Squarebutt
Member
Does she have a brother or sister with whom you could have a quiet talk to ask if she has a reason for such behavior? Perhaps there's an old misunderstanding that's bothering her. Good luck.
Question on what to do
- Thread starter BigBoy99
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An earlier poster has suggested this, but perhaps consult your sibling who is the parent?
I agree, fundamentally, that it rankles when gifts are not acknowledged. I have a nephew like that, too. Good kid. Well raised. Perplexes me why he doesn't say "thank you" for gifts...
But I also agree gifts are no strings attached.
(I'm sure that's real helpful!
)
I agree, fundamentally, that it rankles when gifts are not acknowledged. I have a nephew like that, too. Good kid. Well raised. Perplexes me why he doesn't say "thank you" for gifts...
But I also agree gifts are no strings attached.
(I'm sure that's real helpful!
)The OP is close to 90 so the nieces and nephews have to be around 40? Hardly youngsters. 
He has gifted 5 figures to each, that’s not like a gift card to XIpingmart.
He has also gifted to all over the years, with only one non response, this is not a one time event.
Falls into the no excuse category.
He has gifted 5 figures to each, that’s not like a gift card to XIpingmart.
He has also gifted to all over the years, with only one non response, this is not a one time event.
Falls into the no excuse category.
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I would not admonish or single out 1 person. Take the upper road. Treat all equally. Simple
BLACKHAWKNJ
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The Man also said "Do not cast your pearls before swine."
Family is important, but if they are unappreciative, disrespectful, make it clear they want nothing to do with you, have an inflated sense of entitlement..
There is the story of the wealthy man who in his will bequeathed to his children his firm belief in hard work and thrift
Family is important, but if they are unappreciative, disrespectful, make it clear they want nothing to do with you, have an inflated sense of entitlement..
There is the story of the wealthy man who in his will bequeathed to his children his firm belief in hard work and thrift
LoboGunLeather
US Veteran
I have two grown sons, nine grandchildren, ten great-grandchildren (so far). With the two daughters-in-law and spouses of grandchildren this little branch of the family now numbers over two dozen people.
No matter how large the pie may be the slices would be pretty thin when cut up equally.
Our choice, which has been communicated to all of them, is that our estate will be used first for our needs as long as we live, then the remainder will pass to the two sons in equal shares. The two sons will determine what happens after that point in time.
Both sons are over 50 now, and I have strongly suggested that the inheritance be maintained and invested to assure their own retirement needs with the probability of growing the estate in a similar manner for their own children (mostly grown now also). You may have it, or you may spend it, but you cannot spend it and still have it.
I have made several bequests to individuals, such as my military decorations, a favorite shotgun, a few vintage firearms, things that I know will be appreciated most by a particular person.
No matter how large the pie may be the slices would be pretty thin when cut up equally.
Our choice, which has been communicated to all of them, is that our estate will be used first for our needs as long as we live, then the remainder will pass to the two sons in equal shares. The two sons will determine what happens after that point in time.
Both sons are over 50 now, and I have strongly suggested that the inheritance be maintained and invested to assure their own retirement needs with the probability of growing the estate in a similar manner for their own children (mostly grown now also). You may have it, or you may spend it, but you cannot spend it and still have it.
I have made several bequests to individuals, such as my military decorations, a favorite shotgun, a few vintage firearms, things that I know will be appreciated most by a particular person.
I'm not sure what I would do, either. But, when we lost our parents, six weeks apart back in 2007, one of my older sisters was going through my mom's debit card reports in the bank statement. It showed that when my mom let my little sister have her card for when she would pick up things for her at the store. Sister only had the card for a weekend and withdrew about $2500 from the ATM, quite a few transactions. She had a drug problem at the time, so we knew where the cash went. So, my older 3 sisters & I were deciding whether or not to take the money out of her share that she basically stole when it was time to divide up our parents' assets. We decided just to let it go and split everything up evenly. My little sister's gone now, as is my second oldest sister. We had no regrets of penalizing her if we had taken that money that she blew up her nose. She straightened out, but the damage to her liver was too much.
Hopefully your niece will at least attend your funeral, but your soul will be at rest when you go if you give her the money. Good luck, and keep on ticking.
Hopefully your niece will at least attend your funeral, but your soul will be at rest when you go if you give her the money. Good luck, and keep on ticking.
One might ask, when was the last time you contacted your niece?
Giving of one's time, if nothing but a card or phone call, goes a long ways in any family relationship. Unconditional love, needs no thank you. But personal contact brings many smiles and memories. Leave this world with smiles and memories.
Giving of one's time, if nothing but a card or phone call, goes a long ways in any family relationship. Unconditional love, needs no thank you. But personal contact brings many smiles and memories. Leave this world with smiles and memories.
As usual, you have a way of seeing right into the heart of a matter.
BLACKHAWKNJ
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One Great Lesson of Life is that if you simply do not "click" with people-even after years-then there is no relationship other than a formal one and it's not worth trying to cultivate one. In my church there was an older man-94 to my 74. A retired Army Reserve officer, LTC, like me. In 15 years we never "clicked", when he was in the hospital and I visited him in my capacity as a Deacon I could see he wasn't interested, I was interfering with his TV watching. I had a "friend" at work, was something of a mentor to him-he left without saying goodbye. My friend who was spurned by his niece said they haven't seen each other in years, he notes when he spends time with his brother and SIL they don't mention her, as far as he's concerned she's an unperson. It's like the girl who turns you down for a date, if she says No, that ends it.
I would say a lesson needs to be taught. Clearly her parents taught her nothing. I am so sick and tired of others making excuses for lousy manners and just plain despicable behavior. Someone gifts you something you show your gratitude. If you don’t want or need the gift. You show your gratitude anyways. And don’t blame it on “todays generation”. That’s a load of ****. This is literally what’s wrong with are country today. A complete lack of eloquence! OP you should leave her out of any future gifting.
……………AMEN…………
BLACKHAWKNJ
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I can think of 2 times people showed their gratitude to me. Here in NJ there is a bi-annual event, Chiller Theatre, an autograph convention. Guests range from Oscar winners-Ernest Borgnine, e.g., A-listers-Tony Curtis, B-movie, sci-fi stars, TV stars, drive-in movie stars. I like to give birthday cards to guests who either have birthdays coming up or just had them. Gave a card to William Shatner last spring, he just turned 93. On 2 occasions I gave birthday cards to Playboy Playmates-they both gave me hugs !
I have a little cousin who has the same birthday as me. He was born 66 years behind me. I thought that was such a cool thing that I would send him Eisenhower dollar coins to match his age (limit now of 5 because they are a little heavy to ship). His mom, one of my many first cousins, must be teaching him well, because when he was 3 or 4 he wrote his own "thank you" to me. If we have the family reunion in the Confederacy next year I hope I'll finally get to meet him.
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Month and a half ago I sent a really nice Winchester M-12 28 ga skeet gun to a friend back east. Worth approx 5 grand. He always wanted one.. My Gkids wouldn't appreciate it like he has and would probably sell if for much less. As far as the OP's question..I asked my wife...She is much nicer than I am. Never hesitated and said that niece deserves nothing...or next to it...send her a 100 bucks. she'll get the message. Hard lessons are usually remembered...my mother always told me a heartfelt thank you usually gets a good reaction...and I don't mean money
$9.99 from Amazon.
People giving thanks for a karma, even though they probably won’t win, imagine that.
Little fall Karma...Lazer grip sight.
Little fall Karma...Lazer grip sight.
Thank you for all of the ideas and comments. Yes, it is a hard decision to make. Her parents are divorced and her mother, my sister, passed away 5 years ago and her father wants nothing to do with the kids so parental help is nonexistent. Perhaps I'll talk to her sister to try find out if there is any reasons I'm not aware of. My current trust is setup so that each one get an equal share. Do I leave it that way or change it? That is the big question.
