The 110 grain .357 was actually a moderate load, and not the one suspected of cracking forcing cones. The culprit was the .357 125 grain. The 125 grain was what my Dept. issued for those carrying .357 revolvers. I did see a k-frame or two with damaged forcing cones, and one Python with a damaged forcing cone.
I've owned several 9mm revolvers, i. e., Ruger Blackhawk and SP101, S&W 547s, a 940 and a 686 conversion. I've used +P, +P+, NATO, and equivalent hand loads. I haven't put thousands of rounds through any particular 9mm revolver, but have certainly never seen any indication of degradation, or actual damage to any of the forcing cones..