a Carolina keeper...

 

[Mydogmax]

If you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.
Courtesy of "Jeff Foxworthy"

 

[soFlaNative]

7 out of my 10 trips to the grocery store are for meat, charcoal and beer.

 

[two-bit cowboy]

Is Big R a sort of quasi independent chain like IGA stores? Here we have Shiptons Big R stores. But other than the candy aisle, they do not sell groceries.

You mean that sour apple licorice I get there ain't groceries? Well, I'll be....

 

[bushmaster1313]

If you did not know that golfers only wear a glove on one hand and you tell the clerk at Golfsmith that you need a pair of right and left hand golf gloves because you hold your shotgun with both hands.

True story.