Respect and Dignity at funerals
- Thread starter Faulkner
- Start date
Some years ago a fairly well known Cowboy Action shooter died. As did many, I attended in my re-enactor outfit, which you can see in my avatar.
I'm giving instructions to tell everyone to wear their Civil War uniforms or old west re-enactor outfits at my funeral.
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A 007 ejector seat built into the coffin & pop goes the weasel being played loudly.
Are you trying to drum up some business for the local undertakers?
amazingflapjack
US Veteran
I get where Faulkner and Redlevel are coming from-a decidedly Southern Prospective. My Dad died in Georgia, and it was in N.E. Georgia, where tradition lives long, and is handed down as a responsibility. As long as you're going to die, this should be on your short list of places to do so, in my view. Political correctness is the scourge of our fair land, and at the end of the day, has greatly diminished free speech, especially the visceral first response of males (men).
I went to an old friend's calling hours today. I've known him since we were teenagers in the 70s. I knew that he wouldn't care what I wore to his calling hours and would simply appreciate the fact that I cared enough to go. Rich was a biker. I wore a clean Harley-Davidson T-shirt under my brown Carhartt jacket and clean blue jeans. Work boots. Nobody seemed to care. RIP Rich.
Ivan the Butcher
Member
For 20 years my wife and children know that I want cremated. In Southern Ohio there is a cliff I wish to be broadcast from. After my mother in law's funeral 6 years ago, I ask my wife what she would like? She said, "Throw me of the cliff with you, no sense wasting perfectly good real estate on an empty bag of bones!" This area is an old stomping grounds for both of us, since our health and age don't allow us the journey there now, This will be the first step in our trip home!
Ivan
Ivan
Might be the same guy I saw wear a Jack Daniels t-shirt to his jury trial for DUI.
Another southern tradition.
When approached by a funeral procession, pulling off the road until it passes.
Sadly, this form of respect seems to be fading away too.
When approached by a funeral procession, pulling off the road until it passes.
Sadly, this form of respect seems to be fading away too.
Cultural variability. I don't go to many funerals. But I've done burials at sea, both casket and ashes, and I've done a "paddle out" for a surfer, where some 75 to 100 surfers paddled out on their boards, formed a huge circle, held hands, a Royal Hawaiian sang a sacred chant and the ashes were spread, while flowers were tossed into the circle.
When I attend a funeral in my home town, I wear a black suit, a blue tie, and stand next to the Constable.
That's the only time I wear a black suit anymore.
When I attend a funeral in my home town, I wear a black suit, a blue tie, and stand next to the Constable.
That's the only time I wear a black suit anymore.
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AManWearingAHat
Member
From reading all the stories and customs here. I see the effort as a more meaningful tribute to the departed then what you happen to be wearing. Whether its overalls and a pressed shirt or a three piece suit, if you've put thought into yourself and shown up with a genuine heart to pay respect to the deceased, you're doing a good thing for a grieving family.
A number of men wear bib overalls to the church I attend. When I lived in Alabama and up here in the Blue Ridge as well, folks pull over when a funeral procession goes by.
The captain of my War between the States re-enactment unit died and all of us re-enactors wore our uniforms to the service.
The captain of my War between the States re-enactment unit died and all of us re-enactors wore our uniforms to the service.
THE PILGRIM
Member
My old Buddy Jack passed about a month ago.
His SEA RF-4 Backseater went onto bigger and better things and became an Astronaut.
He wore his SEA Party Suit to the funeral.
His SEA RF-4 Backseater went onto bigger and better things and became an Astronaut.
He wore his SEA Party Suit to the funeral.
My fat slob sister law leaned on my mommas casket and set her drink on top. Before I could get up one the church members went up and suggested she shouldn't do that. I didn't see her again till her funeral 15years later, only attended for my brother
Whitwabit
US Veteran
I have only seen respect during funeral's !!
Its not unusual for on coming cars to a funeral procession will pull over to show respect for the loved ones of people they don't even know !!!
Its not unusual for on coming cars to a funeral procession will pull over to show respect for the loved ones of people they don't even know !!!
I served as a pallbearer for my wife's grandfather. The family insisted that pallbearers dress in jeans and a white guayabera. They are Cuban.
At my stepsister's funeral (she was into car racing and motorcycles) I was one of only two men wearing a tie. There were lots of jeans and t-shirts. Even the preacher was tieless. For most funerals I do wear a suit and tie, though.
At my stepsister's funeral (she was into car racing and motorcycles) I was one of only two men wearing a tie. There were lots of jeans and t-shirts. Even the preacher was tieless. For most funerals I do wear a suit and tie, though.
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My cousins son was a small town county sheriff and on his 10 year wedding anniversary he and his wife went out for a nice dinner and movie and when going home he got a call from the deputies that had just made a drug bust. He dropped off his wife and was going to a coffee shop to meet the deputies and help with their paper work when he passed a strange vehicle at an oil company and went to check it out. He was shot six times and died on the way to the hospital. When we went to the funeral it was amazing how many people showed up and as the procession went by everyone pulled off the road and many pedestrians took their hats off or put their hand over their heart. There seems to be a lot more respect for the dead in small towns than in the big cities.
Like many others I seldom attend funerals except those of close family and best friends. Although most dress accordingly, I don't really care what folks wear or if they bring a "comfort" pet to pay their final respects, at least they showed up.
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I avoid funerals when possible but I will say most people around here are still respectful in their attire and do pull off for a funeral procession.
You're complaining about the heat and standing at the grave site? Try
20 below and the day after a blizzard. That was the case for both of my parents many years apart.
The most unusual and appropriate service I ever attended was for a dear lady who raised mules and her husband had draft horses. The service was held in the machine shed on their farm. Her son made the casket. The funeral procession was lead by a team of her mules pulling the casket to the rural cemetery and following that were wagons for the relatives and friends pulled by the draft horses.
Cremation has become more common here and then a celebration of life at a different time. When my hubby passed away several years ago it was 2 days after Christmas. Had the celebration of life the 1st weekend in June at a lakeshore state park, the pastor wore a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. A short service and then plenty of beer, wine and food.
You're complaining about the heat and standing at the grave site? Try
20 below and the day after a blizzard. That was the case for both of my parents many years apart.
The most unusual and appropriate service I ever attended was for a dear lady who raised mules and her husband had draft horses. The service was held in the machine shed on their farm. Her son made the casket. The funeral procession was lead by a team of her mules pulling the casket to the rural cemetery and following that were wagons for the relatives and friends pulled by the draft horses.
Cremation has become more common here and then a celebration of life at a different time. When my hubby passed away several years ago it was 2 days after Christmas. Had the celebration of life the 1st weekend in June at a lakeshore state park, the pastor wore a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. A short service and then plenty of beer, wine and food.
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
My first wife, the mother of my kids, died last month in northern Illinois. We divorced in 1974. She was cremated and her ashes brought back here for a memorial service the second of this month.
I wore a blue blazer, grey slacks and a turtleneck. The blazer and slacks were all I had that I could wear since I lost over forty pounds due to illness. The turtleneck was because I have trouble with the little buttons on a dress shirt. I don't think the ex minded, and the kids and the one siblings of hers who made it didn't either.
I'll be cremated, with a brief memorial service and a hopefully festive reception for the seventeen people (tops) who will show up. What they decide to wear will matter only to them, if that.
I'll be scattered on the Kentucky River where I scattered my final wife's ashes. Hunter Thompson's idea of having his shot from a cannon appeals, but I promised Carol before she died.
I wore a blue blazer, grey slacks and a turtleneck. The blazer and slacks were all I had that I could wear since I lost over forty pounds due to illness. The turtleneck was because I have trouble with the little buttons on a dress shirt. I don't think the ex minded, and the kids and the one siblings of hers who made it didn't either.
I'll be cremated, with a brief memorial service and a hopefully festive reception for the seventeen people (tops) who will show up. What they decide to wear will matter only to them, if that.
I'll be scattered on the Kentucky River where I scattered my final wife's ashes. Hunter Thompson's idea of having his shot from a cannon appeals, but I promised Carol before she died.
