[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T2hygHu8CI[/ame]
Annoyed at thread drift
- Thread starter geddylee10002000
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12 packs for me.
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMpYSj9J9dw[/ame]
vonn
US Veteran
Ike and Tina had a show at the NCO club when I was younger and stupider. Spent all my money on whiskey sours and thought I was going to die. Felt bad for three days! 17 years old and knew everything worth knowing. Been there,done that,and have the T shirt!
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
I was escorted out of the Shaw AFB NCO club once.
They should mark the bathrooms better.
They should mark the bathrooms better.
Psychiatrist vs. Bartender
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.";
"How much do you charge?";
"One hundred fifty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" He asked.
"Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.";
"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?";
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.";
It's always better to get a second opinion.
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.";
"How much do you charge?";
"One hundred fifty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" He asked.
"Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.";
"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?";
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.";
It's always better to get a second opinion.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
vonn
US Veteran
Come to Houston the blanks here are voting to open the ladies bathrooms to any guy who is feeling a little girly!
vonn
US Veteran
I am laughing Snub! Always some humor here when you need it.
I am sitting here inventorying trick or treat candy for an upcoming event. Each time I count the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups there is one less. Help me understand.
BECAUSE DERE WAS BACON ON DEH UDDER SIDE!!!
To watch the man lay bricks?
Wow. Took me long times to ketchup! I missed you guys soooooooo much!
Eeeeexcellent Drifting the past coupla days.
Much LOL-ing!!! This place is better than a therapist's office.
Gotta go rent "Young Frankenstein". So many great lines in that flick.
Welp. That'll do it for me for now, gang.
I'll be back again soon. Can't stay away too long. Ketchup'in time is limited.
Anyone out there want some black walnuts? We gots tons!
Night-night! Peace.Love.Hugs.
Eeeeexcellent Drifting the past coupla days.
Much LOL-ing!!! This place is better than a therapist's office.
Gotta go rent "Young Frankenstein". So many great lines in that flick.
Welp. That'll do it for me for now, gang.
I'll be back again soon. Can't stay away too long. Ketchup'in time is limited.
Anyone out there want some black walnuts? We gots tons!
Night-night! Peace.Love.Hugs.
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