Why don't women know how to ski?
Because it doesn't snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Because it doesn't snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Man Jokes-Read if you dare
- Thread starter CAJUNLAWYER
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quneur
Member
Why are women like dog poo?
The older they get the easier it is to pick up.
The older they get the easier it is to pick up.
Hillbilly77
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Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. Adam asked what a woman was. God said, "A marvelous. creature! This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Of course the rest is history......................
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. Adam asked what a woman was. God said, "A marvelous. creature! This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Of course the rest is history......................
Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Because she's a woman.
pineappleshooter
US Veteran
How do you make a woman have multiple screaming orgasms?
Who cares?
Who cares?
Hillbilly77
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None... They'll just sit in the dark and complain about it.
None... They'll just sit in the dark and complain about it.
Hillbilly77
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A man came running into the house, screaming to his wife in celebration.
"Honey! Great news! We just hit the lottery jackpot! Start packing!"
His wife said "That's great news! What should I pack?"
"I don't care! Just get out!"
"Honey! Great news! We just hit the lottery jackpot! Start packing!"
His wife said "That's great news! What should I pack?"
"I don't care! Just get out!"
Chik a Boom
Member
You all had me laughing, really good jokes, thanks. However, I must throw in one for a slight rebuttal:
God told Man that he would find good and obedient wives in all corners of the earth.
Then He made the earth ROUND, and laughed and laughed and laughed...
God told Man that he would find good and obedient wives in all corners of the earth.
Then He made the earth ROUND, and laughed and laughed and laughed...
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Caj
Your BEST post yet!!!
FANTASTIC - I will definitely get some mileage out of that one!
Your BEST post yet!!!
FANTASTIC - I will definitely get some mileage out of that one!
dereksfl
Member
In a "nutshell" this answers why I don't have one! Who knew?
OLDSTER
Member
LMAO at all these !!!!
LouisianaJoe
Member
The wife walks in and asks her husband, "What's on TV?"
He answers "Dust"
He answers "Dust"
LouisianaJoe
Member
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and is asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
The local Sheriffs deputy pulled Ole over. Ole asked why. The deputy said "Ole, Lena fell out about a mile back!" Ole breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Oh, good, I thought I was going deaf".
We are all gonna get in SO much trouble with this.
Jim
We are all gonna get in SO much trouble with this.
Jim
Hillbilly77
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We are all gonna get in SO much trouble with this.
Not me....
Mrs. Hillbilly doesn't know my screen name.
I can deny everything.
