Surviving menopause

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Stevie

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I've suspected my lady is undergoing the change. Have suspected it for a year or more...and lately her emotional swings have became worse.

She's been to the doctors and had blood tests without any results that has prompted the doctors to tell her anything is wrong. However the extreme mood-swings...her age..other premenopause/menopause symptoms too. I would say the conclusion is obvious...my lady is well on the road to menopause. However she seems to be in denial...and the doctors are not diagnosing it either

I've been coping as best I can...but I cannot even do that right. I can't do nuthin' right I'm told. I ain't sure the marriage is going to survive this unless I can come to grips with the situation...and it isn't good on my 16 year old son...he get to be a victim of the rage too.

So how does a man cope?....I need some advice
 
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Maybe the best way to handling it is by telling her, hey honey we got to do something about this or our marrige is going in the **** hole. Honesty is the best way to go my friend, not trying to sound like doctor Phil or anything but tell her how you feel or ask her how she feels and try to get through it. Best of luck to ya Stevie.
 
"So how does a man cope?....I need some advice." You love her. You pray for her. You encourage her. You do everything you can to be understanding of her. As I've heard it said, you don't just expect her to "deal with it!" And, having done all of the above,... you love her just like you promised you would when you married her.
 
I don't know how long you've been married so this will be based on my 35 yrs. I start out every morning saying I'm sorry this covers my bases for the day. I also married her cause she was/is great so I'm willing to put up with her mood swings. The mean does go away then comes the hot flashes these can be hard on both of us I end up freezing 80% of the time. But you know what she has put up with a lot of **** from me, motorcycle wrecks, spine injuries and this S&W obession of mine so in my opine it all works out cause she's still my best friend. Hope all goes well with you and you remember why you married her and keep hanging in when she is having issues with something she has no control over.
 
You might consider a second opinion, preferably from one of your wife's closest friends. A relative or someone she trusts. If you believe this person is trustworthy talk to her about your concerns. Perhaps she will be able to give you a better perspective. And a second opinion from another doc might also be in order, someone who specializes in women's issues. In the meantime do a lot of tongue biting. Most regrets in relationships come from saying things in anger / frustration that we later wish we could take back. Good Luck.
 
So what do I tell my son?....."hey kid...this will only last two to eight years"...????
 
Oh I can't wait until my wife goes through this. More hot flashes than a Bolivian rain forest and more mood swings than a psychiatric hospital. Joy.
 
You've gotten some pretty good advice. I went through a lot the doctors couldn't diagnose either.

One of the differences between men and women, from what I understand...is usually women just want you to listen and not try to "fix" right right away. Be as sympathetic as you can while you listen, empathize as much as possible, and then ask if she wants suggestions on what to do. If she does, the guys have given you some good advice here and if you want I had some premenopause and hormonal trouble the docs couldn't do a thing for...it involves some eating habits and herbs. Many people dismiss these things, but hey, if the doc's not helping, what have you got to lose? Ask me if she wants to know some of the things I tried and used to help me cope.
 
captorquewrench said:
Men are tough, stringy, and bitter. They don't taste very good either. I think the BS in the bloodstream contaminates the meat. ;)
Click to expand...

Huh?...Well..I did get chewed up and spit out last night. I wasn't aware I was responsible for every stinking thing(big or small) that's wrong with out relationship!....I am now though.
 
Keep in mind that she feels like ****,somebody is to blame and you are handy.It will take a lot of patience.Some seem to sail through it and others don't.Some go through it fairly fast and some seem to take a decade.I wouldn't want to do it again.
 
"Yes Dear"......................these are the magic words to say to the wife. :D

Doesn't matter if you agree with what she said or not .... just say "Yes Dear" and go on with what you were doing. :D

This advise is worth what you paid for it. ;)

Don
 
brucev said:
"So how does a man cope?....I need some advice." You love her. You pray for her. You encourage her. You do everything you can to be understanding of her. As I've heard it said, you don't just expect her to "deal with it!" And, having done all of the above,... you love her just like you promised you would when you married her.
Click to expand...

The only advice I could add to this is to stay out of the line of fire as much as possible. Maintain a low profile. Tough to do, I know.
 
Stevie said:
Huh?...Well..I did get chewed up and spit out last night. I wasn't aware I was responsible for every stinking thing(big or small) that's wrong with out relationship!....I am now though.
Click to expand...

I was kidding. But you bring up a point..my husband always muses, "If a man is alone in the woods, is he still wrong?" and then he answers "yes" i forget nnot everyone jokes about gender differences and stereotypes like we do.
 
Dart gun. With tranquilizer darts. Get the kind where she only takes two steps and hits the ground. And use the looooong acting tranqs.

Seriously, there's nothing you can do. Except get her to a Dr. that knows this stuff. You go with her. My lovely bride of 30+ years wears a hormone patch. It kept Jimmy from living somewhere else with less than half his stuff. Ill tell you how serious I am on this. We used to go to bed and I'd reach over and tune in Tokyo, if you know what I mean. Now, I reach over and make SURE the patch is on! If not, I go get it! Trust me on this.
 
Stevie said:
So what do I tell my son?....."hey kid...this will only last two to eight years"...????
Click to expand...

The truth. At his age, he should know what is going on with his Mom. Don't sugar coat it or minimize it. It's a "dangerous" time for the whole family. If things seriously derail, he will be one of those suffering most. The material can be presented without causing panic.
 
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