How do you get the drummer off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Pay him for the pizza.
Annoyed at thread drift
- Thread starter geddylee10002000
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Diff between a drummer and a pizza?
Pizza will feed a family of 4.
Pizza will feed a family of 4.
How do you get a drummer to stop playing?
Throw sheet music at him.
Throw sheet music at him.
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
Homeless.
How can you tell a drummer is at your door?
The knocking speeds up.
The knocking speeds up.
All is not lost.
For Tim's birthday.
vonn
US Veteran
Grand daughters spending the week end and I am tired! Hope everyone has a good drift,I am going to sleep. Little people really keep you hopping but I sure do melt when they turn on the charm.
A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops. Its WWI, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.
He goes up to the first man and says: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies: "sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful." The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can." The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the second man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: "Sir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave." The general laughs and says: "It happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can." The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the third man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier tells him: "sir, I got strep throat in the trenches." The general asks: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "Actually sir, there is one thing... I'd like to be the first one to use the brush."
He goes up to the first man and says: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies: "sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful." The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can." The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the second man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: "Sir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave." The general laughs and says: "It happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can." The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the third man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier tells him: "sir, I got strep throat in the trenches." The general asks: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush." The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "Actually sir, there is one thing... I'd like to be the first one to use the brush."
I don't normally regale you with the travails of my day because B: It's boring and 3: It's boring, but I spent a chunk of my day in the ER.
The biopsy plugs they took from inside my ear yesteday opened up. Because I take Xarelto ( I know, if I experience death, I am eligible for compensation) the bleeding would not stop.
I walked up to the desk with my finger in my ear and the nurse said "what is the problem"?
I pulled my finger out, blood squirted out and I said, "my arm's gettin tired".
Try driving a 5 speed with one hand. Good thing I know all 8 of the basic ballet movements.
The biopsy plugs they took from inside my ear yesteday opened up. Because I take Xarelto ( I know, if I experience death, I am eligible for compensation) the bleeding would not stop.
I walked up to the desk with my finger in my ear and the nurse said "what is the problem"?
I pulled my finger out, blood squirted out and I said, "my arm's gettin tired".
Try driving a 5 speed with one hand. Good thing I know all 8 of the basic ballet movements.
Roadtrash
US Veteran
Hey Snubby, I just read that a female Bigfoot with long brown hair was seen in Virginia and she was carrying a baby bigfoot. You ain't been fooling around on those mountain hikes have you? Some say she might be heading for West Virginia, just saying.
Bahamaroot
Member
I think I'll have a few peanut butter M&M's now.
Roadtrash
US Veteran
Uh-oh, the next page will be 440. I bet I know what that will bring for you Mopar fans.
BigCityChief
Member
Good night, Drifters!
BigCityChief
Member
Sorry - I couldn't wait.[emoji15]
Roadtrash
US Veteran
It's okay you were really close anyway.
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