Some timely advice for married men...

[coltle6920]

If during a heated discussion a woman asks "What's that supposed to mean?" ask her if that was a multiple choice question and be prepared to either duck or run.

 

[Grayfox]

Sometimes my late wife would get mad and not speak to me for days.
I enjoyed those peaceful times.

 

[jjrr]

This is an old one but some wisdom "if your wife's mad at you buy a new motorcycle and she will still be mad but you will have a new motorcycle". If you are not a mc guy insert your favorite toy in mc place.

 

[walter o]

That "CALM DOWN" is like throwing a cup of GAS on a fire to put it out

 

[jeffrefrig]

My wife has been on a diet that slowly removes excess weight. That's how "they" say it works best. Last week she told me she lost 31 lbs. so far. The last thing I remember was she was walking away from me and I told her I found it. I should be out of ICU and into PT by next week. Of course, they all stick together. I asked a female nurse for something for pain. She laughed & said, "Yeah, I bet you DO!" as she walked out of my room. Then I heard a whole gaggle of them out by the nurse station laughing hysterically! A doctor came in a while ago and slipped a pill in my hand and said, "If you mention this to ANYBODY I'm coming in and going to unplug some of these tubes!"

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

I am a very blessed man! I have been married to the world's most forgiving woman for 45 years! She not only forgives me for the numerous times I have been wrong, but she also even forgives me when I'm Right!

She is Left-handed, that makes her sinister by nature but not by character!
I on the other hand am right-handed, and thereby Rightminded. We fit so well together!

Ivan