Apparently Chivalry is dead

P&R Fan · Jan 19, 2013

I read in the newspaper yesterday a column by a young Woman about the fact Chivalry is apparently dead.
She says a study shows 82% of Women today want to pay for their meal on the first date. Only 33% want men to open doors for them. Only 10% would take an offered seat. Less than 33% have received flowers in the past year.
What's up with that?

I was taught from childhood to always be a Gentleman. Apparently, that is not a positive thing today. The study goes on to say more than half of Women say Chivalrous encounters are so rare they arouse suspicion. I have found it amusing when I have been with a Woman who is putting on her coat and I will gently take it from her and assist her in putting it on. I have often gotten amazed looks, and they say "Wow, nobody does that anymore!" Well, Ma'am....I do.
Anybody else out there a dinosaur like me?
Jim

bitstream · Jan 19, 2013

Dinosaur here... I hold open doors, etc. every day. Just part of my DNA.

leswad · Jan 19, 2013

I think the bra burning killed it long ago. However I am still a southern gentleman.

Art Doc · Jan 19, 2013

How often do you hold a door for a stranger, or let them into traffic, or do some other minor nicety and there is no thank you or even any acknowledgment of your kindness? It's a brave new world.

tork'd · Jan 19, 2013

i still open ms tork'd's door, do the chair thing, treat her with respect and do get a lot of looks when doing so out in public when in the "cities".
was also raised to open doors for women like the other dinosaurs here. never thought at my age i'd be a dinosaur thou.

4Js · Jan 19, 2013

If I didn't do all those things you mentioned, with the addition of ending every sentence with 'ma'am', my mother would leave the rest home, hunt me down, cut a small willow branch, and blister my backside.

fat tom · Jan 19, 2013

f.t.

harrison12 · Jan 19, 2013

Sirs -as a member of the opposite sex, I am happy that you feel the way you do and were brought up to be as you are. I still appreciate a door being held open, being helped with my coat and having a chair pulled out. I'm also thankful that I live in a small town where courtesy is still expected and is still a way of life.

Don't believe everything you read in the papers!

USFireman · Jan 19, 2013

Count me in. Still a dinosaur and raising my boy to be the same. Matter-of-fact my oldest daughter had a date (ugh) last night and commented afterwards how the boy walked her to the door after and he's the first one to ever do that. I told her that is how it should be always.

- Michael
FDNY 343
John 15:13

redlevel · Jan 19, 2013

SaxonPig said:
How often do you hold a door for a stranger, or let them into traffic, or do some other minor nicety and there is no thank you or even any acknowledgment of your kindness? It's a brave new world.

I very seldom get to town, but I do these things when I do, and I almost always get some kind of positive acknowledgement. Especially from ladies, but often from men too when I let them in traffic.

kozmic · Jan 19, 2013

I was taught that being respectful doesn't cost a dime.

Fishslayer · Jan 19, 2013

I'm a door opener & holder. Usually the older ladies smile & say "thank you."

Sometimes the younger gals just walk on through as though I'm not there. That's OK. I get to check out their bee-hinds as they're walking away...

Guess I'm a chivalrous pig...

amazingflapjack · Jan 19, 2013

4J's-We use a Hickory in the South, son, and the blistering takes a shorter time to produce!

labworm · Jan 19, 2013

I wish it was like that back in the 60's, I would definitely be a rich man today.

I do remember a young lady taking me out to dinner after she found out I won $5000.00 in a football pool, she was very nice to me.

Mickey D · Jan 19, 2013

fat tom said:
f.t.

At least you aren't this guy.

Fishslayer · Jan 19, 2013

SaxonPig said:
How often do you hold a door for a stranger, or let them into traffic, or do some other minor nicety and there is no thank you or even any acknowledgment of your kindness? It's a brave new world.

People like to talk about California drivers but here it's not uncommon for drivers to let another car out of a driveway, make room at a bottleneck, etc. Very rare you don't get a wave & a smile back.

Try that in Boston...they still use hand signals there and it usually involves the middle finger.

Snakeshift · Jan 19, 2013

Chivalry IS dead. And Women killed it.

I'm strictly speaking on my Generation (I'm 25). Frankly with Smartphones, txting and all that other **** people have their heads stuck so far into their phones, that holding doors etc.... never even comes to mind.

Now, I was raised like many here (Be a Gentleman) but even when I try to be Chivalrous Girls/whomever rarely even acknowledge my presence.

Beemerguy53 · Jan 19, 2013

I actually have a framed copy of the Code of Chivalry hanging in a prominent place in my home. It's from 12th Century France, and I got it years ago at the Maryland Rennaisance Festival. Here's how it reads:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches and shalt observe all its directions.

Thou shalt defend the Church.

Thou shalt respect all Weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.

Thou shalt love the country in which thou wast born.

Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.

Thou shalt make war against the Infidel without cessation and without mercy.

Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties in accordance with the law of God.

Thou shalt be generous and give largesse to everyone.

Thou shalt be the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

With the exception of that stuff about making war against the Infidel, I try to follow the Code every day...

4Js · Jan 19, 2013

I had just boarded a shuttle bus at a large airport and was dog tired. I had my laptop and my carry on bag. The bus quickly filled up, and just before the doors shut, a woman who had obviously had a bad day boarded the bus and walked down the aisle and stood near my seat.

I looked around and saw that it was standing room only. I stood up and said, "Here you go, here's a seat for you ma'am."

She spat out, "I don't need your 'bleeping' seat."

I said "Well, I can't sit in it as long as a lady is standing ma'am."

I'm standing there with my hat in my hand, Wranglers, and boots. She looked at me for a moment and said, "Your real, aren't you. Your doing this for real not for some other reason."

"Yes ma'am."

She smiled and said, "Thank you." As she sat down she asked, 'Where are you from?"

"Raised in Oklahoma, now living in Wyoming ma'm."

She said "I live in Manhattan, sorry for the way I acted."

We had a nice conversation to the next gate.

I'm not relating this story so you guys will say, 'Gee you're a nice guy.' I'm just relating it to show how good manners can brighten up someone's day

Faulkner · Jan 19, 2013

Snakeshift said:
Chivalry IS dead. And Women killed it.

That's what I was thinking . . . I thought women wanted it this way.

Apparently Chivalry is dead

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