The dreaded “It’s the gun or me” gauntlet...

About 5 years ago my wife came to me and said that she would submit to me and my decisions. Well didn't that just take the wind out of my sails. There was no need to win a fight there was no purpose in fighting. What it did was give me time to realize that I'm not always right. I pick my battles no matter how easy they are to win because she is 9 out of 10 times right. I'm at the top of the pecking order and have no more wind mills to defeat. If I want a gun, unlike before, I would weigh the options carefully. Would she give me a ultimatum? Nope that would start a fight. She would never do that she is as good as it gets. Not say I haven't bought a few that she just bit her toungue but I know by the look in her eye that I messed up. I wouldn't have anybody else. Doeboy
 
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BarbC said:
I don't know... we had a really good marriage and friendship until he retired and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere except to the garage and drink. Everything I did to entertain myself, he had a problem with because it took attention away from him. So after two years of him screaming at me to quit whatever I was involved with at the time, he demanded a divorce in a drunken snit fit and then refused to take it back because he "didn't want people to think he didn't mean what he said" and he "has his pride."

He also has my house, my furniture, my safe, my dog, my friends. Oh, and I had to quit the job I love because I couldn't afford to live where I worked on the income I was making part-time. He refuses to keep me on any of his insurance once we're divorced. For all of this, he said I could have $20,000. He wanted the divorce over with in 90 days. I have balked and the proceedings are stalled at this point.

So I left and went to do some work in a far away place to stay busy, make a difference, and be completely out of my element so I don't get depressed.

And that's where we stand.

And it's a shame.
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Hi, BarbC:
Just woke up and came on the post.
If you have an attorney-get a better one!
It sounds to me that you are being taken to the cleaners.
Just my opinion.
Jimmy
 
BarbC, I would agree with Jimmy. I think you're getting a raw deal and need a really good attorney. I also agree that it is a shame, sadly some people change in a bad way and hurt those around them. I hope things work out for you.
 
It doesn't matter what he wants---get a good attorney.
Men should be beat with a baseball bat on a regular basis when they get into those days. Men are really stupid when it comes to getting older.
I think I should prefice this with "SOME MEN"/all men sometimes.
Blessings
 
How about...it's your job, or me? I went through 2 wives ( out of three ) before I retired. Both knew, obviously, before we married that I was a cop. But, being gone 9 hours, to around the clock, turned out to be to much for them. Snitches knocking on the door day and in the middle of the night..stoned..munchies, stink..etc., I had to deal with it ( no, that's wrong, I wanted to deal with it ) and they couldn't.

I was totally up front with them BEFORE the marriage about all of it.

I worked out of uniform, and when I made Sergent, it only got worse.

Yes, I was in control of the home front, but I WAS honest with both of them.
I'm sure I'll get different opinions. But my job was my job, and there was no doubt about how much I loved it for anybody who knew me.

The wife who stuck it out has been with me for 32 years..I think what happened before her was just basic training...
 
BarbC said:
I don't know... we had a really good marriage and friendship until he retired and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere except to the garage and drink. Everything I did to entertain myself, he had a problem with because it took attention away from him. So after two years of him screaming at me to quit whatever I was involved with at the time, he demanded a divorce in a drunken snit fit and then refused to take it back because he "didn't want people to think he didn't mean what he said" and he "has his pride."

He also has my house, my furniture, my safe, my dog, my friends. Oh, and I had to quit the job I love because I couldn't afford to live where I worked on the income I was making part-time. He refuses to keep me on any of his insurance once we're divorced. For all of this, he said I could have $20,000. He wanted the divorce over with in 90 days. I have balked and the proceedings are stalled at this point.

So I left and went to do some work in a far away place to stay busy, make a difference, and be completely out of my element so I don't get depressed.

And that's where we stand.

And it's a shame.
Click to expand...

he may have his pride but his common sense and decency are absent. It's not like you were doing anything that anyone else doesn't do. And your entertainment was a lot better than what he was doing. personally I think he's going to have to look long and hard to get anyone half as good. maybe he will wind up with the kind of woman his kind deserves.

In the meanwhile you need to get a good lawyer and get a decent settlement instead what he thinks you should have.
 
Guns and Bikes

Second date I told my wife about the guns. "There here to stay". 20 years later a Harley shows up. She was PISSED. Same story. It wasnt about the money, it was talint time away from her. CONTROL! Never give up your liberty but also don't neglect the lady. Mine has guns of her own and a seat on the bike if she wants to participate
 
I don't and never have demand anything from my wife of over 45 years and she doesn't me .. everything is mutually agreed up on .. she knew I had weapons before we were married and didn't expect me to get rid of them just because she was now in my life !!
when conceal carry was approved in Illinois I told her I was thinking of acquiring mine .. after a few months and several home invasions in the area she asked if I was still thinking about it to stop thinking and do it .. she isn't interested in getting hers but wants to feel protected .. several times she has asked if I was armed when we are out not to badger me but to feel secure in the knowledge that I'm armed ..
 
snubbyfan said:
Just gotta find the right woman.
One day my wife asked me, "Are any of these guns loaded?"
Figuring I thwarted her I replied, "Nope they're all unloaded with the ammo in another room."
She replied, "Then what good are they if none of them are loaded?"
Yup, got me a good one.
Click to expand...

Probably the best post in this entire Zombie Thread.

giphy.gif
 
...when I got married I owned one gun...a Remington Wing Master 12 gauge...my dear farm girl wife says "don't you think we need a few more?"...it was "Katy Bar the Door"...we got more alright...lots more...and we had them all...until the safe fell out of the canoe while I was doing a GPS search for the Titanic...
 
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When I was fixing to get married again I found out my intended hag a gun. Ok cool, let's see it.:)
Sterling .22.:( Deal breaker, until I found out it was a gift from her Grandfather when she headed off to college.
Yeah, me and him had words.:D
 
My wife was given some advise by her mother ," DO not ever think about changing a person after you marry them" you accept them for what they are if you love them . If not move on ,Our relation ship lasted 55 years +. She passed on the same advise to our 3 daughters ,@ took her advise and are still married, 1 did not and has paid dearly for it.It does work both ways though.
 
I would never throw away my life to be with somebody who'd rather see one or both of us slaughtered rather than defend ourselves with a firearm.

I would no more marry such a woman than I'd marry one with "88" tattooed on her forehead.
 
i don't know where you guys find these people.
i guess i know a few pro gun people. i don't know any antis.
most everyone i know is neutral about guns, including liberals.
i know hunters, but they don't seem pro gun either. to them a gun is a tool.

i open carry n nobody cares.
 
Years ago when things went really bad with my son's mother, she demanded that I sell my "ridiculous Ferrari", which I owned several years before I met her, and give her half the money. I remember my reply as if it was yesterday. "I'll sell the car for a dollar, and give you 50 cents. That twice what you're worth, you two bit (lady of the evening)". If anyone doesn't know the exact word I used, I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with door.
 
Yes, it's all about control. Relationship ? Sounds more like a servant/master or serf/lord relationship. Speaking from the vantage point of a more or less confirmed single, I have seen too many guys (and gals) find they were nothing but an ATM and a bank account, a maidservant and a plow horse. I saw a letter in Dear Abby, a man who said he'd always been the provider, paid his kids way through college-no student debt-paid for everything else, now his wife was quacking because he wanted to buy a car and it's "our"
money.
Plenty of fish in the sea.
 
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