Yes, it's true. At approximately 10 years of age, I turned on public broadcasting on the TV, probably because the other 3 stations were showing news. Suddenly I saw something strange. It was a man, with a very large backpack, banging 2 halves of a coconut together. In front of him was another man, this one in armor and wearing both a sword and a crown. He was pretending to ride a horse. I thought to myself, "That's worth a look.'
At that moment, I was inducted into the Cult of Python. Or Monty's Irregulars, as we like to call ourselves. Some might say ten is a little young to be choosing an entire way of life, but I have no regrets. I dare say it's a better choice than some supposed "adults" make.
The cult is fairly benign. No calls to chase the comet or overthrow the government. You don't have to give your money to anyone nor is there any child abuse. You are however encouraged to spread the word.
The signs of a cultist are pretty obvious, if you know what to look for. A stuffed rabbit with big, sharp, nasty , pointy teeth is a dead giveaway. A little more subtle is a t-shirt that says,"Well I didn't vote for you." But the truly knowledgeable look for the tattoo. Usually across the back, but sometimes more hidden the Latin phrase Semper Python is like a badge.
There are certain rules which must be followed, and always using a silly walk in public can be tiring, but they are pretty easy to follow. Especially as my body has decided to contribute to the silliness of my walk all on its own. Punishments are harsh, to some, but the denial of Spam is seen as a good thing by many cultures.
In conclusion, my membership in the cult has brought me up from my hard early life. I no longer have to get up 2 days before yesterday to eat my third of a Cheerio with my 2 brothers before working 53 hours a day, 23 days a week, at the slaughterhouse removing pig rectums with my teeth before coming home and sitting down to a nice meal of polonium with an aged Drano to go with it. But you try and tell the young people of today that......
At that moment, I was inducted into the Cult of Python. Or Monty's Irregulars, as we like to call ourselves. Some might say ten is a little young to be choosing an entire way of life, but I have no regrets. I dare say it's a better choice than some supposed "adults" make.
The cult is fairly benign. No calls to chase the comet or overthrow the government. You don't have to give your money to anyone nor is there any child abuse. You are however encouraged to spread the word.
The signs of a cultist are pretty obvious, if you know what to look for. A stuffed rabbit with big, sharp, nasty , pointy teeth is a dead giveaway. A little more subtle is a t-shirt that says,"Well I didn't vote for you." But the truly knowledgeable look for the tattoo. Usually across the back, but sometimes more hidden the Latin phrase Semper Python is like a badge.
There are certain rules which must be followed, and always using a silly walk in public can be tiring, but they are pretty easy to follow. Especially as my body has decided to contribute to the silliness of my walk all on its own. Punishments are harsh, to some, but the denial of Spam is seen as a good thing by many cultures.
In conclusion, my membership in the cult has brought me up from my hard early life. I no longer have to get up 2 days before yesterday to eat my third of a Cheerio with my 2 brothers before working 53 hours a day, 23 days a week, at the slaughterhouse removing pig rectums with my teeth before coming home and sitting down to a nice meal of polonium with an aged Drano to go with it. But you try and tell the young people of today that......
