Six Dollar Dave
Member
My grandfather prospered in the late 60s and early 70s as a cotton and soybean farmer, so that when he died in 1978 he left my grandmother with a very nice house located on 80 acres, with a stock pond and what we jokingly called the lake(a 5 acre body of water).
The house was located atop a hill, that gently rolled down to the lake on the left, with hardwoods on the right, and a gravel drive winding it's way up the middle. Very picturesque.
It took a couple of days to mow the place, due to the sheer size of it. My grandfather had a Ford lawn tractor that was used for mowing, a job my grandmother took over when he died.
After my return from the Navy, I had taken a job with Xerox, and moved about 20 miles from my grandmother, who would not even consider selling the place and moving to town. I would go out on the weekends to help with the place, but she prided herself on her independence and her ability to do her own gardening and mowing.
My grandmother was no slouch on the lawn tractor and could easily have the place mowed in 2 to 2.5 days. Her only fault here was she would sometimes get a little close to the lake's edge and get the mower stuck. No amount of warning could change her mowing techniques and she regularly got the mower stuck. When this occurred, I would get a call as soon as I got in from work. I would normally change out of the coat and tie, and head out to the rescue.
On this particular Tuesday, I didn't bother to change, when I got the call. I just told the wife what was up, and that I'd be back in an hour or so.
When I arrived at my grandmother's, she was waiting patiently by the mower. I stopped on the gravel drive and walked the hundred or so yards to the mower. It was really stuck this time. She had "buried" it. The more she had worked at it, the deeper it had gotten. I told her that we were going to have to pull it. She agreed and went to fetch a length of rope. When she returned, she backed her Ford LTD down as far as she dared, got out and handed me the rope. I tied one end to her bumper and the other I attached to the mower's front axle. I told her to get in her car and gently take up the slack and while she did that, I would push the mower from behind. As soon as the mower was free, I would jump on it and drive it until she came to a stop. She was ok with the plan and we proceeded to put it into motion.
At first, all seemed well. She gently eased into it, the roped tightened and as I pushed the mower began to move forward. As the machine cleared the soggy ground, I jumped astride the beast and began steering it to keep it straight behind the car. It soon became clear that my grandmother's intentions were to drag the mower to the gravel drive, so I settled in and kept the mower in line behind the car.
As my grandmother came to the drive way, instead of seeing the stop lights that I was fully expecting, I saw that LTD, powered by a 390 cubic inch power plant, fish tail twice as my grandmother poured the coal to her. I yelled for her to stop as I dodged gravel that was thrown in my direction, but nothing doing. I soon realized her intentions and my predicament. We were going to the house!
As we accelerated at an alarming rate it dawned on me that this machine that I was astraddle of, was designed to go probably no more that 2 miles per hour.. I now estimated our speed at a blazing 18 miles an hour and accelerating every second....Funny how the mind works....
I knew my only hope of living through this Arkansas tractor pull lay in my ability to keep the mower straight. If I let it get crooked, it would flip over and the thought of me sliding along the gravel drive at 20 mph was not something I wished to think about. Yelling at her to stop seemed to increase our speed as I can only guess she thought I was egging her on and probably enjoying the ride. My hands gripped that steering wheel with a force Superman couldn't duplicate as I struggled to keep that little tractor straight. I remember thinking that I didn't even tell the kids that I loved them before I left.
By now I figured our speed at nearly WARP factor 4, as we were fast approaching the crest of the hill, and the house, and the carport. Just when all seemed lost, I found I was beginning to get things under control and I began to rally. No longer thinking of an ignominious death while being towed on a lawn tractor, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. No the light wasn't a train. Do you remember those tail lights I expected to see when we pulled onto the gravel drive? Well brother, I was seeing them now. She was stopping....Funny how the mind works....
As quick as a wink my mind was thinking, a lawn tractor that was only designed to go 2 mph probably doesn't have 4 wheel disc brakes. Probably not even 2 wheel disc brakes Heck, it may not have any real breaks at all.
Now her break lights were getting brighter and that little LTD emblem was growing larger with each passing nano second. And I could see my reflection in that shinny, chrome, real metal bumper.
As my grandmother slid into the carport on tires squealing their protest at the sudden shift in momentum, I was yelling "No" at the top of my lungs, but knowing full well she was gonna stop. The back wall of the carport was the front wall of a brick house. Not much of an option. And the LTD did have disc brakes!
I stood on that break pedal with all I had. I could feel the rear tires of the tractor lock and begin to slide as they tried to dig in and stop our forward progress. Just as I thought, "Nope, it ain't gonna stop",.... it did. With about 6 inches to spare.
My grandmother flew out of the car and headed for the door to the house. Without so much as a glance in my direction she yelled over her shoulder," Come on in and wash your hands, I've got supper almost ready". I was dumbfounded! She didn't have a clue as to what had just happened. As I bent down to untie the rope, with my fancy Xerox tie askew, my shirt tail out, and my knees still shaking, my only thought was, '"Meatloaf?" ...Funny how the mind works.
The house was located atop a hill, that gently rolled down to the lake on the left, with hardwoods on the right, and a gravel drive winding it's way up the middle. Very picturesque.
It took a couple of days to mow the place, due to the sheer size of it. My grandfather had a Ford lawn tractor that was used for mowing, a job my grandmother took over when he died.
After my return from the Navy, I had taken a job with Xerox, and moved about 20 miles from my grandmother, who would not even consider selling the place and moving to town. I would go out on the weekends to help with the place, but she prided herself on her independence and her ability to do her own gardening and mowing.
My grandmother was no slouch on the lawn tractor and could easily have the place mowed in 2 to 2.5 days. Her only fault here was she would sometimes get a little close to the lake's edge and get the mower stuck. No amount of warning could change her mowing techniques and she regularly got the mower stuck. When this occurred, I would get a call as soon as I got in from work. I would normally change out of the coat and tie, and head out to the rescue.
On this particular Tuesday, I didn't bother to change, when I got the call. I just told the wife what was up, and that I'd be back in an hour or so.
When I arrived at my grandmother's, she was waiting patiently by the mower. I stopped on the gravel drive and walked the hundred or so yards to the mower. It was really stuck this time. She had "buried" it. The more she had worked at it, the deeper it had gotten. I told her that we were going to have to pull it. She agreed and went to fetch a length of rope. When she returned, she backed her Ford LTD down as far as she dared, got out and handed me the rope. I tied one end to her bumper and the other I attached to the mower's front axle. I told her to get in her car and gently take up the slack and while she did that, I would push the mower from behind. As soon as the mower was free, I would jump on it and drive it until she came to a stop. She was ok with the plan and we proceeded to put it into motion.
At first, all seemed well. She gently eased into it, the roped tightened and as I pushed the mower began to move forward. As the machine cleared the soggy ground, I jumped astride the beast and began steering it to keep it straight behind the car. It soon became clear that my grandmother's intentions were to drag the mower to the gravel drive, so I settled in and kept the mower in line behind the car.
As my grandmother came to the drive way, instead of seeing the stop lights that I was fully expecting, I saw that LTD, powered by a 390 cubic inch power plant, fish tail twice as my grandmother poured the coal to her. I yelled for her to stop as I dodged gravel that was thrown in my direction, but nothing doing. I soon realized her intentions and my predicament. We were going to the house!
As we accelerated at an alarming rate it dawned on me that this machine that I was astraddle of, was designed to go probably no more that 2 miles per hour.. I now estimated our speed at a blazing 18 miles an hour and accelerating every second....Funny how the mind works....
I knew my only hope of living through this Arkansas tractor pull lay in my ability to keep the mower straight. If I let it get crooked, it would flip over and the thought of me sliding along the gravel drive at 20 mph was not something I wished to think about. Yelling at her to stop seemed to increase our speed as I can only guess she thought I was egging her on and probably enjoying the ride. My hands gripped that steering wheel with a force Superman couldn't duplicate as I struggled to keep that little tractor straight. I remember thinking that I didn't even tell the kids that I loved them before I left.
By now I figured our speed at nearly WARP factor 4, as we were fast approaching the crest of the hill, and the house, and the carport. Just when all seemed lost, I found I was beginning to get things under control and I began to rally. No longer thinking of an ignominious death while being towed on a lawn tractor, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. No the light wasn't a train. Do you remember those tail lights I expected to see when we pulled onto the gravel drive? Well brother, I was seeing them now. She was stopping....Funny how the mind works....
As quick as a wink my mind was thinking, a lawn tractor that was only designed to go 2 mph probably doesn't have 4 wheel disc brakes. Probably not even 2 wheel disc brakes Heck, it may not have any real breaks at all.
Now her break lights were getting brighter and that little LTD emblem was growing larger with each passing nano second. And I could see my reflection in that shinny, chrome, real metal bumper.
As my grandmother slid into the carport on tires squealing their protest at the sudden shift in momentum, I was yelling "No" at the top of my lungs, but knowing full well she was gonna stop. The back wall of the carport was the front wall of a brick house. Not much of an option. And the LTD did have disc brakes!
I stood on that break pedal with all I had. I could feel the rear tires of the tractor lock and begin to slide as they tried to dig in and stop our forward progress. Just as I thought, "Nope, it ain't gonna stop",.... it did. With about 6 inches to spare.
My grandmother flew out of the car and headed for the door to the house. Without so much as a glance in my direction she yelled over her shoulder," Come on in and wash your hands, I've got supper almost ready". I was dumbfounded! She didn't have a clue as to what had just happened. As I bent down to untie the rope, with my fancy Xerox tie askew, my shirt tail out, and my knees still shaking, my only thought was, '"Meatloaf?" ...Funny how the mind works.
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