Dear All357mag,
You have been selected for an audit of your last 7 yrs of income taxes. Please report to your local IRS office with all pertinent receipts and all weapons that you own. Leave the weapons at the front desk. Failure to comply will result in your workplace being ordered to submit your entire paycheck to the IRS to cover any possible shortage of taxes. The audit should be completed within ten years. Also, your State will be asked to suspend your driving license until this matter is resolved. Your Gas, Water and Electric suppliers have been notified to cease all services to your residence under the Patriot Compliance Act. Under the new Mobile Healthcare regulations, you and your family will not be treated by any Dr or Hospital due to having weapons in your home. In order to protect your children from your reckless behavior, and to get them medical attention when needed, you will need to surrender them to Childrens Services. They also will not be permitted to attend school until this is done. We are sorry to take these measures but your government knows what is best. This can all be avoided if you will peacefully surrender your Red Ryder BB gun which we believe you have had since your 10th birthday. Thank you Sir. Have a nice day.
Your friendly IRS, BATF, and United Nations.
