Have you ever wanted to...?

fiasconva

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As my wife and I were leaving the grocery store this morning we walked past a store employee leaning against the wall by the exit staring down at his phone completely oblivious to his surroundings and what was going on around him. My adolescent brain immediately started working and I asked my wife, "Have you ever wanted to walk up behind someone like that and yell BOO! at the top of your lungs?" She said, "You're really sick, you know." Anyone else ever thought of doing that? :D
 
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Seeing "phone zombies" is a regular occurrence every time we are out in public. I'm not sure setting off an M-80 at their feet would get their attention. If you do or say anything it would strictly be for your entertainment. Since I don't judge, I say "have at it"!;)
 
As my wife and I were leaving the grocery store this morning we walked past a store employee leaning against the wall by the exit staring down at his phone completely oblivious to his surroundings and what was going on around him. My adolescent brain immediately started working and I asked my wife, "Have you ever wanted to walk up behind someone like that and yell BOO! at the top of your lungs?" She said, "You're really sick, you know." Anyone else ever thought of doing that? :D
My fantasy is more like seizing the phone, it now having become an appendage to the owner's arm, and smash it with a hammer while saying "Have a nice day!" This especially applies to people holding the phone up in front of their face while driving as they wander all over the road, or sit through a green light while others wait behind them. It applies almost equally to retail employees who ignore customers while they are off in their vacuous virtual world.
 
More and more I am seeing Boomers in retail establishments doing the finger dance on their smartphones.

Also, the web is peppered with videos of pranksters sneaking up on and scaring the socks off the unsuspecting often resulting in impromptu dentistry.
 
I learned my lesson early....

As a kid we 'crashed' a girl's slumber party and I told a rather scary ghost story. Everybody was scared and laughed except for one girl who was so horried that she covered her eyes with her hands sobbing and nothing anybody said could bring her out of it. It was an awful experience and I never told that story again.

Oh, this does remind me of a joke...

A dude was crossing the street minding his own business when a rowdy cowpoke came up to him:

"Dude, have you ever danced to save your life?"

"I can't say that I have, mister?"

At this the cowpoke draws and shoots at the dude's feet and emptied his revolver while the dude danced like crazy. When the cowpoke shot his last round he laughed and holstered his pistols. Whereupon the dude produced a .45 Derringer and asked the cowpoke:

"Mister, have you ever kissed a mule's ***?"

The cowbody thought, then said, "No, but I always wanted to."
 
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More and more I am seeing Boomers in retail establishments doing the finger dance on their smartphones.

Don't know about other Boomers but I have a shopping list app I use when I go to the market. Needed items are added beforehand then the list is sorted according to location in the store.

Unfortunately the time I save shopping is negated in the checkout line.
 
I have lots of thoughts.. some noble, some nefarious... but since I never wanted to be
messed with while I was on break or just getting off work... no, I would leave him alone... do onto others... no matter how fun it would be.
 
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Working retail this has become one of the most common sights of every day............. People blind to the world around them, absorbed in their electronic world. Other than getting after some of our employees (who are supposed to be working) I generally just shake my head and figure that sooner or later reality will bite them. I have watched some of them walk into poles, shopping carts, shelves and other people which can be entertaining. On break it's common to see near misses in the parking lot and at least a couple car accidents were clearly due to driver holding their phone instead of looking where they were going.
 
The ones with hard phones/ear buds/etc. are the ones that get me. Situational awareness of a rock, completely unsafe. When we had Bozo, a very intolerant and protective dog, I would call out to others about their preferred path so I could be polite and take a different path. The idiots with something in their ear made my life unduly hard and several of them were introduced to Ermey's dictum from FMJ.
 
Don't know about other Boomers but I have a shopping list app I use when I go to the market. Needed items are added beforehand then the list is sorted according to location in the store.

Unfortunately the time I save shopping is negated in the checkout line.

Well now I order from my desk top computer, have it delivered, and check progress via their texts on my flip phone!
Smiles, "boomer Mike"
 
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