The dreaded “It’s the gun or me” gauntlet...

[Maximumbob54]

Has anyone ever had this thrown in their face? I had a good friend years ago that went with me to a gun store. He bought a Taurus 605 and we walked into the range with his free pass for buying a new gun. It was great. He loved it and instantly became another new satisfied gun owner. We used to go to the range at least every other weekend. When his relationship got serious she decided they needed to get married and found a bigger place. Then she found out about his gun… Sadly he had no idea how anti gun she was as it had just never come up before. He went around trying to sell it but we all know how great a deal most gun shops will offer you and even worse for the Taurus phobia. So I bought it from him and years later it's still a great gun. I can only be thankful that my female half wasn't as anti as his was. Mine has even grown to enjoy them enough that she owns a revolver and a shotgun now. Anyone else want to share a horror story or a tale of romance that a moment of wisdom saved them from???

 

[Alpo]

I don't like ultimatums. If she told me, "It's me or the" anything - gun, dog, TV, computer, beer - then it's, "Bye bye".

But I do recall asking a young lady, when it appeared to be getting serious, how she felt about guns. Said I had a bunch, planned on having more, and carried one with me wherever I went. So if she was against guns, we needed to stop it before it went any further.

 

[DeadAye]

When I was a teen I had a 45/45 Harley. I still remember going to work one day at US Steel with a For Sale sign on it. An older guy asked me why I was selling it so I told him - My *fiance* told me it was her or the motorcycle. The old man laid these words of wisdom on me:
"The motorcycle is just the beginning kid - What's next? What will you HAVE to give up after that?"

I kept the bike ........

 

[OFT II]

It sounds like time to get a new one. Gun, wife or both.

 

[sipowicz]

When I was a teen I had a 45/45 Harley. I still remember going to work one day at US Steel with a For Sale sign on it. An older guy asked me why I was selling it so I told him - My *fiance* told me it was her or the motorcycle. The old man laid these words of wisdom on me:
"The motorcycle is just the beginning kid - What's next? What will you HAVE to give up after that?"

I kept the bike ........

That was you? I have always wondered if you sold it...

 

[Snowbandit]

It's hardly ever about the gun, dog, motorcycle, whatever. It's a game of control. It's not a fun game for either party and we don't play it here. It's been my experience that the guy who's willing to give up everything to keep her is going to get dumped anyway when she finds a man.

 

[brucev]

The three big issues of marriage or just about any relationship are money, sex and power, not necessarily in that order. These have to be decided. The settlement is never equal. Like it or not, few will ever get to have everything their own precise way. Such people are few. They are usually people who go through life alone... or surrounded by weak, dependent people. If one is more committed to self than one's wife, then at best the marriage will suffer. At worst, it will fail. In either case, both husband and wife loose. In a good marriage, both husband and wife learn how to give and take. In a good marriage, there is a lot of give and take... you have to give a lot more than you take and take a lot more than you give! Apart from that, you will have little success in marriage as well as other relationships of life whether career, hobby, etc. You have to decide if you love your wife/husband more than you love a possession. Personally I value my wife. She reciprocates that affirmation. We don't agree on all things. But we work things out. And, if I see that there is something I really care about and think is important but that it is pushing us apart, then whatever it is has to go. Things come and things go. People are not replaceable. We live in a disposable society. But I will not dispose of people... especially my wife. There's no one else like her in this entire world! I will not trash our marriage relationship for anything.

 

[venomballistics]

its a trick ... the answer ultimately will be neither

 

[Bekeart]

Good Choice!

When I was a teen I had a 45/45 Harley. I still remember going to work one day at US Steel with a For Sale sign on it. An older guy asked me why I was selling it so I told him - My *fiance* told me it was her or the motorcycle. The old man laid these words of wisdom on me:
"The motorcycle is just the beginning kid - What's next? What will you HAVE to give up after that?"

I kept the bike ........

Good Choice!

Bekeart

 

[BarbC]

I dont control other people or tell them what they can or can't do, and I expect the same courtesy.

People who lay down ultimatums such as "It's either me or the whatever" need to realize that they might end up on the losing end of it... but that might be just what they wanted in the first place, only they were too cowardly to do it themselves.

 

[jag312]

If you don't like my (guns, motorcycles, cars, etc.), then you don't like me. End of discusssion.

 

[OKFC05]

People who lay down ultimatums such as "It's either me or the whatever" need to realize that they might end up on the losing end of it... but that might be just what they wanted in the first place, only they were too cowardly to do it themselves.

Saw that more than once in service.
Spouse says "If you take that assignment, I'm leaving you".......then leaves regardless.

One buddy turned down 06 to "make peace", and a year later was divorced anyway. She just wanted her friends to think it was his fault.

 

[pete950]

If you don't like my (guns, motorcycles, cars, etc.), then you don't like me. End of discusssion.

I agree these things are who you are. No one should make you give up anything you enjoy. Just tell he to get a hobby too.

 

[CajunBass]

Back in the day, I was a...shall we say...a cad. I was seeing a number of women at the same time. The one who I ultimately married has told me a number of times that she never gave me an ultimatum because she wanted to know I CHOSE her. Not because I was forced into it, in any way, shape or form.

She's a wise lady.

 

[Fishslayer]

It's hardly ever about the gun, dog, motorcycle, whatever. It's a game of control. It's not a fun game for either party and we don't play it here. It's been my experience that the guy who's willing to give up everything to keep her is going to get dumped anyway when she finds a man.

Yup. That topic comes up from time to time on other forums. I always advise to get out now before it will cost you half your stuff.

 

[gregintenn]

I like to believe that my wife and I are mature enough to make our own desicions. The decisions that can have big consequences are discussed and made together. She also had guns when we started dating.

 

[Harvester]

I still do not understand how that subject (and many others) to not come up with some couples before they say "I DO"... seriously, what did they do- date for 5 minutes before getting married?

A friend of mine who has since passed on shared the best version of that scenario I have heard:

After the marriage, his new wife moved-in and discovered he owned guns. She told him: "The guns gotta go!" He smiled and simply replied: "They were here first." She replied: "Does that mean *I* gotta go?!?" He said: "That's up to you."

Long story short, she gave guns a try and quickly became a gun enthusiast and they lived happily ever after!

~Harvester

 

[357larry]

I have tried to use the same philosophy as brucev, if something comes between my wife and I, then it has to go. Damned mother-in-law won't take the hint though. She's like a **** that won't flush, goes round and around but comes back, time and time again.

 

[venomballistics]

I still do not understand how that subject (and many others) to not come up with some couples before they say "I DO"... seriously, what did they do- date for 5 minutes before getting married?

A friend of mine who has since passed on shared the best version of that scenario I have heard:

After the marriage, his new wife moved-in and discovered he owned guns. She told him: "The guns gotta go!" He smiled and simply replied: "They were here first." She replied: "Does that mean *I* gotta go?!?" He said: "That's up to you."

Long story short, she gave guns a try and quickly became a gun enthusiast and they lived happily ever after!

~Harvester

Dude ... She knew and you cant tell me any different.

 

[Thuer]

When I met my wife she says to me "I like that you trow your guns in to the river" I said my dear, the only thing I trow in is you.
Anyhow we are married for 23 years now and have a guncollection.
So it could be the other way around to. She tought I was worth it.