9/11 Thoughts

tripledipper

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I remembered 24 years ago tomorrow waiting to hear from two NYPD sons who were first responders and then spent a couple of months in assignments searching for human remains in the debris or at the landfill. Anyone who was a first responder was affected by the experience somehow and many have unresolved PTSD issues to this very day, and it is estimated 50,000 of them have died from 9/11 related diseases. The toll from this experience caused changes in mental health and lifestyle behavior going forward and I have lost one son which I attribute in part to 9/11 and I implore anyone who is still troubled from military or first responder experiences to seek help to resolve their issues and go forward with their life.
 
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I was home getting ready to go to work when my wife called from her job and told me to turn on the TV, and we were still on the phone when we saw the second plane hit. I don't know what made me do it, but my wife told me later that the moment it happened I said "Bin Laden."

In the coming months we joined the entire country, and most of the world, in declaring that we would never forget. What happened?
 
I served at Ground Zero of the WTC from September 14, 2001 until November 14, 2002. I was part of a small team of psychologists skilled in police work. We and our Peer Support Officers (specially trained NYPD Officers) debriefed more than 5000 NYPD members of service. It was the greatest time of my life and the most terrible time, and it took me well over 10 years to deal with the PTSD I had from that time. I would do it all over again if I had to, but I hope I don't have to. Forgive me, but I like to think I served my country while I was there. I still speak to and see most of the cops I worked with in our unit. Forever friends and brothers.
 
I was home getting ready to go to work when my wife called from her job and told me to turn on the TV, and we were still on the phone when we saw the second plane hit. I don't know what made me do it, but my wife told me later that the moment it happened I said "Bin Laden."

In the coming months we joined the entire country, and most of the world, in declaring that we would never forget. What happened?

That was almost exactly my situation. I was home getting ready to go on vacation when my wife called from work. I turned on the TV in time to see the second plane, and immediately said, "It looks like the work of Bin Laden".

The other side of that coin was when we left on vacation the next day, everywhere we went, cars were flying little American flags on radio antennas, windows, wherever they could get one to stay. I wish we were still that united today.
 
We were at work when it happened. We heard the news but I don't think we watched the news till that evening. My main memory of that day, we live in the country and I routinely would sit outside and have a few beers and just enjoy the good weather. All of a sudden I was noticing no jet trails through the air. That's something you would see every evening but not really notice, but when they were no longer there, it was an eerie feeling. I didn't even think about it but it was my older sister's birthday. She would often say it ruined her birthday for the rest of her life. She passed away about a year and a half ago.
 
I was the Captain of a mid-town fire engine. We had a ladder company in qtrs with us. That companies Captain was killed. We lost every person working in the battalion. I got off work the night before. I recovered my relief March 20, 2002 and gave him to his father and brothers to carry out. He and I had also responded to the '93 bombing together.
I didn't get PTSD. My psychologist said,"we never expected to encounter someone like you...someone so primed to deal with 9/11"
As part of a management development program I was assigned as our Chief of Department's executive assistant at the beginning of 1997. Everyone in the program was also given a research assignment. I was assigned "terrorism". I went to all the big meetings with the 5 star. We were told at a meeting with Army Counter-Intelligence that sometime in the future we would respond to an incident and lose 300 firemen, 50% of them would never be recovered.

I was told by a regular participant of those meeting sometime around the 16th or 17th, "No matter what anyone tells you about this, always remember 'Able Danger' ".

I had my nightmares in '97,'98,'99.

A year and a half after the last time I was down there I did a detox paid for by Tom Cruise and Paul Newman. I could smell that WTC stench coming out in my sweat, my feces, and my urine.

I had read about this process back in the 80's in "Fire Journal". It was developed by Walter Reed to help soldiers who got contaminated/poisoned while destroying our chemical weapons.

I'll be down at my firehouse tomorrow as usual. We will comfort each other as we always have.
 
Wife and I had just dropped of our son and daughter (4 and 2) at daycare at about 740 am central. We were listening to KLBJ radio and the had just reported it. Dropped wife off at work in downtown Austin and went to work. I walked in and coworkers were around a tv. I was in shock at 31 years of age.

How could this happen in America? Confusion and emotions went thru me.

Went home later with family and had kids print their hands on a stepping stone kit we have been saving for Halloween. We still have that stepping stone in our garden.

We will never forget.
 
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