Handloads equal out the two as far as power. I use 138 grain wadcutters at 900fps out of a two inch barrel. That is 9mm performance, since almost all of the bullet is in the case it uses less powder than a longer OAL, which translates into less muzzle blast. Initial kick is strong, but rubber grips soak it up. If you want to use lighter HP bullets the case can be trimmed to 19mm. I trim cases to 23mm to get a light load 105 grain at 800fps with minimal recoil, and almost no muzzle blast.
A few decades ago IIRC correctly federal made a rimmed 9mm, but it was dropped because some numpties used it in 38 S&W revolvers.
One of the reasons semi autos work so well is they throw slightly lighter bullets very fast with less powder. That comes out to less muzzle flash, which increases muzzle flip. So instead of getting the muzzle rise of a revolver it is more of a solid kick to the arm.
A 9mm will have more energy than a 38, but less recoil than a 357. IMO it is more controllable. I do not have a 9mm revolver, but do have a 625, and a CA .40 Pitbull. The pitbull is manageable with standard loads. Much more than a 357, and from the figures I have seen outperforms the 357 in a short barrel.
If Smith, or Ruger decides to make a 10mm revolver I will be jumping on it fast.
